


Taking One For The Team

by YukiSetsu



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Langst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, and pidge, i barely know them, i just love protective teammates/friends okay, protective voltron family, there should be fluff... hopefully, why do i do this to lance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2018-10-06 22:13:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10345635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukiSetsu/pseuds/YukiSetsu
Summary: A mission gone wrong lands Lance and Pidge in a dangerous situation. When communication with the rest of the team is compromised, they have to take drastic measures to escape. Pidge can only hope that they get out before things get worse and one of them breaks. Especially Lance.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spring break is here and I am living. Still extremely stressed though wah. Please take this story as a token of my procrastination and stress-relief.

 

“Pidge, there's a lot more coming.”

Lance's voice was tense, devoid of any of the usual confidence and lighthearted humor it held. Pidge couldn't blame him, though. Who would've expected things to go downhill so quickly?

“Can you hold them off for a bit longer?” She yelled, straining to be heard over the constant blasting from Lance's bayard. “The data's almost downloaded. I'll find us a way out right after.” His eyes flicked over to her briefly before he gave a quick nod.

Pidge turned her focus back onto her computer, staring at the progress bar and desperately willing for it to go faster. She couldn't believe she'd missed such a large number of Galra when calculating the numbers before this all happened. Her scanner hadn't picked up this many back at the Castle. If she'd known, she never would've been on board with this data extraction mission.

Her screen lit up, shaking her out of her thoughts. “It's done!” She called out, working to pull up an internal layout of the ship. She needed to find the quickest route out from here.

It was only then she realized that Lance's bayard had stopped firing. Pidge jerked her head up, immediately fearing the worst. Did a stray Galra make it past and get to him? Had he exhausted himself and collapsed? But when she looked up, Lance was still standing, his back to her and his bayard at his side. His shoulders were heaving, breathing as if he had run a marathon. Most likely the result from the intense concentration he'd been utilizing to keep the Galra at bay. But why had he stopped?

She got her answer once she glanced past his figure, at the crowd of Galra that were gathered at the entrance to the control room. A weird transparent barrier had been erected between them and Lance, glowing an eerie purple. Lance's bayard must have no effect on it.

“Paladins of Voltron?” The one at the head of the crowd—and the one holding the weird orb that was emitting the barrier—finally spoke. He looked evidently different from the rest of the soldiers droids, who were clearly just constructed out of machinery. His outfit almost reminded her of a military uniform, aside from the fact that it was an unsettling shade of purple. Most likely their commander. “What a pleasant day this is turning out to be for the Galra Empire.”

“Glad we can skip the introductions,” Lance quipped, pointing his bayard back up towards the group. “I'd ask who you are, but quite frankly, I don't care.”

The Galra laughed, loud and ugly. “What you care about matters not to us. You are the soon-to-be prisoners of the Galra empire, after all. I am Commander Xaglar, leader of this ship.” His glowing eyes flicked over from Lance to Pidge. She stiffened, her fingers freezing over her laptop. “I suggest both of you step away from your weapons before your lives are considered forfeit.”

For a long moment, no one moved. Pidge thought furiously, trying to weigh their chances. There were 20—maybe 25—droids in sight, assuming there weren't more ready to crowd in at the given opportunity. Their only shot was if she could somehow make it across the room and disarm that weird barrier so that Lance could--

Xaglar suddenly reached behind him with his free hand, bringing it back around to show a gun. It was bulky and oddly-shaped, but it was a gun. And it was trained directly at her.

“I will not ask a second time. Surrender before the Green Paladin loses their life.”

Lance moved then, lowering his bayard once more. This time it fully reverted out of sight before his raised both hands. “You do realize that there are other Paladins, right? They have the Lions and plenty of firepower on their own, so if you don't want this ship blown to smithereens I'd--”

“The Lions will not make it past the barrier erected around this ship.” Xaglar cut in, voice smug. “Do not underestimate Galra technology. No one, friend or foe, can bypass it without my affirmation. Now surrender.”

Pidge knew she had no other choice. She slowly stepped back, getting to her feet as she raised her hands the same way Lance had. If they were going to break out, now wasn't the time.

The droids moved quickly after that, scuttling around the barrier and surrounding them within seconds. Pidge bit back a protest when she saw one of them grab at her laptop almost a bit too recklessly. She was sure they wouldn't be able to hack into her system that easily, at least. Xaglar barked out a few orders before Pidge felt one of the robots roughly shove at her back. She stumbled forward, catching herself before she could fall smack on her face.

“Keep your hands raised and walk.” Was all Xaglar said before he exited the room and the robots resumed their annoying shove-fest. Pidge and Lance were walking side-by-side now, arms still raised in surrender. It was eerily silent, save for the constant footsteps and scuttling from the droids. She sneaked a glance to her side, careful not to be too obvious in her intentions. Lance was still staring forward, although she could catch his eyes discreetly darting back and forth down the corridor they were headed. Memorizing the layout. Of course, Pidge thought. She should be doing the same. She looked back ahead, opting to check for anything they could use to their advantage later. Any blind spots, secret passageways, air vents... This was the closest thing they were gonna get to a tour of the ship, so she needed to capitalize on it.

After too much walking, they finally rounded a corner into a more dimly lit hall. Pidge spotted Xaglar coming to a stop up ahead, stepping inside of a room by himself. Before she could even wonder what he was doing, he was already back out, bags and some sort of clothing in hand. The robots parted instantly as he walked back towards where she and Lance stood.

“Remove your suits. You will wear more appropriate clothing as Galra prisoners.” He smirked, tossing the black fabric in his hands at their feet.

Pidge pursed her lips, but started removing the first bits of her armor. She could hear Lance doing the same, although he was talking as he did so.

“You don't happen to have this in another color, by any chance, do you? Preferably blue.”

“Or green.” Pidge added.

Lance hummed in appreciation. “An excellent contribution, Pidge. I can rock green.”

“Silence!” Xaglar snarled, reaching for his belt. Pidge's eyes darted to him at the movement, expecting him to pull out the gun again, only to widen when he pulled out some kind of whip instead. Seriously, how many weapons did he have on him? He cracked it on the ground warningly. “You will wear this and only this. And you will hurry. I will not waste any more time on this matter.”

At her side, she felt Lance jump at the noise, having been too busy removing his knee armor to notice Xaglar pulling out the whip. She decided not to test her limits yet, setting the last of her armor onto the ground. It felt noticeably colder after the protective layer was removed, even with the skin suit left underneath, and she suppressed a shiver. The prisoner garb didn't make much of a difference, so tattered and thin it might as well have not been there at all. She didn't appreciate the lack of shoes either. Being barefooted on Galra territory made her feet feel way too vulnerable and gross.

Lance finished shortly after, and the robots moved swiftly to collect their disposed armor into the bags Xaglar had carried out. He ordered two of them to take the bags back to the control room, something Pidge noted and tucked away. Looked like their main destination after they managed an escape plan would be the control room. They were herded forward a few more feet down the hall before coming up in front of a cell. The door opened with a creak and one of the robots gave a particularly powerful shove, one that actually sent her stumbling into the cell and onto the ground this time.

“Hey! Watch it!” Lance snapped. He grunted as another robot threw him into the cell in the same manner.

“We'll back for interrogations later.” Xaglar grinned, sliding the gate shut. Once it did, the metal of the bars suddenly began to glow a faint pink, the room filling with the constant hum of electricity. “I'd advise you not to touch the bars. They can be quite painful.” He chuckled and walked off, his horde of soldiers following in his wake.

Pidge got to her feet, dusting her knees off as Lance made his way be her side. “Are you okay?” He asked, bending down and eyeing her as if to check for injuries.

“I'm fine.” She grumbled, taking a quick scan of the room. At least it wasn't cramped. And they weren't handcuffed, either. Xaglar clearly didn't view them as a threat while they were weaponless and apart from their Lions. “Aside from the fact that we're stuck in a cell on a Galra ship with no ways of current escape, I'm absolutely swell.”

Lance grinned, the obnoxious smile back on his face. “Glad you still have your sense of humor.” His voice dropped, more serious. “Don't worry. We'll get outta here... Once we find a chance.”

Pidge hoped that was soon, because honestly, she didn't want to stick around long enough for Xaglar to go through his itinerary of interrogation tactics on either of them. “Were your comms working when we still had our helmets?”

Lance shook his head, crossing his arms. “Nah, I'd been getting static since the alarms went off.”

“I think it could be that barrier Xaglar mentioned. It must have activated once they realized there were intruders. I'm guessing it's scrambling the feeds or something.”

There a bit of silence as Lance pondered the thought. “So our only bet to get out of here is to disable that barrier from the inside, huh?”

Pidge sighed. “That's assuming we ever get an opportunity to make it to the control room.” She stalked over to opposite side of the gates, sitting down and leaning against the wall. “Give me a moment.”

Lance didn't move from where he stood, but she felt his eyes following her as she pushed back a sleeve on her wrist and felt for the thin transparent band she was wearing. It was still there, instantly lighting up a pale green once her finger made contact with it.

“What's that?” Lance piped up, and Pidge glanced up to see him now standing front of her and leaning over, squinting to get a better look. “You made a glowing bracelet?”

She grinned, almost triumphantly. “Watch this.”

A few taps did the trick. It was something she constructed to use in emergencies, when she somehow landed in a situation where normal forms of communication were compromised. She had been going for a minimalist design, something so discreet no one would realize it was actually there. But it still needed to be able to serve its purpose. To put it simply, a few taps of a certain sequence was the only way to activate the function. Almost like Morse Code, except there were only three variations: turn on, turn off, and call.

The bracelet blinked in confirmation once it registered her pattern, projecting a small screen that was running a long stream of code. That had been the hard part. She needed an alternate pathway to contact the Castle system without using the typical frequencies. In a scenario where those normal signals were being blocked or hacked, it was vital for there to be a guarantee that no one would be able to intercept it.

Another blink, and the screen disappeared.

There was a bit of static, and Pidge waited for it to die down before speaking. “Hello? Anyone there?”

Lance—who had crouched down once the code started running—glanced up at her voice, eyebrow raised.

“Pidge? Is that you?”

Lance's eyes went so comically wide Pidge had to stifle a laugh. “Coran?!” His voice went up an octave, and he instinctively snuck a glance over his shoulder to make sure he hadn't spoken too loud to alert anyone.

“Oh what a relief it is to finally hear your voices! I must contact the Princess!” Coran's voice was growing distant, but still audible. She could hear a clamor of noise in the background, filled with shouting and footsteps.

“Pidge?” It was Shiro's voice this time, thick with worry and panic.

“Yeah, it's me. We don't have access to our comms right now, so I'm using a different system. I don't know how long it'll last.” Lance was still gawking at her, and she felt amused enough to shoot him a self-satisfied smile.

“What happened? Are you both okay?”

A slight frown touched Pidge's face. “We're okay. Uhh..” She exchanged a look with Lance, who now wore a sheepish grin. “Actually, we kind of got captured by the Galra.”

“You what?!” Hunk's voice rang out, as if he was shouting from somewhere further back. “We gotta get you out! Like right now!”

“Pidge,” Shiro cut in, almost urgently. “The Lions have been trying to breach the barrier the ship put up, but we're making no progress. Coran and the Princess have been working on finding a different method for now.”

“We're gonna try and take it down from the inside.” Lance piped up. “Sneak into the control room or something.”

“How are you going to make it to the control room if you're captured?” Keith's voice crackled in. He was probably genuinely asking, but Lance still scowled at the question.

“We're working on that.” Pidge quickly cut in before Lance could make one of his typical snarky remarks. They didn't have time for bickering.

Somewhere in the background, she heard Coran's voice. Shiro was speaking again, but it was distant and muffled. There was a thump, as if someone else had taken the spot in front of the mic.

“Pidge? Lance?” Allura's voice this time. “Are you two alright?” She sounded breathless, as if she'd been running.

“We're okay for now.” Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Lance getting back to his feet and inching closer towards the cell bars. She was about to warn him not to get too close, but he'd already stopped, standing a mere few inches from the glow.

Allura was speaking again, repeating the same thing Shiro had said about some alternate method to take down the barrier. So far there was no luck, but they were still trying. Pidge listened, but kept watching Lance while he glanced side to side in front of the bars, as if trying to peer down as much of the corridor as he could.

She blinked with surprise when the realization finally hit her. He was making sure no one was approaching the cell and caught them making the call. Not that she would admit it out loud, but Lance was actually pretty capable when he wanted to be.

“--idge, are you still there?” Allura's voice was rising in volume, worry evident at the lack of response. “Can you hear us?”

“Sorry, I'm here.” Pidge supplied quickly, tearing her eyes back to her wrist. She'd trust Lance to be their lookout. “There are a lot more Galra than we expected, but we'll think of a way to slip past them.”

“Alright.” Allura sounded grim, but steadfast. “But above all, be careful.”

They only spoke for a few more seconds, with Pidge reporting how many Galra they'd encountered and a bit about the layout of the ship. She said anything that came to mind, unsure of what would actually be useful to the team at the moment. But halfway through her recollection of their eventual capture, she heard Lance.

“Pidge.” The name was spoken so quietly, it was barely a whisper. But Pidge jerked her head up instantly, the words dying on her lips. Lance had gone still, staring hard to his left down the hall. He glanced over his shoulder to look at her, and she knew. Someone was coming.

She brought her wrist closer to her mouth, whispering rapidly now. “Guys, I gotta go, someone's coming. I don't know when I can contact you again, but please keep a watch out.” She didn't wait for a response, already bringing her arm down and tapping out the code to deactivate the bracelet. The green light faded away just as she heard the footsteps come past the cell.

It was just a pair of droids. For a second, she expected them to simply pass by, but they came to a halt right at the center of the cell. One of their scanners activated, gleaming past the pink bars and reaching inwards. It was a brief swipe of the area, probably just to make sure they were still inside.

“Thanks for stopping by.” Lance drawled loudly. “Bring some snacks next time.”

The Galra gave no response, automatically resuming their trek down the hall after they'd done their job. Pidge held still until she could no longer hear their mechanical steps echoing off the walls, blowing out a long breath before leaning heavily back against the wall. She needed to use this time and think of a way out of here.

Lance moved away from the bars and situated himself next to Pidge against the wall. Pidge didn't move away when the side of his arm pressed against hers, secretly appreciating the bit of warmth it gave. She was tempted to use her bracelet again, just to hear everyone's voices a second time. But she didn't want to risk overusing it, especially since each usage would use up a lot of the limited energy it had. She needed to utilize it wisely. She'd call after she figured something out with Lance.

“You should get some sleep.” Lance said, his arm leaning just a bit more against hers. “Gotta have enough energy for when we bust out of here.”

It was a valid point, but Pidge shook her head. “Not tired.”

Lance sighed. “Yeah, me neither.” He sounded worn-out, any trace of sarcasm from before gone.

They sat in silence for a long time, the constant humming of the cell bars being their only other companion.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gooooood morning! Forgive me if some of the writing sounds choppy T__T

Lance didn't feel as tired as he should've been, given that he'd hardly slept that night. He might have dozed off for two hours at the most, sitting upright. That might have been a mistake, judging by the uncomfortable ache tugging at his neck and back. But it was fine. Pidge had fallen asleep shortly after they'd settled next to each other, her head drifting forward before falling sideways against his shoulder instead. He made an effort not to move after that and risk disrupt the rare amount of sleep she'd be getting. Given that she was probably going to be the one who thought up of an ingenious plan to get out of here, she needed all the energy she could get.

He leaned his head against the wall, blearily staring around him. What time was it? He wished they had a clock. Were the other paladins awake by now? Did they find a way around the barrier yet? Something tightened in his chest at the thought of everyone back on the ship. Quiznak, he couldn't believe he was getting all mushy now.

A brief image of Blue flashed through his mind, and the longing in his chest intensified. He'd been trying to reach her through his mind all night, but to no avail. Was it that dumb barrier's doing? The breach in connection felt like a large piece of himself was missing, and it was extremely unsettling. He wanted to see Blue. And everyone else.

Next to him, Pidge stirred, grumbling quietly before lifting her head off Lance's shoulder to rub at her eyes. She looked crabby and exhausted, something Lance could relate to. She'd worn a similar expression whenever they were dragged out of bed for morning drills or a late-night Galra attack.

“Sorry,” Pidge's voice was still heavy with sleep as she reached up to adjust her glasses. “Didn't mean to fall asleep on you.”

Lance grinned, carefully stretching out his arms. “It's fine, I used you as a pillow too. Did you dream of me?”

Pidge snorted. “Thankfully, no.” She glanced down at her wrist, where that glowing bracelet thing was. Lance was still impressed she'd made such a gadget, not that he doubted her abilities. “I thought a bit last night. On what we should do.”

Lance straightened up, the thought of escape bring a burst of excitement in his stomach. “Alright, let's hear your master plan.”

For a second, Pidge didn't speak, too busy glancing around the room again. Her brow was furrowed, almost worried. “You don't think they're listening in on us, do you?”

The thought brought Lance pause, and found himself squinting at the corners of the room as well. It wasn't a crazy idea, especially since they were prisoners that needed to be watched. But then again... “If they were listening, then they would've done something when they heard us contacting the others last night.”

Pidge nodded, face grim. “And if they have to send those mindless droids every so often to scan inside the cell, I'm betting they don't have cameras.” She blew out a breath, head falling lightly against the wall. “Alright, here's what I thought up.”

Pidge spoke quickly, almost saying everything in one breath. Her plan was to lure Xaglar into the cell itself and trap him inside before making a run for the control room before Xaglar managed to get back out. They'd try to take out as many droids they ran into on the way to delay his release. Quite frankly, it was extremely reckless.

Lance considered the idea, running it through his head. “How exactly are we gonna lure him into the cell, though? We can't just bat our eyes and say 'please?', you know.”

“I was thinking we provoke him. Just get him angry enough to take a step into the cell and catch him off guard.”

Yup, crazy plan. Had Shiro or Hunk been here, they would've shot it down the second they heard it. Keith, however, was probably hot-headed enough to agree to it. There were too many things that could go wrong, yet Lance couldn't bring himself to disagree. As risky as it was, there was still a chance they could pull it off.

“When are we doing this? The next time he stops by?” Lance whispered.

Pidge contemplated for a moment before giving a resolute nod.

So they waited. Lance didn't know how long, since they had no way of tracking the time, but it might have been an hour. Pidge kept fidgeting, glancing down at her wrist every so often. Lance could understand her unease, but it didn't make it any less comforting to watch her restlessly moving every 5 seconds. In the end, he got up from where he sat, trying to get the feeling back in his legs. A rush of cold air brushed against the part of his body that had been insulated by the ground, and he stopped himself from shivering. He inched his way back towards the bars, eyeing the faded glow emanating from the metal.

Pidge voiced a warning, sounding too much like a mother warning her son who was straying too far from her side in the middle of a crowded area. Lance waved a hand dismissively, already having come to a halt. He glared at the bars, almost wishing he could spot some sort of discrepancy that he could exploit. Then he blinked. What if the bars weren't even dangerous in the first place? What if Xaglar had just said that to make them think they had no chance of escape?

Lance glanced over his shoulder. Pidge was too busy fidgeting with her wrist again to notice him, but it didn't matter. He could test this himself. He just needed something small that he could throw. His hands subconsciously reached up towards the sad excuse for a shirt he had on, trying to rip off just enough to have some mass. The fabric tore almost too easily, coming apart at the lightest of pressure. He could swear paper was more durable than this. But he had enough, rolling a small piece in his hands until it formed a tiny ball. It left an ugly gap in the front of his shirt, but it didn't really matter. With a gentle flick of his hand, he sent it flying.

The second the fabric ball made contact with the pink light, a spark of electricity burst, bright and sudden. Lance reflexively took a step back, arms raised in front of him in a protective stance. Quick bursts of crackling filled his ear, almost like he was sitting in front of a campfire instead of an enemy cell. When he lowered them, he caught the last few bits of fabric disintegrating under the constant electric shocks. Well, so much for that idea.

“What are you doing?” Pidge whispered harshly, already half out of her seated position when Lance looked over. “Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed?”

“Okay, no.” Lance said, stepping further away from the bars for good measure. “I just thought maybe Xaglar was bluffing about the bars being dangerous. You know, like a placebo or something.”

Pidge was still frowning, although her eyes widened slightly at his thought. Then they narrowed again, looking more like a disapproving parent. “Well, we've established it's not a placebo now, so don't do that again. It's dangerous. We're lucky it didn't set off any alarms when the bars activated.”

“You're right, you're right.” Lance shuffled back towards the wall, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry.”

The calm didn't last long. Shortly after Lance sat back down, the sound of tapping metal resonated down the hall. He felt a rush of alarm, instantly stiffening and eyeing the empty space in front of the cell as the footsteps got louder. Next to him, Pidge did the same, even the sound of her breathing subdued. For a moment, Lance's mind was only flooded with panic. Xaglar had mentioned coming back for interrogations. That surely meant torture. It had to be him. There was no way he was letting them put Pidge through something like that.

“I see you two are already awake.” Xaglar's voice snapped him out of his haze, and Lance felt his breath catch in his throat. “Saves me the trouble.”

Lance didn't respond, too busy eyeing Xaglar and the four other droids flanking him. They all looked distorted through the odd screen-like projection the glowing light was encasing the bars in. A microscopic part of him hoped that maybe they were stopping by again just to make sure they were still detained. They'd make their idle threats and leave.

Xaglar stepped aside, turning towards the nearest droid on his right. “Bring out the Blue Paladin.”

Relief almost hit Lance like a wave, and he almost had the urge to laugh. It was him. Pidge was safe for now. He was so occupied celebrating this small victory he nearly missed the way Pidge suddenly burst to her feet and stood in front of him just as the cell door deactivated and slid open.

“No.” Pidge's voice was intense enough to echo through the tiny enclosure. “You're not taking him.”

The laugh escaping Xaglar's mouth was mocking, condescending. “That is not your decision, Green Paladin. Step aside while I'm feeling merciful.”

Pidge didn't budge. If anything, she even took a slight step forward. “I won't. Neither of us will tell you anything no matter what you do.”

With the bars deactivated, Lance could clearly see Xaglar now. He caught the flash of irritation that ran across the Galra's face, and he had to swallow the urge to tell Pidge to stop. This had been her plan, after all. To provoke him.

“You will stand down.” Xaglar growled, the grin no longer on his face. “Or the droids will make you move.”

“What, you're going to make your droids do all the dirty work?” Pidge's voice was so steady that if Lance hadn't been getting increasingly worried for her safety, he would've been impressed. “Guess Galra commanders aren't all that after all, if they have to hide behind their robots to get things done.”

Xaglar's eyes flashed with pure anger, and Lance almost wanted to shrink back further against the wall. This was going way past a provocation. He glanced at Pidge's back where she was still firmly planted in between him and the Galra, ready to get up and pull her back.

The droids moved before he did, one ready to step inside the cell when Xaglar forcefully pulled it back and out of the way. He took its place in front of the entryway, a look of overflowing hostility on his face. “You're right. I'll deal with you myself.”

When Xaglar stepped inside the cell, Lance belatedly realized that Pidge's plan had half-worked. He was inside, but the droids were still crowding the opening and blocking them from escaping. That wasn't the problem, though. The Galra was already inside the cell, towering over Pidge. And he was reaching for something at his waist.

Lance moved the instant Pidge took a step backwards, his legs catapulting him off the ground. He no longer focused on what Xaglar was grabbing for—he needed to reach Pidge first. And he did, yanking her shoulder back and spinning around to hug her against his chest, leaving only his back exposed to Xaglar's rage.

A blinding pain spread across Lance's back, the force of it making his knees buckle. It was so sudden he didn't even have the time to yell, only a strangled gasp making its way out of his throat. Pidge, who was still limp with surprise at Lance's movement, wasn't able to support his weight and went down with him. She was sandwiched between him and ground now, and he was slightly thankful she wasn't resisting.

“Move aside, Blue Paladin.” Xaglar spat out. “This is not meant for you. You will have your turn in due time.” His voice sounded muffled in Lance's ears, head still ringing from the blow. It was almost impossible to think clearly.

“I'll take my chances here.” Lance choked out, tightening his grip when he felt Pidge slowly start to push against him. “You're really planning on whipping a young child? That's low, even for Galra like you.”

Xaglar barked out another laugh. “Insolent beings. To think you would needlessly injure yourself for another. How pathetic. Have it your way.”

Another blow, this time even more precise. Lance's fists reflexively clenched in Pidge's hair and the cloth on her back, fighting to stop himself making any noise. He wouldn't give Xaglar that satisfaction. Although it was getting increasingly difficult to keep quiet and maintain his grip on Pidge, who was now struggling an enormous amount.

“Lance. Lance!” Pidge sounded far off, which was strange given that she was speaking right next to his ear. Her voice was high, shrill with panic. “Let _go_ , he's hurting you!”

The third strike was bad. He felt like his skin was being ripped apart. But he felt a flitting sense of triumph when he managed to keep himself from making noise again. Pidge shoved against his chest again, moving with an urgency that increased with each hit. She was yelling something again, but Lance couldn't focus enough to hear it.

“Don't. Move.” Lance hissed between breaths, hoping his voice was stable and loud enough for Pidge to her. She must have, because for a second, she did hold still. It didn't last longer than that though, and she continued to shove against him with renewed strength. She was pretty strong, but Lance was stronger. He wasn't letting Pidge get injured, not if he could help it. She was too vital to the team, and was someone he considered family.

The fourth and fifth strike came within seconds of each other, and this time Lance couldn't stop a groan from escaping. Quiznak, it hurt so much. Pidge was speaking again, and he struggled to pick out her words. “Lance, I swear if you don't let go of me— _stop it!_ ” She was yelling at Xaglar now. “You wanted to punish me right? So leave him alone! Take me for interrogations then! Stop hitting him!”

The sixth strike was too much. Lance cried out at the impact, burying his face in Pidge's hair in a desperate attempt to contain it. He could've sworn he felt the ground rumble then, filling the room with uneasy tremors. Was it just him?

“What is it?” Xaglar bellowed, and Lance realized he hadn't been dreaming it up. Something was shaking the ship.

“The barrier is taking fire from the enemy.” He heard one of the droids speaking, monotonous and brief. “Repeated collisions from what are identified as the Lions of Voltron.”

Pidge had finally gone still once the hits stopped, most likely trying to listen to the report like Lance was. He had the urge to laugh in the midst of it all, feeling a burst of relief that the others were still trying whatever they could to get them out. But everything hurt too much for him to laugh, much less breathe. It felt like needles were stabbing his back, the pain lingering and prominent.

Xaglar muttered something before he heard the unmistakeable sound of the cell door sliding shut. His grip loosened just slightly when the humming noise from the activated bars filled the room again. He was leaving? Of course he was, he was probably making sure the Lions wouldn't somehow make it through the barrier. Guess it wasn't impossible to take down after all, if Xaglar had to go himself as a precaution.

Someone was shaking his shoulders, gentle but insistent. Pidge's voice floated in again, this time less distant and muffled. “Lance, you can let go. They're gone. Can you hear me? Please I just... I need to check your wounds.”

Gone. They were gone. The thought hit Lance like a train, and he felt the energy drain out of him in one rush. His hands loosened before he slumped onto his side, breaths coming out in ragged pants. He was tired, so tired. His back stung, but it felt numb at the same time. Was that even possible?

He saw Pidge scramble to her feet before disappearing from his line of vision. Hands were suddenly touching his back, incredibly careful as they moved to lift the raggedy Galra fabric and skin suit up. She sucked in a harsh breath once he felt the fabric clutching at his back disappear.

“Lance...” Pidge sounded horrified, and he couldn't blame her. If it looked as bad as it felt, he didn't want to see it. “You _idiot_ , why did you do that?! It was my fault, my stupid idea, why did you butt in?”

Lance couldn't understand why Pidge was even asking a question like that. Did she expect him to just sit there and watch her put her life in danger trying to protect him? Pidge was the genius hacker on the team, the mastermind who would be finding them a way out of here, and he needed to keep her safe. She was important, both to Voltron and to him. If this was the only way he could be useful to her in their current situation, he'd gladly take it.

“Better me than you.” Lance finally said, a weak chuckle escaping after. He grimaced when the movement sent tiny waves of pain running across his back again, glad Pidge couldn't see his face from this angle.

“Shut up, _shut up_.” Pidge snapped with surprising acidity. “If you say something like that again, I'm going to be super mad at you.” He felt her slowly pulling the fabric back over his back, something he was grateful for. It was getting pretty cold.

“I couldn't let the brain of the team get injured.” Lance's eyes were starting to feel heavy, sleep tugging at the edges of his mind. “I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I have nothing to lose anyways.”

“I told you to stop talking like that.” Pidge said, voice hard. “You're as important to the team as anyone else.”

That was a lie. Lance already knew he wasn't on equal footing with the others in terms of capability. Sharpshooter or not, he felt like he was always looking at their backs marching ahead, him always a few steps behind. It wasn't a good feeling, but he never brought it up. He was a Paladin—there was no excuse for him to be focusing on anything other than training and creating a deeper bond with Blue.

His chest ached at the thought of Blue. He missed feeling her presence in the back of his mind, always lingering and comforting. He wanted to sit in the cockpit and just talk to Blue and let her show those incredible images again. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to find her from here. Sleep felt like a blanket covering his head, and he let his eyes flutter shut. Maybe he could reach her in his dreams.

Pidge's voice suddenly cut through the silence, and Lance's eyes snapped back open in surprise. He blinked slowly, trying to focus on the silhouette now in front of him. Pidge was bent close to his face, both of her hands grabbing either side of his so she could look clearly at him.

“Lance.” Pidge sounded almost on the verge of tears, which was shocking enough to snap him out of his daze. Hearing Pidge this emotional was something he didn't encounter often. “Can you stay awake a bit? Are you losing consciousness?”

He let out a breath, trying to shaking his head while his face was sandwiched between her hold. “Nah, I... I'm just sleepy, I think. Don't kill me off just yet.”

Pidge was breathing hard, staring so intently Lance was sure she could probably read every single one of his thoughts by that point. She looked like she was running a bunch of calculations in her head, as if she was trying to figure out the answer to an extremely difficult coding issue. It was a familiar sight that had him relaxing to a slight degree.

“Okay.” Pidge said, giving a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. “Hold on.” She readjusted her grip on Lance's head, scooting around so that when she removed her hands, his head could rest on her lap. Had this been any other situation, Lance would've sworn he was hallucinating it all. There was no way Pidge would ever be caught dead in front of the team or anywhere doing something like this. Especially with _him_.

“Uh... Pidge?” He'd already raised the question, but Lance had to admit he felt pretty comfortable lying there. He was glad she wasn't making him move, though. His back was still throbbing, and just thinking about it seemed to make it hurt more.

Pidge laid a hand on his hair, a few of her fingers reflexively carding through a few strands. The action had Lance's chest tightening with longing again, this time of home. “Just let me do this. It calms me down right now.” She said firmly. “Your back isn't bleeding that much, but... It still looks bad, so I'll keep watch for a bit.”

Lance grinned wanly. “Pidge nursing poor little me? Never thought this day would come.”

“You and me both, man.” Pidge went silent for a moment, although her hand still moved gently through his hair. “Did you mean it when you said you were better off getting injured instead of me?”

Lance's eyes fell shut again, but he stubbornly shoved away the beginning tendrils of sleep. Not yet. “Of course I did. You're irreplaceable to Voltron.”

“So are you.” Pidge pressed, her hand stiffening when Lance let out a soft snort. “I'm serious. I know I tease you a lot, but I think you're a vital aspect of the team. We wouldn't function as well without you.”

“You guys would be fine once you found another Blue Paladin to replace me. I don't have much going for me in terms of contributing skills, if you haven't noticed.” Lance couldn't believe he was saying this out loud. He never wanted to hear himself saying it, because it only felt like confirmation that it was true. Pidge would agree, he knew she would.

Pidge had all but stopped playing with his hair, to Lance's disappointment. It had felt really nice. “Yeah, I _wouldn't_ notice, since it's not true.” There was almost an angry undertone to her voice now. “You're one of the best shots on this team and—I'll admit—you're capable when you need to be. Sure, you might be reckless at times, but so is Keith. And you both still perform your duties well. You can't be replaced that easily. And I know everyone else on the team could agree to that. Including the Princess and Coran.”

Deep down, Lance had always been waiting to hear some sort of direct praise or affirmation that he really did belong on this team. And here Pidge was, giving exactly that. But somehow, he didn't feel any different when she said it. Maybe the pain and exhaustion was messing with his head, or maybe he just couldn't bring himself to believe her. He was still grateful to hear Pidge say it, though. He really was.

“Pidge...” Lance mumbled, rapidly losing the battle when sleep began to overtake his senses again. “Really tired... Can I take a quick nap?”

Pidge only hesitated for a second before responding. “Yeah... If something seems wrong with you, though, I'm waking you back up.”

That was all Lance needed, and he grinned sleepily even though she couldn't see it. “Thanks, buddy.”

He started to relax, wanting to leave behind all the pain and confusion and sorrow he was getting bombarded with for a bit. Distantly, he felt Pidge's hand resume combing through his hair, and he finally let himself drift off.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the most peaceful birthdays I've had LOL literally just been lying in bed all day except for when I went downstairs to eat ^o^ I love being lazy though so this is the best present I could get tbh

Pidge was angry. She was furious. How dare they? To Lance? He was the last person to deserve something that cruel. She couldn't even stay mad at him. He'd always been selfless, she knew that. But it didn't make her feel any better that this happened, that was for sure.

At least he was getting some rest. He seemed to have knocked out mere seconds after he'd mumbled his last sentence, the short and ragged pattern of his breathing finally smoothing out into something a bit more peaceful. She kept watching the rise and fall of his chest, waiting for any irregularities or signs that he was getting worse. But he seemed fine... As fine as he could be in his state.

His back looked bad, though. Thankfully, Xaglar had been forced to stop before he broke too much skin, so the bleeding had been minimal. But the damage was still obvious. Angry red lines marked almost his entire back, some already looking like welts while others cried blood. It made her want to cry herself, but it also made her indescribably angry. She wanted to destroy Xaglar. She wanted to tear this dumb ship down until nothing was left. And she wanted to go back home and get Lance treated.

Another particularly violent tremor hit the room, and Pidge scrambled to keep Lance stable, one hand still buried in his head and the other reaching for his shoulder. He didn't wake up, to her relief. She glanced at the ceiling, wishing she could see what she knew was happening. The Lions were still targeting the barrier. Was Green there? Would she be moving without her to pilot? Her frown deepened, an ache beginning to start in her chest. She wanted to see Green, wanted to get out of this horrible place and forget it all.

Pidge was almost tempted to contact again through her bracelet, but decided against it. Everyone was busy combatting the Galra ship, and she didn't want to distract them. Especially when she still didn't have any good news to share. She needed to find a way to the control room first.

Lance grumbled, shifting his head a bit on her lap. Pidge instinctively began running her hand across his hair again, willing to do anything that could make him feel even a little bit better. He looked a lot more peaceful while sleeping, although she could still see his face scrunching in discomfort once in a while.

She sat there for a long time, playing with Lance's hair and keeping him still whenever the cell began to shake. She found comfort in the tremors. They almost reminded her of a lion's rumble, reassuring her that they were out there and that she wasn't alone. But soon, there was nothing but stillness. No matter how long she waited, there were no more disruptions. Her stomach clenched uneasily at the revelation, but she forced herself to stay calm. The barrier really must be difficult to get through. Even still, they weren't giving up and were trying their best, so she had to as well.

When she heard footsteps coming down the hall again, she knew better than to panic this time. She wasn't trying to escape yet, not until Lance was feeling a bit more stable. As long as they focused on her this time, she would handle it.

Xaglar wore a smug expression once he stepped into view, flanked only by two droids this time. Pidge wanted to punch him in the face. She hoped Lance wouldn't wake up until they were gone, using her arms to shield his face as much as possible.

“Have you learned your lesson?” Xaglar taunted, fully focused on Pidge this time. “It's your turn now, Green Paladin. I suggest you step outside peacefully before I have to act again.”

Pidge purposefully stayed silent, even though she'd told herself not to unnecessarily provoke him this time around. Moving as carefully as possible, she maneuvered herself out from under Lance's head, gently laying the side of his head against the ground. Lance stirred only slightly, immediately curling inwards a bit at the shift in position. As long as he stayed on his side and not his back, she was satisfied.

The droids were as ruthless as usual, stiffly pushing her forward with guns aimed directly at her back. Xaglar kept that irritating smirk on his face before turning and leading the way. He probably thought she'd finally been intimidated enough to subdue herself, which was laughable. She had no intention of making anything easy for them until she and Lance broke out of here.

The walk was short, not long enough for her to get a better scan of the ship. When she stepped into the new room, she drew back at the brightness. It was completely white, eerily plain and empty. Not even a chair.

“Take the Paladin to the other side.” Xaglar ordered, giving her one last look before stepping back out the door with the other droid. The remaining robot moved instantly, grabbing at her upper arm with surprising force and practically dragging her across the room.

“Hey, I'll walk on my own!” Pidge snapped, trying and failing to tug free. The droid came to a halt in the middle of the room, raising a mechanical hand before punching at what was seemingly thin air. Pidge ceased her struggling for a moment, blinking in surprise at the motion. She could swear the air where the droid was tapping was almost _rippling_ , like something palpable was actually there. An invisible barrier?

She heard a rumbling whir, like something was shutting down, before the droid stiffly pushed her forward while releasing its grip. She stumbled forward a few feet, whirling around when she heard another hum fill the room. The droid was already out the door as it closed shut with a final thud.

For a moment, she stood there, confused. Were they just putting her in isolation? She hesitated for a brief moment before tentatively putting out a hand in front of her, aimlessly feeling around. Her hand hit something solid and she jerked it back, startled. There was a transparent sort of wall separating her from half of the room. Was this just quarantine? Sticking her into a room until she felt like going insane?

“Before we start, I'll give you one chance, Green Paladin.” Xaglar's voice suddenly filled the room with extreme clarity, so loud and prominent she could've sworn he was only speaking in her head. “Tell us about the Lions and your headquarters.”

“I won't. Keep me in here as long as you want, nothing will change.” Pidge spoke calmly, settling down to the ground and crossing her arms. This was fine. She could handle this.

Xaglar chuckled, sounding so close she resisted the urge to shudder. “As you wish.”

It was silent for a long time after that, quiet to the point of being unsettling. Pidge could see how some could feel themselves going crazy in this sort of environment. The blinding white background coupled with the complete loss of sound felt jarring. Almost like she was stuck in some sort of terrible limbo. She felt the urge to walk around, tap her foot, knock on that weird wall, anything to remind herself that she was still on solid ground. But it was bearable. She was used to being alone, cooped up in her room for hours at a time while she focused on a big project. As long as she kept herself distracted, she would be fine.

But when she heard the door slide open again, she felt like the air had been punched out of her chest. A droid reentered the room, half-carrying and half-dragging someone into the room. _Lance._

She was already off the ground and running against the transparent barrier as the droid dumped him onto the open ground. He caught himself before face-planting onto the floor, arms trembling as they struggled to maintain his weight. A burst of panic gripped at her throat when she realized how much worse his condition seemed to have gotten.

“Lance, Lance!” She was screaming, wildly wondering if her voice could be heard past the wall. Her hands were pounding against the obstacle, desperate to knock it down and make it through.

He must have been able to hear her, since his eyes immediately met hers. He looked exhausted, sweat already beading his forehead and brow. “Pidge.” His voice was barely audible, broken and weak, but she could hear him. She could hear him. She almost wished she couldn't.

“Are you still not willing to talk?” Xaglar's voice again, smug and taunting.

Pidge could hardly think. This was wrong, this wasn't anything she'd expected. How was she supposed to approach this? What would Shiro do? She couldn't watch Lance get hurt again, she _wouldn't_.

“Leave...” Pidge struggled to find her voice, finally forcing it back out, her eyes never leaving Lance's. “Leave him alone. You said you were interrogating me, not him.”

“Oh, don't worry.” Xaglar chuckled. “You will be the one answering the questions.”

Almost as if in response, the droid reached over and heaved Lance back up by the arm before giving him a hard strike in the stomach. He choked out a cry, doubling over as he crashed into the ground. Pidge felt her arms moving again, pounding at the wall until she could feel bruises already starting to form. It didn't matter, and the droid kept delivering blow after blow to Lance's stomach, chest, side, legs. She might have been yelling, she couldn't tell over Xaglar's voice filling her mind, ordering her to reveal her information before it was too late.

And she wanted to. She was so so close to spilling everything, just so that thing could get away from Lance. But she couldn't. She wouldn't be able forgive herself for that, knew Lance wouldn't be able to forgive her for that. But she didn't know how much more she could stomach this before she broke.

“Pidge.” Lance's voice was raw from screaming, full of anguish and fear. “Please. Just tell him everything. It hurts.”

Pidge didn't move, still heavily leaning against the wall with her forearms, fists throbbing and numb. Her breathing was too heavy, too irregular, but she didn't care. She stood there, watching Lance and listening to his plead for her to give in.

Something felt wrong. Maybe she was going crazy from the stress, but something felt off with Lance. The way he spoke, the way he looked at her, it all gave her a weird feeling of uncertainty. It was almost like looking at a slightly distorted version of the guy she knew. A stranger, but not quite. Not too long ago, Lance had taken horrific whippings without a sound, unyielding for her sake. But now... It was almost the opposite.

No, she couldn't think Lance was acting unnatural for breaking under physical torture. But what if... She tore her eyes away from Lance's figure, staring at her feet as she tried not to throw up. What if this was just an illusion? Something to push her to the limits and make her confess? Did the Galra even have such abilities? She couldn't believe she was even thinking this right now, but even the slight possibility of it had her clinging to the thought like a lifeline.

She drew a trembling breath in before looking back up. Xaglar had gone silent, and the droid was still as well, standing ominously over Lance's trembling figure on the ground. He was curled on his side, and she almost stepped back when she saw the blood dripping from his mouth. This couldn't be an illusion, it looked too real. The crushing thought of it had tears stinging her eyes.

“Pidge.” Lance whispered again, eyes almost crazed with desperation. “Just tell them. Tell them what they want to know.”

There it was again. That unsettling feeling in her stomach. She let her arms slide down to her sides as she straightened back up, clenching her fists to keep them from shaking. Seeing Lance like this was frightening, so frightening.

“You're not real.” She finally said, letting the words spill out before she could swallow them. It was a terrible gamble, she knew. Even to her ears, it was absurd. But her mind was too convoluted, too overwhelmed and she had no other choice than to default onto her gut feelings. “You're not... You're not Lance.”

Lance's eyes widened just slightly, now full of disbelief. “What... What are you saying?” He sounded so dumbfounded and so like Lance that even she began to second-guess herself. “Why,” he struggled to upright himself while speaking, only for his elbow to slip and send him back onto his side. “Why are you thinking like this right now?”

The more he spoke, the more certain Pidge became. Everything about him started to feel foreign. She wanted to ask that if Lance were so desperate for her to tell Xaglar everything, why couldn't he simply say it instead? It was a cruel and heartless question, but it was the only thought ringing in her head. Lance knew as much, if not more, than her regarding the Lions and the bond with its paladins. The only possible reason he could be pushing her to talk was because this Lance didn't know anything. He wasn't real. He wasn't.

“Pidge!” Lance was yelling again, trembling as he rolled onto his stomach, never taking his eyes off hers. “You gotta believe me. I'm real. Please, just...” She stayed silent, and a flash of anger seemed to cross his face. She might have imagined it. “This is what he wants, Pidge! He's trying to turn us against each other! Listen to me! Please!”

Pidge felt like she was frozen in ice, standing there as she watched Lance yell and plead. His eyes, his hair, his nose, his mouth, _everything seemed so real_. Was she actually tricking herself? She felt sick to her stomach. She felt her breath catch when the droid finally moved again, reaching to pull Lance back to his feet for another hit. What if he was real? Her eyes moved to take in almost every detail she could on him, from the tips of his fingers to the tears in his clothes to the bottom of his feet. He was real, he wasn't, he was real, _he wasn't he wasn't he wasn't._

She noticed something then, when Lance was fully pulled upright, a bloodied and bruised mess. His legs trembled violently to support his weight, his arms limp under the droid's hold. She couldn't look at his face for too long, the bruises coloring his face and blood painting his skin too much for her to handle. But his shirt was what she focused on, having caught her attention from the beginning.

It was whole. Rather, there were no intentional tears in it. As thin and weak as it was, the garb looked as complete as it did when Pidge and Lance had first received it from Xaglar. It was missing the unnatural hole Lance had made when he formed his dumb cloth ball and threw it at the gate. If Xaglar really did have Lance brought over here, she doubted he would have given him a new set of clothes to change into beforehand. Why would he? If this really was an illusion or false projection, his shirt was whole because they simply didn't know.

Lance went crashing down to the ground again, and she startled at the impact. No matter what she thought, the sight alone was enough to freeze her in her tracks. He was crying now, begging for her to talk.

The droid moved again, and Pidge made one of the hardest decisions of her life.

She spun around and pressed her back against the wall, sliding down as she plugged her ears. Even still, she heard Lance's muffled screams struggling to enter her mind, and she pressed harder.

Pidge sat like that for what felt like too long, constantly bombarded with the overwhelming urge to spin back around and agree to reveal everything. The overwhelming thought that she was wrong, that it really was Lance and that she was _letting him die_ made her want to scream and shut down.

But soon enough, it felt silent. She didn't feel any thuds shaking the floor, no vibrations from Lance's yelling threatening to slip past her fingers, leaving her with only a steady ringing in her head. Her arms and hands felt stiff from pressing so hard against her head, and she had force herself to relax. As slightly as she could, she loosened one finger to let a bit more noise in. Still silent. She gave it a few more seconds before she finally uncurled herself and turned back around.

They were gone. Both Lance and the droid. Even the small patches of blood Lance had coughed up were gone. It was enough to knock the breath out of her, the realization of it all. Had it really been a trick?

The door slowly slid open, and Xaglar reappeared. His face was dark, looking both frustrated but unfazed. He marched up until he was within inches of the barrier—she had no idea how he knew where it was—and it took all of her will not to reflexively back away.

“Take the Paladin back.” Xaglar spat, stepping aside for the droid to release the barrier. A grin stretched on his face as it stepped in and dragged her back out towards the door. “Don't worry. We have plenty of other tactics to test on you. This was simply the beginning.”

Pidge couldn't even find fear at his words, only filled with the thought that she had to _see Lance see Lance see Lance_. She needed to confirm it with her own eyes or else she'd go insane. For a split second, she panicked at the possibility that she would be taken to another empty cell. They'd be separated now, no longer able to know if the other was alive. The prospect was so mind-numbing that she let the droid forcefully guide her, gun trained on her back. She had to see.

In the distance, though, she caught the familiar pink glow of the bars. Her legs tensed with the need to sprint towards it. But she remembered the droid and its gun behind her, ready to shoot at a moment's notice. So as agitating as it was, she maintained her current gait, her eyes trained only on the illuminated area.

They reached the cell, the bars deactivated, and she saw him. He was already standing close to the door, so close he might have gotten electrocuted had the bars been on. But it was Lance, alive and whole and wearing that stupid ripped up shirt.

His eyes widened at the same time as hers, ready to say something before the door slid open and Pidge was shoved—again—through the entryway. She toppled forward straight into Lance, who instantly opened his arms to catch her before the force of it sent him stumbling backwards onto his butt. The door slammed shut again, but she didn't even care. _It was Lance_.

“Pidge, Pidge.” Lance sounded terrified, his hands gripping her shoulders almost painfully. “Quiznak, you're shaking so much. What did they do to you?”

Pidge desperately grabbed his arms, wanting to make sure this wasn't another illusion she couldn't reach. He felt real, he sounded real. “I thought they were going to kill you.” She whispered, tears finally overflowing and spilling down her face. “Everything felt so real.”

“What?” Lance looked so confused and worried that Pidge felt a knot in her stomach unravel at the sight. This was Lance. “Pidge, tell me what happened.” He spoke as gently as he could, his hold on her shoulders loosening by a slight degree.

She took one hand away from his arm to wipe at her eyes, futilely trying to stop the tears. “They... They put me in some kind of empty room. There was a barrier I couldn't pass, and then they brought you in.” Lance's brow furrowed with confusion, clearly not following. “It wasn't you. Was some kind of illusion or magic. But I didn't realize at first. And a droid was there and it was... _beating_ you and you were yelling and begging for me to make it stop and tell Xaglar everything about Voltron, and--” Her voice caught on a sob, and she took a few breaths to steady herself. “--And I didn't know what to do. Watching them do that to you while I could do nothing was... I couldn't...”

Lance's grip tightened briefly before he pulled Pidge against his chest, one hand cradling her head and the other rubbing circles on her back. It almost felt like before, when he'd been shielding her from Xaglar's wrath. Pidge didn't resist this time, too weak and exhausted to pull back even if she wanted to. If anything, her hands moved to grab at the front of his shirt, clenching urgently.

“I'm sorry.” Lance's voice was soft but clear. “I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Pidge. I wish I could've taken your place. I swear.”

“No.” Pidge spoke into his shirt, but her words carried easily. “You're not allowed to say that. I don't want you getting hurt again.”

“And I could say the same for you.” Lance said. “Seeing you like this hurts me more than you realize, you know.” The hand on her back paused momentarily as a thought hit him. “How did you figure it out?”

“What?”

“That it wasn't me. You said you didn't realize at first. Does that mean you did later on?”

Pidge blew out a breath, forehead still cushioned against his shoulder. Her tears were slowing, although she could still feel the heaviness in her chest and the ache in her throat. This was why she hated crying. It made her feel so icky. “Yeah. It was just... Instinct. The way you were talking felt off. And you were missing the tear in your shirt from your placebo experiment.”

Lance laughed, the vibrations rumbling against her head. These vibrations felt comforting though, unlike the ones from that room. “I expected nothing less from you. Analytical and hawk-eyed as ever.”

“This isn't the time to be laughing.” Pidge sniffled, albeit half-heartedly. To be honest, she liked hearing him laugh. It helped her relax.

Lance quieted down almost immediately. “You're right.” He said, hugging her a bit tighter. “Sorry, you've been through a lot. You did so well. I'm glad you're back. When I woke up, you weren't there and I...” His body shuddered as he took in a breath. “I got so scared. I thought I wouldn't see you again.”

Pidge pressed a little harder against Lance when she realized how he must have felt, waking up to an empty cell, cold and hurting and alone. He hadn't been in any better position that she had, and it sucked. Her mind was still foggy, but talking to Lance helped her think a bit more coherently. “How's your back?”

Lance's hand was moving again, rubbing at her back in big, warm circles. “It's manageable.”

For just a few more seconds, Pidge let herself indulge in Lance's comforting before she gently extracted herself. She was drained, both her mind and body feeling so empty she just wanted to lie down and sleep it off. But that was for once they were back home and safe on the ship. Not now.

“I'll think of another way to get us out of here.” She said, blinking hard to clear her vision. “I just need a small opportunity, and I have to contact Coran again to tell him to be ready--”

Lance grabbed at her arm and she immediately stopped, slightly breathless. He watched her steadily, eyes softening when she finally looked straight at him. “Buddy, you need to rest a bit.” His grip tightened when she started to shake her head. “You're still shaking, Pidge. I've seen you exhausted after your allnighters on the ship, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull a Shiro and order you to sleep .” He leaned back, stretching his legs out and patting his thigh. “Here. Pillow.”

It was too tempting, and Pidge didn't have the energy to refuse. She was already moving, curling up and nestling against Lance's leg like he'd done once. Sleep was an overwhelming force, but the wariness seemed to wire her into staying awake.

“I can't sleep...” She mumbled, although her eyes were already falling shut. “What if they come back during then? They might take you to that room...”

A hand patted at her head, light and gentle. “Don't worry about that right now. Besides, you said it was fake, right? Just a vision or something. I'll handle it. Go to sleep.”

Sleep prodded at her again, and she finally gave in.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol at my diminishing word count T___T this kinda meh, sorry :c

Pidge woke up sore, her limbs aching from sleeping against the hard surface. She rolled gingerly onto her back, blinking the sleep from her eyes as she felt her arms and legs come back to life. At least her head felt better. Thanks to the little rest she got, the thoughts in her head seemed to coalesce more than before. Her stomach, on the other hand, was a different story. How long had it been since she'd last eaten? Or had water? Remembering her hunger sparked a bit of irritation as she pushed herself upright. She glanced around for Lance and found nothing but an empty cell.

Everything in her body went rigid, the alarm hitting her like an electric shock. Lance was gone. They must have taken him. Her mind was going blank again, overridden with the terrifying realization that he could be going through the same thing she had.

She needed to calm down. Slowly, she forced herself to take a deep breath. In. Out. She couldn't afford to be panicking right now. Not when they had Lance. She needed to do something and escape while Xaglar was outside of the control room.

She turned around, crawling the few feet back towards the wall so she could sit against it again. Her fingers instinctively felt for the familiar strand, tapping out the pattern like it was second nature. After the first successful call she'd made after they got captured, she always found herself unknowingly tapping out the commands against anything—her knee, the floor, the wall. The urge to call the ship and hear everyone's voices overcame her constantly. The soft glow of the screen illuminated her vision as the code she'd spent so much time on filled the small square. Please answer, please answer.

After what felt like an eternity, the screen blipped out of sight.

“Coran?” Pidge could barely contain her voice, the situation too serious. “Shiro? Anyone?”

Distantly, she heard shuffling and maybe what was a crash before someone was yelling. “Pidge! Oh, thank the stars, we were getting quite worried since you'd been out of contact for so long!”

She swallowed, trying to order her thoughts so she didn't waste too much time. To be honest, she wasn't sure how much power this thing had left. She'd never had the chance to test it for a prolonged period of time. “Yeah, we... I'm gonna try to get into the control room soon. When the barrier drops, it would be great if the others could come with the Lions. The crew is mostly comprised of droids, so they're easy to dispatch.”

“Understood,” Coran seemed to hear the urgency in her voice, and he matched his tone to hers. “Shiro just arrived, please speak with him. I will go update the Princess.”

There was a brief mumble of words before there was more shuffling. “Pidge, is everything alright?” Shiro's voice was as steady as ever, befitting of the leader. Hearing his voice loosened some of the tension in her shoulders, but just slightly. “Coran said you're going to take down the barrier? How?”

“I'm gonna sneak out somehow. I have to. Just trust me.”

Shiro went silent for a few seconds before he spoke again. “I do. I trust you. Are you and Lance okay?”

No, they weren't. Especially not Lance. “We will be, once we get out.” She said carefully. It wasn't the best answer, but it was all she could manage without outright lying. “Just keep an eye out. I don't know how long the barrier will stay down if I do manage to disable it.”

“...Okay.” Shiro's voice sounded strained, clearly more worried at her vague response. “The others are already in their Lions and out watching the ship. I was about to go join them before Coran paged me here. We'll be waiting.” He took a breath. “Be careful. Please.”

“I will.” Pidge whispered, hating that she had to end the call. She wanted to keep him on the line until both of them could finally see Shiro in person again. But she couldn't risk using up all the power this thing had right now, in case something went terribly wrong again. Before she could hesitate more, she was already inputting the code to disconnect the call.

The bracelet powered down, and Pidge stared at it longingly for just a few seconds before getting to her feet. No one had come by yet. For this to work, a patrol needed to pass here while Xaglar was still busy. She went to the furthest side of the wall, inching as close as she could near the bars. And then she crouched down, getting herself as small as possible. After that, it was a waiting game.

It was hard to keep track of time in the cell, but Pidge did her best. From what she'd seen, the droids walked by what felt like every 30 minutes, pausing and scanning the cell briefly before they went on their way. Falling asleep had skewed the internal schedule she'd been using to guess their next round, so she had no choice but to wait.

Thankfully, it wasn't too long before she heard the robotic clanking of the droids as they marched their rhythmic steps. She'd never thought she would be so eager to hear Galra actively coming her way. She saw two of them walk into view from where she was crouching, their figures blurred and distorted through the pink hue. When she heard the familiar buzz of the scanner activating, she let the muscles in her legs tense up, ready to move at a second's notice.

She'd noticed something whenever the droids did their routine scan. It was brief, just a simple wave of rays that hardly stretched the span of the cell. Until then, it had been adequate enough to do just that, since Pidge and Lance had always been near the center or within range of those light rays whenever they passed. Occasionally, though, the scan started a few feet away from the wall before continuing normally and cutting off as soon as they registered her and Lance inside. It might be a simple technological glitch, or maybe some weird robot version of efficiency, but Pidge was banking on using that weak point to her advantage.

When the faded green rays swept across the room, she hadn't been able to tell if it had passed over her at first. Even if it did, it must have not caught her. She watched the rays slowly reach a few inches in front of the opposite wall before it cut off. There was a weird humming noise she hadn't heard before, and then a single error sound.

The droids stepped stiffly towards the side until they were directly in front of her, the error sound beeping again. If they were deactivating the cell, she had to move fast. She bent forward, hands positioned in front of her as if she were a sprinter waiting for the pistol to sound.

With a final hum, the electricity coursing through the bars faded out before the door slid open.

Pidge rocketed forward when one of the droids stepped inside, her attention focused solely on the gun slack in its grip. She nearly tackled it to the ground, and even though it managed to catch itself at the last moment, she was able to pry out the gun from its hand. Without even taking a time to think, she whipped around and shot while her body was still flying forward. A gamma blast hit the droid square in the stomach, sending it to the ground in sparks.

The other droid was already moving to shoot at her, but the first critical shot didn't quite make it. It was difficult to hit small moving target, after all. Pidge wasn't as good a shot as Lance was, but she wasn't aiming for precision. As long as it hit the droid, she was satisfied. And she did, this time shooting the second one near the upper chest before it went down.

She caught herself before she crashed into the wall, breathing heavily. The gun trembled in her grip from half exhilaration and half shock at the realization that she actually pulled it off. She could leave.

She blinked. _She could get out_. Without another thought, she side-stepped the fallen robots and dashed out the door, keeping the gun on her for good measure. The second droid might have had enough time to send out an emergency signal, so she needed to move fast. Her mind raced to remember what route they'd taken when first being led from the control room the cell, but everything looked too similar.

Turn after turn, it became more obvious that she was completely lost. But she kept running in the hopes that she'd find some sort of familiar landmark. She went towards what felt like the front and center of the ship, which was most likely where the control room was located. Any brighter corridors, more secured hallways, those were the ones she took.

When she spotted a Galra droid walking up ahead, she was almost tempted to reflexively shoot it before it noticed her. She stopped herself, backing around the corner she'd just turned and waited a few seconds before opting to trail it. If there were more Galra around here, she must be near the main area.

This was the first droid she'd encountered outside of the cell, and it moved with relative calm. An alarm must not have gotten out, which was great for her. But how far should she follow it? She had no idea, but it was the only lead she had. So she kept moving as stealthily and nimbly as she could.

After one final turn, the droid pushed a button and entered a room, the doors whooshing shut behind him as she slowed to a stop next to it. There weren't any windows to peek into, but Pidge felt relatively sure this was the room she was looking for. The problem was dealing with however many droids that could be inside already. If there were too many and she got overpowered, she would've escaped for nothing.

There was no time to think, though, once a group of droids rounded the hall up ahead. She was too slow to move, and it was clear they noticed her once they began running, guns poised. No choice now. She hit the button, hearing the door slide open before she dashed inside.

In the midst of it all, she managed to count only 3 Galra inside before she wildly shot at the closest one. Her shots were haphazard, one catching the droid in the leg and the other finally getting it in the stomach again. She didn't gather herself in time to find the positions of the other two before an returning shot grazed her side.

It burned. _Quiznak_ , it burned. She stumbled behind a pillar, hissing out a breath between her teeth. Her vision had blurred at the sudden onset of tears stinging at her eyes, and she quickly wiped them off. Focus. Take the two out before the others reached the room.

She peeked around the pillar and ducked back when another shot passed by before countering with her own barrage of offense. Luckily enough, the remaining two had been within ample distance of each other, and out of the six shots, five of them hit both targets enough to disable them.

Almost immediately, her eyes sought out the button located near the door. It looked like a similar counterpart to the one that got her in, and she inched closer and shot it without a second thought. Something slammed against the door then, startling her backwards. She could hear muffled shots aiming at the door, which meant she'd bought herself some time inside before they managed a way around it. At this point, there was no way Xaglar wasn't informed of what was going on.

Her side was aching, the sudden onset of pain nearly blinding. She staggered to the side, huffing out breath after breath evenly.

“Not yet.” She muttered, gripping at the wound desperately. It wasn't bleeding, at least. The gun slipped out of her grip and clattered to the ground as she limped over towards the control panel. Her eyes ran over the weird array of buttons and levers, some labeled in Galran. Thankfully, she'd taken it upon herself to try and learn the Galra language for deciphering purposes back at the Castle, so most of the words were distinguishable. One button, the words “Conserve/Disable” printed underneath, caught her attention. An energy-saving mode? Would it take down the barrier too?

The door to the room creaked heavily against the repeated pressure forced by the droids, bending unnaturally at the hinges. Pidge blew out another labored breath. She needed to hurry. This was most likely her last chance. She leaned over towards the button she'd been eyeing, quickly scanning the words again to make sure she'd read it right. Now or never.

Her eyes caught onto the monitors at the last second, watching the small screens filled with space, all depicting different angles. Something large and dark would flit past some of the cameras, constantly moving and rotating. There were more than one, their lion-shaped silhouettes darting back and forth, watching and waiting. The door finally burst open with one last explosion, loud enough to shake the floors.

She slammed the button.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: suffering from withdrawal after the BTS concert on Wednesday T___T take me backk

It was chaos after that. The droids stumbled into the room just as a large shudder rocked the ship, the lights flickering before cutting off entirely. Pidge grit her teeth and dove for the gun she'd dropped, taking advantage of the sudden disorientation to shoot at the pack. Half of them went down before the others realized what was happening, their scanners working fast to try and trace her location in the dark. A large part of her was suddenly grateful that she was dealing with mechanical soldiers that didn't possess the natural instincts living creatures did during emergency situations. Her shots reached them faster than they could detect her, easily burying themselves inside the metal surrounding their body.

She was alone again, all the robots lying scattered on the ground. Another enormous rumble shook the ground, and she staggered sideways, biting back a groan at the sudden pressure it put against her wound. Distantly, she could've sworn she heard one of the Lions roaring, a sound so familiar and comforting it shook her out of the haze of pain. Her eyes whipped back towards the monitors only to remember that the power was knocked out. But she was sure. The barrier must be down. It was faint, but she could swear she felt Green pulling at the back of her mind, trying to reach her now that there were no interferences.

There wasn't any time to celebrate her small victory. She was still in the ship and... Her eyes widened at the thought of Lance, detained somewhere and at the mercy of Xaglar and whatever torture he was inflicting. Was Xaglar still there? Or was he racing over here this very second?

Suits. She needed to grab their suits and bayards and find Lance. Her vision was already growing accustomed to the darkness, shapes growing sharp and distinct the more she focused. It took almost too long for her liking, but she managed to picked out a set of pods that had been placed near the control dock. Cutting the power had deactivated it, leaving it open and exposed for her to catch the familiar shape of her bayard.

There was no time, so she just grabbed both pods by their handles and heaved them off the table. They were annoyingly bulky, only worsening the strain on her injury, but she needed to hold them both in one hand so that she could use the gun with the other.

And suddenly, the room was too bright. Light filled her vision, so intense she took a step back as her eyes instinctively shut. She blinked slowly, letting the light creep back in and adjust bit by bit. The electricity had been restored, clearly, and a blaring alarm began to sound.

Her ears stung at the harsh noise piercing her head, but it helped her legs kickstart into running again, back out the door and down the hallways. She braced herself to cross paths with the Galra droids—or even Xaglar—at any given moment, but they all seemed to have disappeared. Not that she was complaining. Her mind was a mess, threatening to shut down at any moment from exhaustion. Running was growing impossible, her legs feeling more and more like lead with each step.

But she forced herself forward because she had to. They were so close to getting out, and she wouldn't rest until she was out of here with Lance. Images of him bloodied and bruised in that white room suddenly filled her mind, and she shook them off as fast as she could. She didn't want to think about that again. So she kept running, even if she had no idea where she was going. Something told her she was on the right track, so she stuck with it.

When she rounded another corner, she nearly collided with another droid. She immediately startled back, letting the pods fall to the ground with a clatter as she adjusted her grip on the gun.

But before she could even aim and shoot, the droid was already falling to the ground. It was only then she caught the small sparks that were shooting out from its back where another blast had made its mark. She gaped at it for a second before realizing where she was, what had happened. Did someone from the team get into the ship to find them? Or...

She glanced up, eyes zeroing on the figure in front of her. Lance stood just a few feet away, clutching a gun of his own. When he spotted her after the droid fell, she almost took a step backwards, her grip on the gun tightening. His eyes were the coldest she'd ever seen, yet they burned with an anger that seemed uncontainable. They were dark and calculating, as if he was simply moving only to dispose of any threats in his sight. The rest of his expression was blank, no hint of a smile or the lopsided smirk she was so used to seeing. It was so unlike him that, quite frankly, it freaked her out a little.

For a second, she almost worried that Lance was about to shoot at her without a second thought. But then his expression cleared, his eyes widening as far as they could go. The gun in his hands crashed to the ground and he swayed slightly from where he stood.

“P-Pidge...” His voice was trembling as much as his hands, but that was all Pidge needed. She burst forward, letting her gun fall as she ran the little distance between them and tackled him into the ground. In hindsight, that might've been a bad idea given that they were both injured, but neither of them seemed to care. She felt him pull her into a tighter hug, still trembling violently.

They didn't have time. Pidge knew that, but everything seemed to drain out of her once their legs touched the floor. She was exhausted, but she let out a relieved sigh knowing Lance was there. “Found you.” Her voice was barely a murmur as she reached a tired hand up to gently pat him on the back, conscious to try and avoid his previous injuries.

“I thought you were dead.” Lance sobbed, his hands clutching desperately at the back of her shirt. Pidge stiffened before trying to carefully push away from the hug so that she could look him in the eye. Lance wouldn't let her. If anything, he tightened his hold. “I know you told me, that it was all some kind of illusion. But it...” His voice broke, and he took a shuddering breath. “It looked so _real_ , you were... You kept screaming to the point where I wasn't sure if it really wasn't you.”

“Lance...” Pidge straightened up as much as she could in her position, her hands carefully gripping the back of his shoulders. “I'm right here, so look at me.”

Lance made no effort to move. “And then you stopped. Stopped screaming, stopped moving, stopped...” He sounded horrified, and honestly, she felt the same. “I thought they killed you. I tried calling for you, but then the room went dark and--”

Pidge moved her hands against his chest and pushed as firmly as she could, finally breaking his hold. Lance let her, leaning back as his arms fell limply to the side. He was a mess. His eyes were red and wide with panic, tears still streaking and staining his face. But he looked like Lance again, unlike the person she first saw when she rounded the corner.

She took the moment to sneak a glance past his shoulder before checking behind her, just to make sure no enemies were coming their way. They weren't, but she could feel distant rumbling from the vibrations through the floor, meaning they still weren't in the clear.

“I'm alive, and so are you. We're alive and we're getting out of here right now.” Pidge spoke as firmly as she could. The thought of being able to see everyone again filled her a overwhelming need to keep moving. It was the only thought consuming her mind now that she found Lance. “We have to get moving. Shiro and the others are probably inside the ship by now.”

Lance's eyes widened slightly at the mention of his other teammates, and he took another breath before nodding. He still looked shaky, but he got to his feet with no problem before reaching out a hand towards Pidge. She took it, slightly embarrassed to realize that she probably wouldn't have been able to get up on her own.

Her injury chose that moment to flare up, burning sharply when Lance pulled her upwards, and she grimaced as her legs gave out again. The sides of her vision bled white, threatening to pull her under. Someone—Lance—was grabbing at her shoulders again, his voice fading back in over the pounding in her head.

“--idge, what's wrong?” He sounded frantic, terrified. “Are you injured somewhere? Just exhausted?”

Pidge groaned. “Ugh, both. One of them got me on the side earlier when I broke into the control room.”

Lance pursed his lips, thinking hard before his face set into one of grim determination. He reached over, picking up the gun he'd discarded and placing it in her lap. Reaching an arm along her shoulders and the other under the crook of her legs, he lifted her easily before starting to move.

“Wait.” Pidge breathed out, feeling Lance come to a stop instantly. “The pods over there, they have our stuff.”

A bit more movement before Lance leaned forward a bit, as if to peer into the containers. A slight grin touched his face. “Aw, you even packed them into little souvenir cases for us.”

“Shut up.” Pidge mumbled, although she still smiled at his words. She felt him shift and crouch down, moving to pick up both pods before straightening back up and resuming his trek. The ship shook every so often with muffled blasts, yet they never seemed to encounter another droid. Maybe they were too far back.

She was really tired now, especially now that she wasn't walking. As tempting as it was, she knew going to sleep was a bad idea right now. That was more burden on Lance if they did run into enemies. He was walking briskly, wearing an expression that looked more worried than anything. Was his back alright? She must be heavy, especially with the added weight of the pods.

“Green.” Pidge managed, feeling Lance's eyes briefly flick towards her. “I felt her. Is Blue there?”

Lance's face softened just a tad. “Yeah. She is.” He looked at her again, biting his lip. “Just focus on staying awake right now, buddy. I don't think I'll be able to handle you going all Sleeping Beauty on me.”

Pidge huffed out a laugh, blinking hard. “Right.”

Another crash echoed down the hall, and Pidge could've sworn the ship tilted a bit. It interrupted Lance's pace, and he stopped to steady himself. Looking at him closely, she could see just how worn out Lance was, with his puffed eyes and dried out skin. He was probably gonna do an extensive skincare routine when they got back.

“Sorry Pidge.” Lance sounded pained, his words tumbling out in one breath. For a second, Pidge didn't understand. Was he at his limit? He couldn't carry her anymore? She opened her mouth, ready to say she could walk on her own now, but he kept moving. “I put all the burden on you here.”

She was confused now. What was he talking about? “What?”

Lance wouldn't meet her eyes anymore. “This entire mess... You were the one who managed to contact the others, think up a plan, and break out of the cell on your own to get into the control room. And you got injured too. I was just baggage. I should've been more useful, done _something_ \--”

Pidge's eyes widened in alarm, her exhausting taking a seat in the back burner. “Lance, what? No, you weren't baggage. Why would you think that?”

“I was, and it's fine. I already know. I just wanted to apologize... I'll do better next time.”

Was her sleep-deprived mind making her hear things? Was Lance really being this hard on himself? It was so unlike him, so different from his obnoxious and confident personality. Listening to him say it made her sick. Was that what he really thought?

No. This was unacceptable. And she needed to fix it. Her hand reached up and lightly punched at his chest, just enough to get his attention. Not that she had enough energy to put more strength into it. “Lance. Shut up and listen to me. You--”

All of a sudden, Lance jerked to a stop, his eyes frozen on something in front of him. Pidge watched him, turning to trace his gaze towards the end of the hall. They were far, but she saw the small horde heading their way. And they didn't look like allies.

Lance backed up a few steps, moving towards the wall and quickly settling Pidge towards the ground as gently as he could. One of the pods tipped over in his haste, letting his bayard tumble out. He noticed and grabbed it without hesitation.

“Hang tight, I'll deal with them.” Lance muttered, voice urgent. Any trace of his previous vulnerability was erased from his expression, his face blank and serious. It was a look he usually wore when they were on important missions. He patted the Galra gun still nestled in her lap. “If anything happens, use this to protect yourself.”

Pidge opened her mouth to speak, but the words seemed to jam in her throat. Instead, she pressed her lips together and gave a shaky nod. Her mind was reeling, still focused on what Lance had been saying.

There was no time for her to process it, though, once Lance whipped around stepped forward, his bayard materializing in his hands. He shifted his stance, steadying his gun before she heard him take a deep breath. Then he began to shoot.

Now Pidge had known Lance was a good shooter. He'd been sure to mention it every time he utilized his skill on the field, but she never bothered to dignify him with a reaction. But watching him release shot after shot, the droids dropping one by one in the distance after each blast, she could understand why he was so proud of his shooting. It was incredible. Quick but terrifyingly accurate every time.

She'd been so focused on watching his offensive that it took a second for her brain to process the foreign noise that cut into the rhythmic blasts of Lance's bayard. A voice? Someone was yelling. She could've sworn they were saying her name.

Lance didn't move from his spot, laser-focused on his task. He might have been concentrating too much to even hear the voice. Pidge straightened up, turning down the opposite end of the hall where she'd heard the source. The sight that greeted her nearly had her collapse against the wall in relief.

It was Hunk. And Keith. They were practically sprinting, growing closer by the second. For a terrible moment, she thought she was hallucinating, a cruel joke her exhausted mind conjured up in its confusion. Even worse, she feared they were another one of Xaglar's creations. If they were... She needed to defend herself. Like what Lance said. Yet the gun in her hand suddenly felt incredibly heavy, and she knew she wouldn't be able to raise a weapon against them, fake or not. There was no way.

At that point, it would've been too late for her if they really had been a Galra trap. Hunk and Keith had already closed the distance, dropping onto their knees once they were in front of her. Keith was grabbing at her shoulders, his eyes wide and worried under his helmet. His face filled her vision, and she reeled to catch his words.

“Pidge! Quiznak, what _happened_?!” He shook his head briskly, as if admonishing himself. “Let's get out of here first. Can you walk?”

Pidge wanted to, she really did. But her stupid legs wouldn't move, much less the rest of her body. All the energy seemed to sap out of her the second she processed that backup was here, that they could finally escape. It all left in one weak rush, like a sieve suddenly giving way into a gaping hole. So she shook her head, too tired to even speak.

Keith nodded, already moving to toss the gun in her lap to the side before gathering her in his arms like Lance had. His grip was different, more rigid in comparison to Lance's relaxed hold. She didn't really mind this one either, though.

Past his shoulder, Pidge caught Hunk already by Lance's side, using his own bayard to help blast the rest of the droids into oblivion. Lance's bayard dematerialized and clattered to the ground the instant the last soldier was taken out. Hunk was already moving as well, discarding his own bayard to open his arms and grab Lance in a gigantic and desperate hug. Lance was crying, and by the way Hunk's shoulders were shaking, so was he.

Keith didn't make a move to interrupt their reunion, and Pidge was glad he didn't.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, small confession - I haven't actually watched the Voltron: Legendary Defender series yet LMAO this fic was literally born after I saw a few langst posts on Tumblr, got interested in the character and ended up scrolling through all of the character wikis T___T 
> 
> I still wanna watch the series though... Although everything's already been spoiled for me cause I've basically lived through the episodes thanks to gifs and analysis stuff on Tumblr (why do i do this to myself). But will still watch. Maybe after Season 3's out :D 
> 
> But yeah I only say this to apologize if Keith's POV sounds weird ^^;; Basically all I know about him is that he's angsty, very protective of Shiro, and frenemies with Lance. And also that Red is an overpossessive mom. Oooh but the half-Galra thing was cool to see too!

“Sorry we were late.” Keith mumbled, eyes glaring at the ceiling above him. They were all walking again, him carrying Pidge while Hunk slung Lance's arm over his shoulder to provide support. “Hunk's gonna blow up this stupid ship the second we're out of its blast radius.”

He felt Pidge sigh, relaxing a bit more against his chest. Then suddenly she was tense, wriggling a bit in his arms as she tried to look around. “Where's Shiro?”

Keith tightened his grip just slightly to prevent her from slipping out of his arms. “He's dealing with the other Galra. The commander or something.” He frowned. “I can't reach him on the comms. Or Coran, for that matter.”

The barrier must have reactivated when the power was restored. Didn't matter, they just had to take it down again. Even if it meant wrecking the control room. Shiro would probably figure it out. In all honestly, he wanted to go find him and help fight. Shiro had said he'd handle the Galra on his own, that Keith and Hunk should go find Pidge and Lance. He didn't argue with the decision, knowing it was the best option. But still, he wanted to help.

Pidge had gone quiet, looking like she was on the verge of passing out. She looked terrible, her hair matted and glasses askew and face pale with sweat. All of a sudden, he felt his anger flare up again, filling him with the urge to track down more droid soldiers and beat the crap out of them.

Lance didn't look any better off. If anything, he looked worse. Both of them needed to get into a pod for recovery as soon as possible.

“Keith, do you know how to get back?” Hunk called out from behind, voice tinged with urgency and worry. Lance must be in a pretty bad condition for him to sound like that, and the thought of it pissed Keith off even more. Now he really wanted to go find that Galra commander and give him a piece of his mind.

“We'll get there.” Keith said resolutely, although it was a baseless claim. He only had a vague recollection of how they got here, having taken too many turns for him to keep track. The entire time, he and Hunk had been running as fast as they could, raining their fury down on any droid soldiers that were unfortunate enough to cross their paths.

He heard a groan then, followed by Hunk's low murmurs. Keith turned around just as he heard something clatter to the ground. It was the pod Lance had been holding, who was now slumping dangerously close to the ground. Hunk was the only thing that was keeping him upright by this point.

“Lance. Buddy, let me carry you.” Hunk insisted, using his free hand to scoop up the other pod so that he was clutching both. He moved to bend down into a crouch when Lance stuck out a shaky hand against his chest, stopping him.

“No.” Lance's voice was surprisingly strong. “I can walk. Just... Just help me.”

Hunk let out a low whine, looking completely torn between assenting to Lance's request or simply throwing the guy over his shoulder. A particularly violent tremor hit the ship, and Keith stumbled as he focused on keeping Pidge close against his chest. The lights flickered before completely going out, leaving them enveloped in nothing but darkness.

“Uh, Keith?” Hunk sounded exponentially more stressed now that they were blind. “Where are you?”

“Still in front.” Keith called. “Give it a moment, our eyes will adjust.”

He felt Pidge moving again, her head lifting off from where she had been leaning against his shoulder. “The barrier...” Her voice cut in, quiet but determined. “It should be down now.”

Keith nodded, even though no one could see. “Yeah, we'll keep moving.” He turned around towards where Lance and Hunk would most likely be. “Hunk, are you and Lance good?”

There was a brief pause while Hunk muttered something to Lance before he called out. “Yeah, we're good. You're gonna have to warn us when there's a turn though. I don't want us to crash into a wall.”

The lights chose then to return, although it was substantially dimmer than before.

“... Or not.” Hunk whispered.

It hardly illuminated the hallways, but it was definitely enough to see. Keith blinked, squinting down the hall warily before he started moving again. It must have been Shiro. Did that mean he was finished with his fight? He wasn't surprised, but still slightly disappointed that he wouldn't have the chance to take a swing at the Galra.

Pidge was quiet again, completely limp in his arms. Keith didn't like it, but he could still feel her breathing steadily, so he let her rest. Part of him wanted to know what exactly happened to them both, but another part of him wanted to hear none of it. It would just make him angry.

Keith heard Shiro before he could see him down the darkened hallway. How he knew it was Shiro was beyond him. Something in those heavy and reckless footfalls had him relatively sure it was their leader.

“Shiro?” Keith called tentatively, hearing the footsteps immediately cease before resuming again, this time even quicker.

“Keith!” Shiro's voice was infinitely loud, echoing off the walls powerfully. He was nearby, and soon enough, Keith could make out his silhouette getting closer and closer until he just barely slowed to a stop in front of him.

Even under the dim light, Keith could notice the sweat matting Shiro's forehead and dripping down his face. His chest was heaving with great exertion, which was obvious given how fast he'd been sprinting. But that hadn't been what caught his attention.

Shiro looked angry. Incredibly angry. It was a level of fury that even Keith hadn't encountered yet. His eyes were practically blazing to the point where it pierced the darkness, and Keith had a pretty good idea of who could've brought him to that state.

Keith swallowed, shoving that aside for later. “We found them.” He said, slightly lifting Pidge up in his arms for good measure.

Shiro's eyes traced down to where Pidge was cradled against Keith's chest, his expression immediately loosening into one of immense relief. His hand reached out, gently landing in Pidge's hair, a long sigh escaping him. Then his eyes peered past Keith, towards Hunk, and a smile grew when he spotted Lance. It didn't last long though, and Shiro glanced back at Keith, face recomposed.

“Follow me, let's get out of here.” His voice was strong, leading. Keith immediately moved to follow, moving just a bit quicker so that he could walk next to Shiro instead.

“What happened with that Galra commander?” Keith asked, discreetly eyeing Shiro for any obvious injuries. From what he could tell, there weren't any, which must have meant it was a pretty one-sided fight.

Shiro's face seemed to darken at the mention of the Galra, although Keith couldn't be sure. “I dealt with him. Don't worry about it.” The cold tone in his voice was enough for Keith to drop the conversation at that.

They hadn't been moving for longer than a minute when Shiro brought them to a halt in front of a massive door. “Princess, we found them.” Shiro's voice suddenly crackled into Keith's helmet. The comms were working again, apparently. “We're about to leave.”

“Good.” Allura's voice was tinged with just a bit of impatience. “Bring them back to the Castle as soon as possible.”

“Wait!” Hunk cut in so loudly even Shiro jumped in surprise.

“Sorry.” He amended, substantially more quiet. “It's just Pidge and Lance need their suits on. They won't be able to breathe while we're transferring into the Lions...”

Keith blinked, surprised that he hadn't even realized such a crucial fact. Apparently Shiro hadn't either, his eyes widening before he finally nodded.

“Right, right.” Shiro was already moving, reaching for the pods Hunk held up. “Here, you help Lance. Keith and I will handle Pidge.”

Everyone moved fast, nothing but the sound of breathing filling the comms while they worked. Pidge hardly reacted throughout the whole thing, only slightly grimacing when Keith adjusted a piece on her torso. By the time they finished, Hunk and Lance were already waiting to go. Hunk might as well have been carrying Lance by this point with how limp he was. But Hunk didn't say anything, letting Lance lean against him without a complaint. It was both endearing and painful to watch.

The door shuddered before slowly opening once Shiro pulled the lever next to it. The process took longer than Keith would have liked, but soon enough he could see the never-ending expanse of space he'd grown so accustomed to. The Red Lion appeared not a second later, propping its jaw on the platform and opening its mouth for them to enter.

“Shiro,” Keith stepped forward, holding out Pidge. “I have to pilot Red, so can you...?”

Shiro was moving before he even finished his sentence, reaching out to grab Pidge as carefully as he could. Keith sprinted for the pilot seat once he handed her off, not wanting to waste any more time delaying their return. He waited until everyone was safely settled on the ground behind his seat before pulling Red into a turn back towards the Castle.

A distant explosion caught his attention, and he chanced a glance back to see Yellow fire another blast at what had been the Galra ship, which was already crumbling from the previous shot. Good riddance.

It was an unbearably silent ride. Keith normally didn't mind the quiet—it helped him concentrate—but this was so thick with tension and worry that he could hardly breathe. Red pushed comfortingly at the back of his mind, most likely sensing his growing agitation. It didn't do much to ease the pressure off of him, so he just opted to flying a bit faster.

“How are they?” He finally asked, not wanting to turn around and see for himself.

There was a brief silence. “Lance fell... Asleep.” Hunk said, failing to hide the fear in his voice. “Pidge is still asleep too. They look exhausted.” He made a small noise, sounding like an injured animal. “What did those Galra _do_ to them?”

Keith opened his mouth, then closed it. He kept his eyes trained on the screen in front of him, spotting the Castle just ahead. He couldn't say anything because he was thinking the exact same thing. Whatever those Galra did, they deserved worse than the end they got. He was sure of that much.

“They'll be okay.” Shiro spoke, calm and steady. “Once they get into the pods, they can recover and rest. And we'll be sure to take care of them once they wake up.”

Keith steered Red into her hangar, already half out of his seat and contacting Allura through the comms before they were properly landed.

First things first, Lance and Pidge needed to get in the pods.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fml these chapters are getting harder to write LMAO i know too little about these people ahhh maybe i'll actually have to start watching the show this weekend T___T

The last thing Pidge remembered before she fell asleep had been Keith carrying her in the Galra ship. The next thing she knew, she woke up falling, only to land on something soft and warm. It smelled so familiar, so like...Hunk? Her eyes flew open, straining to adjust as her surroundings flickered in and out of view.

“Mornin', Pidge.” Hunk. That was definitely Hunk's voice. She glanced up blearily, half of her face still buried against his chest.

As expected, it was him, smile so bright and comforting that Pidge could only blow out a long sigh and relax even more against him. Relief washed over her like a tidal wave, her brain finally registering that she was actually safe this time. Green purred at the back of her mind, mirroring her own sense of happiness.

“Morning.” She mumbled, lifting her head slightly to catch the others already huddled around her. They were keeping a few good inches away though, making her feel more like a zoo exhibit than anything. But they were all there, watching and smiling.

All except for one.

Pidge straightened up in Hunk's arms, ignoring how exhausted just that simple action made her. Her eyes immediately sought out the other pods lined up next to the one she came out of, easily spotting Lance still encased in the adjacent pod. Even if it was cryo, he looked so much better. No bruises, no blood, no grimaces of pain. That was fine then, he deserved all the rest he could get.

“He should be fully recovered soon.” Coran said gently, stepping a bit closer towards her. “His injuries needed a tad bit more time to take care of compared to yours.”

That was understandable. Aside from her side wound, she'd been more energy-depleted than anything. Lance went through way worse. Of course, that didn't make her feel any better. She wanted to see him awake and acting like Lance again. Not like the way he was on the ship.

“How are you feeling?” Allura spoke, sounding on edge with worry. Pidge finally looked away from the pod to where the princess stood, wringing her hands and watching her with wide eyes. There was something so maternal about it that it brought a small smile to Pidge's face.

“I'm good.” Pidge said.

Actually, she was hungry. _Really_ hungry. But she decided to put that thought aside for now. She'll get food after everything settled down.

Pidge glanced around, eyeing the others carefully. “I'm guessing you want to hear what happened on the ship?”

She watched Shiro, who nodded grimly once his gaze met hers. “If you're okay with talking about it. We won't force you.”

It was tempting, but Pidge still nodded. She'd probably feel better getting it off her chest, anyways. “Can we do it here, though? Just in case Lance wakes up.”

Everyone seemed to have already expected that, immediately assenting and settling to the ground in a matter of seconds. Hunk kept Pidge cradled in his lap, her back cushioned against his chest. She let him, finding it more comfortable than she expected.

Pidge took a few moments to gather her thoughts, opting to start from the beginning when she and Lance first got into the ship. Those parts were pretty easy to talk about. It got more difficult to speak once she had to explain their first encounter with Xaglar in the cell and Lance's injury. Everyone's expression had darkened when she stumbled through what Xaglar did, finding it harder to breathe the more she went on.

Saying it all over again felt like a punishment within itself. Just thinking about being trapped between Lance and the ground again, his body stiffening each time Xaglar landed another strike to his back, made her sick. She had to stop and take a moment to calm down, her chest feeling like it was going to suffocate her.

“Sorry, I...” Pidge blinked hard, swallowing back any tears. “That part was all my fault. It was a stupid plan and it ended up hurting Lance.”

She felt Hunk put a hand on her shoulder before he squeezed it gently. “Don't put this all on yourself, Pidge.”

“Hunk's right,” Shiro said firmly. “The only ones who did wrong are the Galra. You and Lance were both trying to protect each other.”

None of it made her feel any better. Lance was still injured, still in the pod because of it. And what was even worse, Lance kept saying it was his fault the entire time. That had been the most infuriating.

“Pidge?” Hunk's voice was directly by her ear, and she jumped slightly in surprise. “Are you okay? You don't have to keep going if it's too much.”

She'd almost forgotten where she was for a moment. Quiznak, her head felt heavy. “No, I'm okay. I was just thinking about something.”

The rest of the debrief didn't take long, although she admittedly skimmed over a lot of the details when it came to the white room. Some kind of mental torture, she called it. Of course, the others still looked horrified at the revelation, but she quickly moved on before she had to think any more on the subject. She was too tired to relive that.

Everyone stayed silent after Pidge finished, either eyeing the ground, Lance's pod, or herself. She let out a small breath, leaning more against Hunk's chest and closing her eyes when she felt his arms gently wrap around her front. It was probably the most comfortable hug she'd had in a while.

“Thanks for telling us, Pidge.” Hunk whispered, sounding near tears. “I'm so sorry you two had to go through all that.”

Pidge opened her eyes again, searching out Shiro's form. He tried for a grin when their eyes met, but he still clearly looked troubled. Her stomach lurched at the realization that he must have gone through what she had, except it was on a scale she could never imagine. Two days had already felt like weeks, but Shiro lost a year—and an arm—under the Galra's hands. Shiro was way stronger than he gave himself credit for.

Another thought hit her then, sharp and quick. “Lance.” She said, eyes widening. “Something's wrong with him.”

Shiro's brow furrowed in confusion. “Wrong?”

Pidge didn't know how to explain it. After all, even she could hardly understand it. “He... He thinks this mission went wrong because of him. He kept blaming himself and apologizing for being useless for the team. I told him it wasn't true, but he wouldn't listen.” She swallowed, her throat feeling infinitely dry. “Even when he got hurt, he said it was better him than me. I... I'm not good at this kind of stuff, so I was hoping you all could help talk to him and fix it.”

Everyone looked horrified, and rightfully so. No one, especially Pidge, would expect Lance would be saying things like that. But she'd heard it, and there was no way she was going to let it gloss over like Lance had tried to before.

Allura was frowning, eyes downcast. “That..is indeed troubling. We'll be sure to discuss it at the soonest opportunity.” She looked up, her expression firm and sure. “All of you Paladins are equally valuable to Voltron. I hope everyone else here understands that.”

Pidge felt Green nudge at her mind again with a soft purr, as if supporting Allura's words. It eased the haziness in her head and filled her with just enough warmth to bring a smile to her face. She needed to go see Green later, too. There were so many things she had to do now that she was back.

Her stomach chose that moment to let out the loudest and most obnoxious noise she'd ever heard, growling at a volume that could've easily drowned out anyone who might have been talking. Everyone's eyes jerked back towards her, and Pidge felt the heat rising to her face. Wow, talk about embarrassing.

Shiro was the first to move, trying—and failing—to stifle a grin. “But first, Pidge needs to eat. Let's head to the kitchen.”

“Wait, wait,” Pidge scrambled to speak as everyone got back to their feet. They stopped, waiting. “I can go there myself. Can you guys stay here? Lance might wake up, and I don't want him to be alone.” She was not letting a repeat of what he went through on that Galra ship happen again. Even if he _was_ safe here.

Keith frowned, eyeing her from where he stood. “You sure you can make it there on your own?”

Pidge crossed her arms. “Really? Of course I can.” She scooted forward, hefting herself off of Hunk's lap and staggering to her feet. That itself took an effort, her knees starting to tremble as she found herself fighting to stay upright. _Wow_ , she was exhausted.

She could already feel Keith's smirk without looking. “You really sure? You look like a newborn deer.” He called out, amusement tinging his voice.

Hunk grabbed her shoulders, easily helping her bear most of the weight for the moment. “Alright, here's the plan. Coran! It's up to you.”

Coran, for his part, only looked mildly startled to be put on the spot, reflexively stepping forward at his name. “Me?”

Pidge felt Hunk push her forward just slightly, as if to make a point. “Give Pidge a piggyback ride to the kitchen.”

The silence was only short-lived, and Shiro actually burst into a laugh this time, loud and booming. Even Keith relaxed into a grin, glancing at Allura and Coran, who both looked equally confused.

“A piggyback ride?” Coran asked, mystified.

“It's nothing dangerous.” Hunk said, speaking a bit louder to be heard over Shiro's residual chuckles. “Just turn around, crouch down, and let Pidge get on your back. Then you carry her on over there.”

Coran blinked, eyes darting between Hunk and Pidge. “Is this a usual tradition among Earthlings?”

“Totally.” Hunk laughed. “You gotta hurry before Pidge starves to death!”

That seemed to spur Coran into moving closer, although he still looked baffled. “I'd never heard of such a thing before.”

Allura made a small noise—maybe of impatience—before taking a few strides to place herself in front of Pidge. She spun around easily, ducking towards the ground and waiting.

“She's starving, Coran. Time is of the essence. If I must, I'll take her myself.”

Pidge didn't even get the chance to entertain the idea of Allura giving her a piggyback ride, as tempting as it was. Coran was already there, inching a bit closer than Allura was, back positioned towards her.

“That is unnecessary, Princess.” Coran piped up heartily. “As the one who had been called upon for the task, I see fit to carry out this duty to completion myself.”

Allura laughed, getting back to her feet and dusting the front of her dress as Hunk nudged Pidge forward gently. By this point, Pidge let herself flop onto Coran's back, completely out of energy to keep herself standing. She felt Coran immediately grab her legs, adjusting her before he easily got back onto his feet.

“Well, to the kitchen it is!” Coran said, stepping towards the doors as the others voiced light goodbyes. Allura followed, saying that she needed to speak with Coran.

Pidge didn't mind, letting her chin fall with a light thump against Coran's shoulder. It had been a _really_ long time since she'd last been given a piggyback ride, but it was nice as she remembered. Coran walked very lightly, with a sense of poise and measure that befitted his status. He stopped every few steps to readjust his grip on her, making sure that she didn't slide too far down. She appreciated the gesture, trying her best to stay attached with what little strength she had left. Her stomach felt like it was shriveling up, maybe even shrink. All she could think about now was to eat and drink something. The anticipation that food was indeed coming made her hunger only intensify.

Yet as hungry as she was, the need to return back to the others was already starting to gnaw at her. It was almost felt like she hadn't even seen them just seconds ago. She watched Coran turn a corner, the kitchen just down the hall. He was still talking to Allura, but their words washed over her without a second thought. All she wanted to do was eat and get back to everyone.

And she wanted Lance to wake up already.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finals week is almost here so i'll see y'all after exams are over T___T don't know if i wrote this chapter well cause i'm bad at heavy scenes SIGH

Lance woke up slowly, head groggy and in a haze. It felt too bright before he even opened his eyes, a weird muffled noise floating through his ears. But then he heard the familiar whoosh of a pod opening, and his body tumbled out before he could properly orient himself.

He landed on something... Someone? His eyes fluttered open, squinting at the harsh light. Everything was still blurry, but he could make out faces, familiar ones. The arms wrapped around his waist lowered him to the ground, and he blinked a few more times before his vision finally adjusted.

Hunk was the first one he saw. He looked teary, but a huge smile was on his face. Keith was at his side, silently staring holes into Lance's head. Lance never thought he could feel so grateful to seeing them again, even Keith. Their presence loosened a knot in his stomach, filling him with an overpowering sense of relief.

What's even more was that he clearly felt Blue again, wrapping around his mind like a warm and comforting blanket. Longing, love, worry, and joy washed over him in waves, yet supported him like a lifeline.

“How are you feeling?”

Lance turned to catch Shiro's gaze, who still had an arm around Lance's shoulders as a steady anchor. Shiro looked relieved, eyes soft and reassuring. He missed that face. It was enough to relax Lance just a bit more, but he still had that nagging sense of something missing.

“Haven't felt better.” Lance said with a grin. He straightened up and scanned the rest of the room. “How long was I out?”

Shiro's hand gently squeezed Lance's shoulder, as if to get his attention. “Almost two days. And if you're looking for Pidge, she's at the kitchen with the Princess and Coran. She woke up not too long ago and her stomach was louder than her voice.” Shiro steered him a bit, heading towards the entrance. “You must be hungry, too. We can head there after you change.”

Lance dressed quickly when he was back in his room, marveling at how...normal he felt. Before he'd woken up, he remembered feeling like death, every inch of his body burning like it was on fire. But now, it was like none of it ever happened. Was that how it was supposed to be? Sweeping everything aside and moving along to the next mission? It felt...odd. But it was fine, since he wanted to forget about it anyways. As long as he got it together, everyone could carry on like usual.

When he finally walked out, comfortable to be back in familiar clothing, Hunk was already waiting to envelop him into another bear hug. There was no warning, just him waiting outside of Lance's door like a big and soft wall. Lance sunk into it, letting out a sigh and burying his face against Hunk's shoulder. Hunk really did give the best hugs.

“I'm glad you're back, buddy.” Hunk whispered, pulling Lance in tight.

Lance almost had the urge to cry again. Almost. But he swallowed it back down as soon as he felt it. No more crying—he didn't have that luxury. He let himself indulge in Hunk's blanket hug for a few more seconds before pulling back from it, putting on another smile.

“Thanks, Hunk. I really missed you too.”

Shiro, who had been patiently waiting with Keith near the back, gestured them down into a walk towards the kitchen. Hunk stuck by Lance's side, and soon enough Keith was slowing down enough to match their pace.

Keith's shoulder lightly bumped against Lance's as they walked. “Hey, you okay?”

Lance let that one sink in for a bit. He rarely heard anything from Keith that wasn't an insult or an edgy remark. It was a nice change of pace, but it still threw him off.

“Yeah,” Lance's voice was a bit quieter at this. “I'm okay.”

When they walked in, Lance spotted Pidge sitting at the table, digging at a bowl in front of her. Allura and Coran sat on either side of her, quietly discussing something over her head. All three pairs of eyes fell on the group when the door opened, and chairs screeched backwards as all three dashed towards the entryway.

Pidge made a beeline for Lance, who easily let her latch onto his side. She hugged him fiercely for a second before pulling back, eyeing him up and down closely.

“Are you okay? Your back? Anything hurting?” She pressed, both her hands still gripping his forearms.

Lance couldn't help but laugh, patting her on the shoulder. “I feel a lot better, Pidge. Really.”

Pidge didn't look impressed, grabbing his wrist before tugging him towards the table. “There's no way you're not hungry. C'mere, there's plenty of space goo to go around.”

Coran suddenly appeared next to him, eyes glistening and teary. “Lance, my boy. We're all so glad both you and Pidge are back and safe.”

Looping around the table, Lance let Pidge maneuver him into a chair while he grinned and thanked Coran. By this time, it all felt mechanical. Hunk had already run over to retrieve another bowl filled with space goo, placing it in front of him with a spoon as he apologized for not having cooked anything yet. Everyone else was settling into chairs, clearly ready to have some sort of meeting now that everyone was accounted for. Lance eyed the food in front of him, feeling his stomach rumble appreciatively. Quiznak, he was starving. Without another thought, he picked up the spoon and took a mouthful.

Whoever was seated next to him suddenly reached over pressed a hand against his cheek, still full with space goo. He turned, half-expecting to see Pidge and nearly choking when he realized it was Allura.

She was quiet, a small frown on her face as she scanned his. “You're really alright?”

For a moment, Lance could only blink. Joke, he needed to make a joke here. If this were any other time, Lance would be making some sort of obnoxious comment.

So he did, swallowing down his food and putting on a wry smile. “What's this, Princess? Finally recognizing my merits as a war hero? It's about time.”

Allura rolled her eyes, but there was no exasperation on her expression like there usually would have been. Lance relaxed slightly, glad she seemed to look appeased at his comment. She straightened back against her chair, turning towards the rest of the group at the table. They'd been watching the exchange with varying degrees of amusement on their faces, but they grew serious once Allura cleared her throat. As tired as he was, Lance kind of wished Allura was about to assign another mission or training session for the day. Distractions sounded great about now.

“I believe it's best for us at this point to discuss these past events.”

Or not. He felt like the air had been knocked out of his chest, his grip tightening on the spoon momentarily. He forced himself through with the motions, scooping up another glob of space goo and keeping his head down. Stay calm.

Allura continued on. “What happened to both Lance and Pidge was something I don't ever want to happen again. We need to take proper precautions and measures when the Paladins go out on missions.”

“That was my bad.” Pidge piped up, voice guilty. “I relied too much on my scanner before we went in. It must have miscounted.”

“Mistakes happen.” Shiro said firmly. Lance fiddled with his spoon, letting it rest on the edge of the bowl. Allura's mice scampered over, eagerly crowding around the bowl and waiting for Lance to offer them a bite. “What matters is that we be extra careful from now on.”

Lance took another bite once the mice had their fill. This mouthful was a lot harder to swallow, feeling more like he was trying to eat sand than food. None of this had been Pidge's fault. He didn't know why she was saying it was. If he'd pulled his weight, they might've escaped before anyone had gotten hurt.

“Lance.” He finally glanced up when Shiro called him. Shiro's eyes were warm, infinitely patient. Lance almost felt guilty that the look was directed at him. “Pidge mostly filled us in on what happened, and we don't want you to feel like you're at fault for this. Neither you or Pidge did anything wrong. If something's bothering you, just talk to us.”

Everyone was staring at him expectantly now, waiting for him to speak. Lance hated it, hated the pressure and burden it was putting on him. What was he supposed to say? That he'd been completely useless the entire time Pidge had been risking her life to get them out? Of course it was his fault. He knew that was the truth, and surely everyone else felt the same.

He drew in a deep breath before shaking his head. “I'm good, man. Pidge did all the work during this mission, so there's not much for me to take credit for.”

“Okay, no.” Pidge waved her own spoon in the air, staring hard in Lance's direction before looking at the others. “I object to that. Lance did a lot to help me.”

The uncomfortable pressure that had started to prod at Lance's chest only grew. It felt more suffocating the more they seemed to stay on the subject. “Pidge...”

She turned to face him again. A frown stretched her face, but she looked more sad than angry. Which was weird. “Listen, I don't know why you're being so hard on yourself, but give yourself some credit. If you want me to list all your glorious accomplishments back on that ship, I can do that.”

Lance ducked his head, staring hard at the surface of the table. His chest felt too tight, too small for the air that was supposed to flow through it. He wanted to stop talking about this. Just wanted to erase anything related to that mission out of his mind. “No, that's not--”

“I'm serious,” Pidge continued. “You think I could've taken out all those Galra droids on my own? You shot down, like, way too many for me to count. And, if we're being completely honest, you really helped me after...you know. The white room and everything. Also--”

“Pidge,” Lance cut in, spoon all but abandoned on the table. This was all wrong. None of that had been enough. Why didn't she realize it? “Stop.”

Pidge stared at him, expression frustrated. “Fine, but listen. I wouldn't have gotten out of there so quickly without you. And I--”

He wouldn't hear any more of it. Lance had already pushed back his chair as he stood, the force of it sending it clattering to the floor. Pidge froze, the words dying on her mouth. The others went stiff, all sound sapped from the room in a heartbeat.

“Quickly?” Lance couldn't keep the tremors out of his voice, but he didn't care. “How was that quick? Did you see the state you were in? That never should have happened!”

Pidge blinked slowly, her face hardening once the initial shock wore off. “It _was_ quick, given the situation! I would've been worse off if you hadn't been there! And besides, compared to your condition, my state was completely manageable!”

“What happens to me doesn't matter! You being out of commission would've been way worse for this team!”

This time, Pidge actually looked angry. “I told you to stop saying that about--”

“I'm saying it because it's the truth!” Lance yelled, the pressure in his chest finally boiling over. “I didn't do enough.” He didn't dare look at anyone else but Pidge. He didn't want to see their expressions. “I never do.”

The silence was agonizingly long, heavy enough to suffocate a person. Everyone seemed at a loss for words, as if they were still trying to process the situation.

A breath caught in Lance's throat when he'd realize what he'd done. Quiznak, _what had he just done?_ He said too much. He shouldn't have said anything. He tried to breathe in, the effort nearly choking him. He had to leave before he did anything worse.

“I'm sorry, I...” Lance finally tore his gaze away from Pidge, whose expression was grim. He shifted his weight slightly, making sure he could walk without falling like an idiot. “Can I be alone for a bit? I'm gonna go see Blue.”

“Lance...” Hunk's voice sounded as miserable as he felt, which only made Lance's chest heavier. A large part of him actually wanted to sit down and talk to Hunk, alone. Hunk was good at listening, always let him ramble when something had been stressing him out at the Garrison. But this wasn't something he could talk about. Everything was too convoluted and he just wanted to be by himself.

Lance kept his eyes down as he straightened up, stiffening when he heard a chair being pushed back. He looked back up for a second, just catching Shiro on his feet from where he had been sitting. Lance shook his head hard, struggling to keep his breaths even.

“I just need some time to calm down.” Lance said in a hurry, eyes locked on Shiro desperately. “I'm sorry for freaking you guys out, it won't happen again. I swear. I'll be back to normal tomorrow.”

Shiro frowned, an expression that Lance couldn't quite pinpoint crossing his face. It looked like a weird mixture of anger and disappointment. Lance felt his throat tighten up, his feet already moving him backwards, towards the entrance. He'd disappointed Shiro. Of all people he didn't want to let down, Shiro had been the biggest. He let Shiro down. He let the entire team down with his stupid mouth.

Another chair screeched backwards, the noise grating against his ears. He hadn't meant to look at who it was, but it was reflexive. Pidge was standing now, her eyes piercing into his. It was so intense he was pretty sure she could see right through him at that moment. See just how pathetic and hopeless he was.

“No, we're not going to just pretend like this never happened.” Pidge grit out, voice hard. “You're clearly not okay, and we're not fine with that. We just want to help you. Why aren't you understanding that?”

He needed to leave, needed to breathe. If he stayed any longer, he wouldn't be able to keep it together. He couldn't even manage a response, barely managing to shake his head once before turning into a swift walk towards the doors. Pidge was calling after him, but another voice cut in, quieting her. It sounded like Shiro. He didn't care.

Once he was back in the hallway, his walk turned into a run, legs burning with the effort suddenly placed on them.

 _Blue. Blue. Blue._ Lance's mind struggled to think straight, reaching for his Lion frantically. _I want to see you._

And he felt her, immediately filling him with a warmth that he barely felt over the tightness in his chest. But she was there, waiting in the hangar. He pushed his legs even harder, not caring at how his lungs burned with the need to keep up with his haphazard breathing.

When he arrived, he spotted Blue even from the distance, particle barrier already dissolved and mouth open. He ran the whole way, not stopping until he felt himself cross the divide that brought him to the cockpit. His legs stumbled to a stop then, already reaching their limit. Then again, he'd just gotten out a pod and barely replenished his strength with what little he ate. He hadn't had much energy since the beginning. Lance didn't make it to the chair like he wanted to, sinking onto his knees towards the ground as he gasped for air.

He couldn't breathe. He kept trying to, but it was so hard. Each breath felt like he was trying to inhale a brick instead of oxygen. Blue was there, desperately trying to wrap him up in a sense of comfort and ease, but it hardly made a difference. All he could do was focus on the ground, his arms wrapped across his stomach in a feeble attempt to stop the tremors running through his entire body.

Stupid, stupid, he'd made such a stupid mistake. Saying all that in front of everyone, there was no way he could pretend like nothing happened now. Even worse, he'd probably confirmed his worst fears through their reactions. They were disappointed, they had to be. An image of Shiro flicked back into his mind, his expression etched into his memory like an ugly carving.

What was going to happen now? Were they going to kick him out and replace him? It wasn't a far off thought. He was the weak link, replaceable. His chest tightened even more, painful enough to draw tears. They were going to kick him out. He failed them. Failed the universe.

Then suddenly, Lance felt Blue again, her presence briefly overpowering all of his thoughts. It wrapped around him like a big blanket, warm and supportive and fierce. He lifted his head towards the controls from where he knelt, eyes wide and breaths ragged.

 _Breathe. Calm down and breathe_ , Blue seemed to be saying. Lance tried, squeezing his eyes shut—he felt a few tears escape and track down his face—and forcing himself to count out each inhale and exhale. It took a few tries, but Lance managed to stop hyperventilating, the tightness in his chest even loosening a bit. It still hurt, but he was breathing.

He could feel Blue more after he calmed down, her worry clearly palpable in his mind. All he seemed to be doing today was trouble people—even Lions now. The memory from the kitchen, which had faded away once Blue intervened, rose back up like a fresh scar. The scene replayed itself behind his eyes, vivid and taunting. Lance swallowed thickly, feeling tears starting to clog his throat again. He let them fall this time, sorrow replacing the panic he'd been drowning in. It was all too much now.

“Blue,” Lance sobbed, voice breaking. “I messed up. I messed up.”

Vaguely, he felt Blue trying to reach him again, her grief matching his own. Lance kept crying, too overwhelmed to calm himself down anymore. Everything just hurt. He clutched his stomach again, leaning forward until his forehead touched the ground.

“I messed up so bad.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHHA... writer's block is a terrible thing :( literally rewrote this chapter like 5 times ugh I LITERALLY WOULD TYPE 6 PAGES AND THEN REALIZE THE CHAPTER DIDN'T SOUND RIGHT AND START OVER 
> 
> but ok i promise the next update won't take as long as this (especially since this chapter is so short I'M SORRY), cause i've got a better idea of how i want to write the next chapter T~T

When Lance left the room, Hunk was already moving to go after him. Pidge was a bit faster, although both of them came to a halt at Shiro's voice.

“Hold on, wait.” Shiro pressed, one arm raised for good measure. He blew out a breath, a troubled look on his face. Hunk shifted his weight between his feet, tempted to start moving towards the doors again.

Pidge huffed impatiently, hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. “Wait for what? Did you not just hear what he was saying? We have to--”

“We can't all go chasing after him.” Shiro cut in, voice firm. “He asked to be alone, we can't just go drive him into a corner again.” Hunk winced slightly at his words, as if they'd actually pricked at his skin. He'd seen Lance have his bad days back at the Garrison, but...this was different. Back then, Lance went straight to him when he was feeling down, flopping wordlessly against Hunk's back until he felt comfortable enough to talk about what was bothering him. But today, Lance barely looked him in the eyes before he left.

That in itself bothered Hunk immensely. Lance didn't usually like being on his own. It was why he always sought out Hunk during tough situations. What was he supposed to do now?

Well, he already knew what he wanted to do. His feet began propelling him towards the doors again. “I'll go see Lance by myself then.”

“What?” Pidge was already marching to catch up to Hunk's head-start. “Wait, I want to--”

Hunk reached the door first, turning so that his back was facing and blocking the exit. Pidge noticed, coming to a stop with a frown. She looked indignant, posture stiff and glare sharper than he'd ever seen. Had this been any other situation, Hunk actually might have stepped aside for her.

“I'm just going to check on him. If he tells me to leave, I will.” Hunk said, sneaking a glance at where Shiro stood. He hadn't moved from his original position, and neither had anyone else except for Pidge. Shiro's expression was strained, but Hunk knew it was more of worry—worry for Lance—than anything. “Like Shiro said, it might be too much if all of us went after him. I'm his closest friend here, so I think it'd be better if I went alone first.”

The silence that fell over the group was short, but heavy. Surprisingly, it was Keith who broke it.

“Hunk's right.” Keith sunk back down into his seat, arms crossed. The dissatisfied expression on his face said otherwise, but he must have found some merit in Hunk's claim. “It's better than all of us sitting around and doing nothing for now.”

Pidge was the next one to speak, letting out a long breath before slowly nodding. “Okay. I'll leave it to you, then.” She didn't seem too satisfied, but it was enough.

“Don't push him to talk if he doesn't want to.” Shiro added.

“I won't, I won't.” To be honest, Hunk wasn't even sure if Lance was going to talk to him. At worst, he'd be driven away and things would be as bad as they were now. He knew he had to be careful with how he approached this. Another thought hit him, and he glanced over at where Coran stood. “By the way, could someone handle dinner? If I get through to Lance, I'll stop by later and pick up his share of food if he chooses to eat late. He'll probably need extra portions.” The pod showed that Lance been malnourished while recovering, so there was no way he wasn't starving. Even if Lance declined dinner, he was gonna bring a plate up.

Coran perked up, nodding eagerly. “Of course. The Princess and I will take care of that.” Allura turned towards Coran at his words, a mild look of surprise on her expression. It instantly morphed into one of understanding, and she looked back towards Hunk with a firm nod.

“We will handle dinner. Hurry and go to Lance.”

Hunk felt his shoulders relax a bit. Just a bit. He had a bigger problem to focus on. “Thanks, guys. I'll be back later.”

The walk to the hangar felt longer than usual, even with Hunk speed-walking. He took a few breaths, wondering how he was supposed to approach this. He felt Yellow brush at the back of his mind, calm and reassuring. Right, he shouldn't overthink it. What's important was making sure Lance knew he had support.

When he arrived, he blew out a small breath of relief to see that Blue's particle barrier wasn't at least up. Blue was curled up, head resting on her paws like some huge, cautious cat. Hunk nearly reached the tip of her paws when she shifted slightly, pulling back as if to create more distance. Don't get any closer, she was saying. He got the point, amending himself by taking a few steps backwards with his hands raised.

“Lance? Can you hear me?” Hunk tested, eyes scanning for any other movement from Blue. There was none. He lowered his arms, clearing his throat. “I'm alone. It's just me. The others are still in the kitchen. I just...wanted to make sure you're okay, dude.”

The silence made Hunk wonder if Lance was even listening. He didn't have to ponder much on it, because Blue's head moved, fixing her gaze directly on him.

“I'm okay.” Lance said, voice magnified thanks to Blue. His voice sounded so hoarse, as if he'd been crying—or screaming—for too long. The mere thought of that was enough to make Hunk feel sick to his stomach. He'd never seen Lance this bad before.

“Is it alright if I stayed here with you for now?” Hunk held his breath for this one.

There was a beat of silence. “Yeah.”

Hunk exhaled, feeling the relief tickle at his chest. He settled onto the ground, crossing his legs together. “Okay, I'll stay. Thanks, buddy.”

And then the silence returned, this time more awkward on Hunk's side. He stared at Blue, fingers drumming against his leg. He knew better than to just offer up some words of support that Lance wouldn't believe. After what he saw in the kitchen, that was a bad idea. Yellow was mentally nudging him again, still ever the advocate that he shouldn't ponder too much on how to talk to his best friend. Which was true. He was just trying to find the right words.

“How mad is everyone?”

Hunk blinked, straightening up like he'd been stung with electricity at Lance's question. “What? No one's mad, Lance.”

Lance sniffled. “You don't have to lie to make me feel better, man.”

“I wouldn't lie about this, seriously.” Hunk said, feeling his chest tighten painfully. Was that why Lance hid here? Because he thought everyone was upset at him? “No one's mad at you. I swear.”

“Shiro looked mad.” Lance mumbled, voice getting considerably more quiet as the conversation went on. He sounded ashamed, like a kid who'd been caught doing something they shouldn't have.

Shiro? Hunk opened his mouth, but no words came out. There was definitely a misunderstanding here. “Shiro's not mad, dude. He was sad, yeah, but not angry. We're all sad that you kept putting yourself down.”

Blue moved again, curling a bit more into herself. Lance's voice was small, miserable. “Sorry.”

Hunk shook his head even if Lance couldn't see him. “Not what I meant. You don't have to apologize, Lance. We just want to help.”

“It's nothing. It won't happen again.” Lance huffed out a breath, a weak attempt at a laugh. “I'm just tired. I haven't exactly been sleeping in the most comfortable places these past few days.”

The conversation was going in the completely opposite direction from what Hunk wanted. He stared hard at Blue's still silhouette, feeling a bit helpless. This would be a lot easier if he could see Lance, read his expressions and maybe give him a hug while talking. He was a lot better with physical comfort. But he didn't have the time to be picky with his options right now. Lance was sitting in there, trying to push him and everyone else away, trying to take on whatever burden was weighing him down all on his own. Blue might be an exception, but she could only do so much. And that was unacceptable.

“Come on, Lance,” Hunk started. “We're best friends. I know when something's bothering you, and you've been through some rough stuff. Don't take that all on yourself, man.”

Lance didn't respond right away this time, which Hunk expected. He was going to wait as long as he needed to, if it meant being able to do something. And Lance finally spoke, voice so low Hunk had to lean forward to catch the words drifting through.

“I don't want to be a burden to anyone.”

His words seemed to clog up Hunk's chest, making it exponentially harder to breathe. It was getting clear that Lance wasn't like this just because of recent events, which made things even worse. The fact that no one—not even Hunk—had done enough make Lance realize how vital he was to this team was terrible, and it needed to be remedied immediately.

The words spilled out in a rush, Hunk's voice more heated in his attempts to emphasize his point. “You're not a burden, you're _not_. Lance, I promise no one thinks that about you. We're a team, and we all have each other's backs. Talking to us is never a burden—we want to do whatever we can to help.”

“It's not just talking, Hunk.” Lance said, voice trembling. “It's everything. I'm not doing enough for the team. I keep...messing up.”

Hunk wanted to cry, he really did. He couldn't believe Lance believed that enough to be saying it out loud. He needed to fix this. One way or another, he had to.

“Lance. Listen to me. You're enough. You're enough and more.” He pressed forward before Lance could interrupt. “The Princess didn't just name you the Blue Paladin for no reason. Do you think Blue would've chosen just anyone to be her partner? She waited _all_ that time on Earth until you finally found her! Sure, there are things you can work to improve on, but so does everyone else. That's just how it is. What matters is that we rely on each other and work together. Isn't that what a team is?”

When Lance didn't respond, Hunk finally forced himself back onto his feet, ignoring the slight pain that accompanied sitting in one position for too long. Blue eyed him almost solemnly, still unmoving from her curled up position. It reminded Hunk of a lion protecting her cub, and he was glad that Blue didn't shift away again when he took a step forward.

“Look,” Hunk said. “I'm not saying that everything's gonna be alright now. I know you need time to overcome this. But you don't have to do that on your own. Just... believe me when I say that you're not bringing this team down and that we all care about you. Okay?”

Please believe him, Hunk thought desperately. He wanted so badly for Lance to believe his words. Yellow's steady support at the back of his mind was main thing that was helping him think with some clarity, and he clung onto the feeling as he stood, hands clenched at his sides. And finally— _finally—_ Blue moved, tilting her jaw towards the ground and slowly opening her mouth before coming to a still once more. Hunk felt his breath catch, already feeling his body leaning to move. Lance was inside. He needed to go. Almost cautiously, he took a step forward. Then another, before he was all but sprinting the last few feet inside Blue and towards the cockpit.

Lance was sitting on the ground behind the pilot chair, hugging the top of his knees and burying his head in his arms. Hunk stood panting near the entryway, eyes glued to the figure in front of him. Lance shifted, sluggishly raising his head with what looked like a great amount of effort. His eyes looked empty, yet they filled with tears the instant they met Hunk's, threatening to spill over and make even more tracks down the sides of his cheeks.

Hunk didn't think, the giant ache in his chest pushing him forward until he all but collapsed onto the ground in front of Lance. He maneuvered himself so that Lance—who was still in his curled upright position—was situated between Hunk's legs. And then he reached forward, wrapping his arms around Lance's shoulders and gently turning him sideways to pull him into a hug. Lance kept his arms loosely around his knees, but let his head fall against Hunk's chest. Maybe he simply didn't have the strength to react, but Hunk didn't care.

“Lance, I'm sorry,” Hunk mumbled, resting a hand against Lance's head before carefully carding through his hair. “I'm sorry you're hurting. And I'm sorry it's a pain that the healing pods can't fix. We'll all do whatever we can to help. I promise.”

Lance trembled for a moment, and Hunk hugged him a bit tighter. A few tears had already made their way down Hunk's face, streaking quick paths along his skin. And then Lance spoke again, voice thick with unshed tears.

“I'm not getting kicked out?”

Hunk's breath caught, horrified at the mere prospect. He sniffled, nuzzling his cheek against the top of Lance's head. “Definitely not. You're stuck with us, buddy. We all need you here. Please believe that.”

He didn't reply, but Hunk felt one of Lance's hands reaching for the front of Hunk's shirt before clenching weakly at the fabric. It was a start. And that was enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick question for those who watched the series (yes i know i'm terrible and haven't started it yet but the season 3 trailer still had me hyped) - does the training area for the paladins have a shooting simulation? i know they do close combat practice with the robot things and teamwork stuff, but has there been like a target practice thing in the show before? 
> 
> ALSO i know the simulations have levels of difficulty, and i was wondering what the highest level that's been seen is so far. if there's no shooting sim, then the highest level from whatever training sim is fine too. i just need a reference for a future chapter and need to know what level/stage number is considered average and whatnot ><


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T____T ok i swear i thought i'd write this chapter a lot faster, but at least it's long... still sorry though :(
> 
> on the other hand, i watched the entirety of season 3!! i'm definitely gonna watch the first 2 seasons sooner or later if it's the last thing i do but i love lotor's character ty can't wait to see how he develops but lance will always be #1 in my heart

Shiro and Pidge were still in the kitchen when Hunk stepped inside. Two bowls with spoons were set aside next to the pair, filled with some sort of stew Hunk had never seen. But still, it smelled great.

“It's some sort of Altean stew, apparently.” Pidge supplied, catching Hunk's stare. “Coran and the Princess said that this supposedly has soothing components for the body.”

“Smells delicious, too.” Hunk reached for the bowls, resisting the urge to hightail it for Lance's room yet. “Where's Keith?”

“Training deck,” Shiro answered. “Said he needed a distraction.”

Hunk nodded, not really that surprised at the answer. He let his gaze fall on the bowl of stew, steam still billowing from both portions. It was a brilliant shade of orange, but he caught bits of what he assumed were vegetables floating in little pieces. His stomach rumbled appreciatively at the lingering aroma, and he forced himself to look away before he decided to just eat the entire bowl right then and there. He turn towards Pidge instead, who looked more than a bit anxious as she eyed him. “Are you okay though, Pidge?”

Pidge blew out a breath, neither nodding nor shaking her head. “I'm doing better. Shiro's been helping me.” Her eyes flicked behind him before they landed back on him. “More importantly, how's Lance? Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah,” Hunk said, slightly glad he could deliver some good news. “He's taking a shower in his room right now. I'm gonna take dinner over there and eat with him.”

“Can I go see him, too?” Pidge asked.

Hunk hesitated, fingers tapping slowly against the side of the bowl. “It...might be better if you talked to him tomorrow. He said he wanted to calm down before seeing everyone else again.”

A frown touched Pidge's face, but it looked like she'd been expecting the answer. “Alright. But did you tell him? That he's not baggage to the team?”

“Yes, definitely,” Hunk answered that immediately. “We still have a lot to fix, but it's a start.”

A subdued silence fell over the group, but Shiro reached out, gently patting Hunk on the shoulder. “You did well. You should take the stew up to Lance before it gets too cold.”

“Right...” Hunk pondered for just a minute before deciding to say it. “Uh, Shiro?” He fiddled with how he should phrase it, since he didn't exactly know the solid story yet. “Lance seems to think you're mad at him for some reason.”

Shiro blinked, alarm slowly creeping into his features. “Mad? Me?”

“I told him you weren't.” Hunk quickly supplied. “It's just...I dunno, it would probably be better if he heard it from you later on, though.”

Shiro stared at the ground for a moment, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Then he nodded slowly, offering Hunk a small grin. “I'll make sure to talk to him. Thanks for telling me, Hunk.”

Hunk nodded, satisfied that he got through most of what he needed to report. His mind flashed back to Lance, and he felt his urge to get back to the room jumpstart again. He wanted to get back around when Lance finished showering. So he wouldn't be sitting there on his own for too long.

He grabbed a bowl in each hand, careful not to let any spill over the edge. “I'll head over to Lance, then. See you guys tomorrow.”

Pidge and Shiro murmured their goodnights, quietly watching him maneuver towards the door when Hunk stopped and gingerly spun back around.

“Wait, Pidge. One more thing...”

 

* * *

 

 

When Hunk knocked on Lance's door, precariously juggling two bowls of soup and a pillow under his arm, he was surprised when the door slid open almost instantly. Lance stood there, hair still damp from his shower, and he quickly stepped aside so Hunk could get in. Hunk opted to settle towards the ground next to Lance's bed, gently setting the bowls down before easing his pillow behind his back against the bedside.

Lance shuffled over and sat down across from Hunk, eyeing the bowls for a while before he finally looked up. He definitely looked a lot better after a shower, but the weariness was still rolling off him in waves.

“Allura and Coran made it. Apparently it's a good stew for the body.” Hunk explained, reaching for his own bowl and taking a spoonful. “Mmm... It tastes like tomato soup, man.”

Hunk took two more spoonfuls in before Lance finally moved, slowly pulling his bowl towards him and lifting it onto his knee. He took one bite, then another, and another. A ghost of a smile touched Lance's face as he swallowed a fourth spoonful.

“You're right. Kinda tastes like tomato soup.”

The tightness in Hunk's shoulders loosened just a bit, glad that Lance was at least responding. But the air between them still felt stagnated, any form of conversation feeling like it would die out within seconds of its beginning. They finished their bowls in relative silence, partly because Hunk had been occupied with the soup and partly because he wasn't sure what to say. Was he overthinking this again? Probably.

After Lance finished his portion, he handed over the bowl and spoon when Hunk held out a hand. Hunk scooted over a bit, pushing the stacked bowls into a corner before settling back against his pillow. He crossed his legs, patting the ground in front of him. “C'mere. Your hair's still wet.”

Lance blinked, glancing down as if he just remembered he'd still kept his towel hanging across his shoulders. It only took a beat before Lance complied, making his way over and sitting with his back facing Hunk. The rest of it was a routine, with Hunk grabbing the towel and gently ruffling it through Lance's hair. They'd done this a few times back in the Garrison, when Lance was feeling too lazy and Hunk was always happy to comply. Doing it again felt comfortable, relaxing.

“Are you feeling better?” Hunk finally asked, his hands slowly starting to cease their movements with the towel. He considered placing the towel back along Lance's shoulders again, but thought better of it and tossed it somewhere to the side.

Lance was silent for a bit, his back stiff. Hunk waited, deciding to give it a few seconds before he would consider changing the subject to avoid another awkward lull.

“Yeah, I guess.” Lance said, voice quiet.

It wasn't really that convincing, but Hunk didn't press on it. “It's okay if you need time to feel better. That's perfectly normal. We'll all help, too.” He pondered for a second on his next few words, but swallowed down his hesitation. “And I told the others that you probably wanted some time alone today, but...is it alright if they talked to you tomorrow?” Hunk didn't even need to see Lance's expression to feel the panic rise in the room. “If you don't want to talk about things, we won't push for it. That was our mistake. We just want to... you know. Be there for you.”

The silence was longer this time, and Hunk didn't dare try to break it. This one needed an answer, even if it wasn't one he wanted.

Lance took a deep breath, his back straightening before he exhaled. When he leaned backwards, Hunk immediately opened his posture so that Lance could comfortably situate himself against Hunk's chest. Almost reflexively, Hunk's hand moved towards Lance's now-dry hair, softly carding through the locks affectionately.

“I'll talk to them,” Lance said. “I'll...be better tomorrow.”

Hunk hummed quietly, considering Lance's words. “You don't have to force yourself to be 'better', man. It's okay to not feel okay sometimes.”

“Not when we're fighting in a _war_ , Hunk.” Lance's voice was a bit louder this time, and Hunk could've sworn Lance was trembling a bit. He kept his hand steady in Lance's hair, desperate to give even a little comfort. “I don't have the luxury to be moping when the universe is at stake.”

“Paladin or not, you're still human.” Hunk let his hand rest against Lance's head, gently tucking it under his chin. “You're allowed to feel emotions, good and bad. And if it gets too much, it's okay to rely on other people. We'll never, _never_ , push you away for something like that.”

Lance shifted, hugging his legs against his chest. “I just wanna do better, catch up to you guys,” he mumbled, voice low.

Hunk felt the urge to just grab Lance into a bear hug and refuse to let go unless Lance finally stopped putting himself down, but forced himself to stay calm. He felt as if Lance's misery was only multiplying tenfold in his chest. “Buddy, you're already amazing in your own way. You have skills that none of us can hope to match up to. But we're all still improving and have lots of things to discover, and that's alright too.” He blew out a light breath. “We're all improving together.”

It didn't seem like Lance was going to reply this time, but Hunk didn't mind. The conversation had been going way better than he'd expected, which was already a plus. When Lance shifted, Hunk leaned back, letting him reposition so that they were both facing each other.

“Thanks for bringing me dinner.” Lance said, a small grin on his face. His expression was still subdued, only serving to make the smile look strained. “And for talking to me. You should probably head back and sleep...”

Hunk tilted his head, questioning. “I'm sleeping here, though?” Lance's eyes widened, and Hunk patted the pillow behind him. “Why else would I have brought this bad boy? A sleepover has been way overdue.” He paused. “If you don't mind.”

“I don't,” Lance answered quickly, shaking his head. “We can share the bed.”

Relief hit Hunk in a wave, and he grinned widely. “Sounds good.” He pulled his pillow out from behind and turned around to crawl onto the bed. The mattress was way better than the floor, the need to rest suddenly incredibly enticing. He looked over at Lance, who was still staring at him from the ground. “Uh, Lance? You coming?”

“You can sleep first.”

Hunk frowned slightly. “I want to sleep after you do. Why, are you not tired?”

“... I am,” Lance said carefully.

It didn't take long for Hunk to reach a conclusion, as bad as it was. “Are you afraid of getting nightmares?”

A long pause, and Lance ducked his head, as if embarrassed. Then he nodded.

Hunk felt his chest tighten, mostly in anger at the Galra that had been responsible for this. He hated everything they had done to both Lance and Pidge. “If I hear you having a nightmare, I'll wake you up. Right away.” He gestured next to him. “Here, sleep right next to me so that I notice faster.”

After a long moment, Hunk watched Lance take a deep breath before shuffling to his feet and scooting into bed. Hunk had immediately moved aside towards the wall, flipping the blanket upwards and letting it cover Lance once he settled down. He stayed sitting upright, but moved so that the side of his leg was practically touching Lance's side.

“This alright?” Hunk asked, patting the blanket over Lance gently.

Lance nodded, looking evidently more exhausted once he'd fully relaxed in a bed. It hit Hunk that this was actually Lance's first time back in his bed after a few days. The realization was a stab at Hunk's chest, but he made himself smile nonetheless.

“Get some sleep, man. You deserve it.”

“You'll wake me up if I have a nightmare?” Lance asked, his eyes already drooping shut.

“Definitely. Want me to turn off the lights?”

Lance mumbled something, shaking his head slightly. “You can later... when you're sleepin'...”

Hunk grinned, glad that Lance was at least falling asleep relatively quickly. He needed all the rest he could get to feel better. He watched Lance's chest rise and fall for a while, making sure he was actually asleep and watching for any telltale signs of a nightmare starting. But he fell asleep soundly, and no nightmares were coming, so Hunk let himself relax. Just a bit.

He shifted slightly, rummaging through his pajama pocket and fishing out the thing he'd requested from Pidge earlier. Another prototype of the communication bracelet that Pidge had used during the previous mission. Ever since Pidge had managed to make contact with the ship after regular comm lines went down, Hunk had been eager to take a look at it and see if he could tweak some parts.

Pidge had told him the gist of it, on how it only had 3 functions for basic operation and calling depending on the tap combination. It was probably way more complicated than it was, but he'd fiddle around with it and see how it worked.

The bracelet was slim, definitely not big enough to wrap around Hunk's wrist. Maybe he could make it so that it could be adjusted to fit any size. Reaching back into his pocket for the few tools he'd brought along, he tried getting a better look at its inner mechanics. With Pidge's permission, of course.

Hunk spent a while tinkering around, just taking it apart and putting it back together. Pidge had done a lot of work on such a small thing. He couldn't help but be impressed, not that he didn't expect any less from her. He'd definitely be going to her to exchange more ideas later on.

Lance had been quiet ever since he'd fallen asleep, barely moving from his original position. Hunk glanced over every so often, but mostly felt reassured when he listened to the steady inhales and exhales of his breathing.

And when Lance's breaths started to hitch, Hunk immediately felt his hands go still, his stomach clenching uneasily. Lance's relaxed expression had already tensed up when Hunk looked, the beginnings of a grimace starting to spread.

The bracelet and tools all but abandoned on the blanket, Hunk shifted to the side, carefully reaching out a hand towards Lance's shoulder. “Lance, buddy. Wake up. It's just a dream.”

Lance's breathing only grew more ragged, a small whimper escaping his mouth. That small sound itself felt like a punch to Hunk's throat, and this time he grabbed Lance's shoulder, shaking it gently. “Lance. Wake up.”

“No...” Lance mumbled, shrinking in on himself, nearly hyperventilating at this point. “Don't... Stop...”

Hunk didn't hold back this time, shaking Lance a bit more frantically as he leaned over to grab Lance's other shoulder with his free hand. “ _Hey._ It's a bad dream, Lance. Wake up!”

And finally, Lance's eyes shot open, sitting upright with such speed that he barely missed headbutting Hunk's face at full force. Hunk startled back, his mind racing with a million thoughts. Would touching him make it worse? Should he just talk it out? Was he even capable of doing that well enough?

Lance was already crying, tremors running all through his body. The range of motion from when he had sat up nearly had Lance's head touching his knees, but not quite. His hands clenched tightly at the sheets on top of his legs, which was also getting spotted with teardrops.

It was enough to make Hunk want to cry. He wanted to take any nightmare and drag them away before it could even get near Lance. He wished he could've dealt with the Galara commander that had detained Lance and Pidge himself. But it wasn't the time for hypotheticals, not when Lance needed him. Hunk moved to let the bed shift, as to not startle Lance with his presence. “Lance. It's me, Hunk. I'm here.”

Lance made no motion to show that he'd heard Hunk. “Dead... She's dead...” He mumbled repeatedly, voice choked up with tears. His breaths were getting irregular to the point where Hunk almost feared he might get a panic attack.

Hunk moved, setting a hand on top of Lance's clenched ones as lightly as he could. Lance jerked upright at the touch, eyes finally snapping over towards him. His gaze was wild, almost unfocused. But a bit of recognition seemed to creep back into his eyes when they spotted Hunk.

“Lance,” Hunk said calmly, giving him a sad smile. “It was a bad dream. You're alright.”

The words did nothing to calm Lance down. If anything, he seemed to get even more rigid at Hunk's words. “No it's not. S-she's dead, she's dead. My fault... I couldn't... couldn't do anything...” His breath hitched, sending him into a coughing fit.

Hunk almost didn't want to ask who Lance was talking about. But that wasn't the bigger problem here. He reached for Lance's shoulders again, carefully turning him so that they were facing each other. “Lance. Breathe with me, okay? Do that first.” Lance was staring at him, eyes wide with panic, tears still streaking down his face. And he nodded shakily. “Alright. Breathe in... Good. Now out. Do it again.”

After a few more, it felt like Lance had almost stopped trembling. But he was still crying, even if they were silent tears at this point. Once Lance's breathing evened out, Hunk reached up his sleeve, trying to dry off some of the tears.

“Are you feeling better?” Hunk asked.

Lance kept his gaze locked onto Hunk, almost as if he were afraid to look away. “Hunk...” He whispered, trembling. “P-Pidge... Pidge's dead.”

Alarm raced through Hunk's body, and he briefly wondered if he'd heard right. Pidge? He had a nightmare that Pidge died? Just the thought sounded horrifying, and Hunk couldn't imagine what Lance had experienced in his mind. “She's not, Lance. Pidge is fine. She's alive.”

Lance shook his head frantically. “No, I _saw_ her die. Right in front of me.” His voice was getting louder. “She _died_ , and I couldn't do anything... I just..” He stopped, trying to take in a shaky breath. The amount of pain and horror that had laced Lance's voice was enough to have even Hunk thinking it was almost real.

But it wasn't. It definitely wasn't. And he had to let Lance know that. Hunk took in a breath of his own before he got to his knees and carefully made his way around Lance and onto the floor. Lance followed him with his eyes, not moving from his position. He'd stopped crying, but his eyes were still brimming with unshed tears.

Hunk bent over, hoping he had what looked like a comforting smile on his face. “Here, come with me.” His hands gripped Lance's, gently relaxing them to release the blanket crumpled up in his fists. “Can you walk?”

Confusion filled Lance's face. “Where are we going?”

“To go see Pidge.”

This time, the panic was back in Lance's eyes. “No, I don't...! I don't want to see her d--”

“She's alive, Lance. I swear.”

When Lance still refused to move, Hunk knelt onto the ground, directing all of his focus on the person in front of him. “Hey, do you trust me?” He reached up towards Lance's face, wiping away a stray tear that had been making its way down.

Lance nodded jerkily, struggling to keep his breaths even. “Y-yeah.”

Hunk smiled again, desperately wishing it would at least help give Lance a sense of ease. “Then come on. Let's go. I promise I won't do anything to hurt you.”

This time, when Hunk lightly tugged at one of Lance's hands, he let him. They both got up, quietly stepping out and walking down the empty hall. It felt slightly chillier with them wandering around in thin pajamas, and Hunk slightly regretted not grabbing Lance's jacket for him on the way out. But Pidge's room wasn't that far, so he just focused on getting there quickly, his hand still loosely wrapped around Lance's wrist.

Soon, they reached her room, and Hunk knocked as quietly as he could. Given Pidge's sleeping schedule, she was probably awake at this time. Sure enough, he heard footsteps before the door slid open. Pidge stood there, wearing the disgruntled expression she always wore when someone interrupted her while she was working.

Hunk barely opened his mouth to explain the situation when Lance dove forward, hugging Pidge with such force it nearly knocked the two of them over. Pidge yelped, barely catching her balance. Had this been any other time, she probably would've complained and shoved him off, but this time her arms immediately returned the hug, grabbing him just as tightly.

Hunk heard Lance crying again, his back shaking with sobs. Pidge murmured something, most likely trying to calm him down, to no avail. She straightened up, trying to glance at Hunk from over Lance's shoulder, her expression filled with nothing but worry.

“Nightmare”, Hunk mouthed.

Understanding flooded Pidge's face before it crumpled with sorrow. Her hands gripped at the fabric on Lance's back, and they both stood there hugging each other for a long time. Hunk didn't mind, watching the two carefully. This was a lot worse than he'd imagined. He was definitely glad that he'd decided to sleep in Lance's room tonight.

Lance was the first to pull apart from the hug, mumbling an apology under his breath. Pidge frowned, quick to tell him to stop apologizing before he'd even finished his sentence. When she let them step inside, Hunk wasn't surprised to see that her room was still filled with the lights of computer screens and other gadgets scattered across the floor. Pidge led them towards a cleaner area near the bed, almost exactly like where Hunk and Lance had been sitting while they ate. She grabbed her blanket and spread it on the floor, reaching over and handing Lance her pillow. He took it wordlessly, clutching it against his chest once he sat down.

Pidge was the first to speak after they settled in a small circle. “Did... you dream about the white room?”

There was a heavy silence, one that Hunk didn't break mostly because he had no idea what Pidge was talking about. But when Lance finally nodded, he held up one hand in protest. “Wait, wait. What's this about a white room? You mentioned it only for like a second last time.”

Pidge sighed, glancing at Lance before she turned to Hunk. She looked as exhausted as Lance, dark circles already starting to gather under her eyes again. “Yeah, uh, that was because the details...aren't that pretty. Xaglar took me there once. They separate you with this transparent glass and somehow generate this... hologram, I guess.” She grimaced, staring down at her lap.

Hunk felt a dawning sense of dread creeping at Pidge's words, but he swallowed it down. “Pidge, if you don't want to talk about it... Don't.”

She shook her head, looking him right back in the eyes. Her expression was steeled, determined. “No, it's fine. I think... I'll feel better if I talk about it.” Hunk took a moment to look at how Lance was taking it, but Lance was too busy watching Pidge to notice. The pillow was still tight against his chest, but he didn't look too distressed. Just seeing Pidge seemed to have calmed him down immensely, which was good enough for now.

“In my case, it was a hologram of Lance.” Pidge continued, catching Hunk's attention once more. “I didn't know it was fake at first, though. It was way too realistic.” Her voice grew strained, but she kept going. “A guard dragged him in, and Xaglar said that he would hurt Lance if I didn't talk about Voltron. I wouldn't, and so they started hurting him. Beating him. If you'd seen and heard it, there was almost no way you wouldn't believe it was real. I just got lucky in catching it.”

Hunk felt like he was swallowing sandpaper. He almost wished he hadn't heard it, but he was glad he had. “Did... Did you watch Lance die, too?” It was a terrible question, but he couldn't stop himself from asking.

Pidge shook her head hard. “I stopped watching and listening once I had my doubts. By the time I looked back around, he was gone. I was so glad. So glad I was right. If I'd been wrong...” Her voice started to tremble, and she quickly stopped talking, ducking her head.

“Pidge.” Lance's voice was incredibly steady, and both she and Hunk turned to look at where he sat. His eyes were still slightly swollen and red from crying, but there was a tenderness to his expression that even had Hunk's chest tighten with comfort. Pillow abandoned in his lap, Lance spread open his arms. “I'm here, aren't I? C'mere.”

The response was instantaneous, and Pidge promptly crawled over into another quick hug before she nuzzled against his side, letting out a small sniffle that both he and Hunk pretended not to hear.

“I'm sorry for what happened earlier in the kitchen.” Pidge said, dejected. “I shouldn't have tried to push you.”

Lance had stiffened just slightly at the mention of the earlier events, his eyes immediately seeking Hunk for some reason. Hunk smiled reassuringly out of instinct, and the tension in Lance's shoulders relaxed just a bit as his eyes fell back onto the floor.

“It's okay. I'm sorry for freaking out.”

“You don't gotta apologize for that. I took it too far.”

“I'm apologizing anyways.”

Pidge grumbled. “Fine. But I wish you'd talk to one of us if something's bothering you. No one thinks you're baggage or anything like that.”

Lance didn't reply, and this time, neither Pidge nor Hunk tried to push it. It was clear Lance was still disagreeing on the notion, which was both frustrating and heart-breaking at the same time. Fixing this took time. And if Lance shut himself out again, Hunk would just seek him out again and do what he could to help.

Hunk cleared his throat, heaving himself to his feet. “Alright, I think it's time for us Paladins to get their beauty sleep.” He held up a hand as Pidge started to open her mouth. “Uh-uh, you're sleeping too. Is it alright if Lance and I have a sleepover here?”

“Wha—wait, my bed's way too small for--”

“It's alright, we can sleep on the floor. I'll go bring two more blankets and our pillows.” Hunk chirped, grinning and leaving out the door before Pidge could protest anything.

When he returned with arms completely full, Lance and Pidge were still situated near the bed, although they'd straightened out the blanket on the floor. Hunk shuffled over, extravagantly dumping the blankets and pillows on the ground. He grabbed one of the blankets, spreading it over the one already on the ground for a second layer. After adjusting the pillows neatly in a row, Hunk flopped down in the middle, spreading his arms out to the sides.

“Alright then,” Hunk said lightly. “Let the cuddle pile begin.”

Pidge remained where she had been standing, eyes dubious. “You want us to lie on your arms? I don't think that's good for your circulation.”

“I'll be fine. Trust me, I have a certification as a human pillow.” He grinned when Lance moved, lying on his back with his head comfortably nestled against Hunk's upper arm. Hunk loosely put his hand around Lance's shoulder, tugging him just a bit closer. “I can notice a lot faster if either of you two are having nightmares this way. It's fine if you don't wanna.”

After pondering a bit longer, Pidge finally caved, sighing and moving to turn off the lights and her computer. Hunk felt Lance relax a bit more once it got darker, the immediate need for sleep reemerging again. He heard Pidge shuffle over, careful not to trip over anything before she got under the covers, pulling the blanket up to cover the three of them. Her head flopped onto his arm, instantly seeking a comfortable position before she let out another sigh, this time of relaxation.

“Feel free to push me off if your arm starts feeling numb.” Pidge whispered, drowsiness already lacing her voice.

Hunk huffed out a laugh, using his arm to pull her a bit closer too. “Yeah, yeah. Good night.”

“Night...” Pidge mumbled.

For a few minutes, Hunk just listened to them breathe, glad they'd been able to fall asleep easily. He prayed furiously that the nightmares would stay away this time, letting his eyes fall shut. His head sunk deeper against his pillow, sleep creeping into the back of his mind. He had no doubt that if anything disturbed Pidge or Lance, he'd be awake within seconds to counter it.

But for now, he'd sleep.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not that happy with this chapter, but i've decided to go with it after like 4592 rewrites :/ bear with me pls

Lance woke up uncomfortably warm, as if half of his body was lying right next to a campfire. He blinked blearily, trying to shift into a cooler position when he felt something locking him in place. An arm? His vision cleared, and he caught sight of Hunk sleeping, the light sound of snoring beginning to trickle into his ears now that his body started to wake up.

Oh, right.

As carefully as he could, Lance situated himself onto his back before going still again. He didn't want to risk waking Hunk up yet, and he could put up with this kind of warmth for a bit longer. He blinked up at the ceiling, embarrassment creeping into his mind at the recollection of last night's events. Did he have another nightmare after falling asleep here? He couldn't remember.

He heard the quiet hiss of a door sliding open, footsteps quietly padding across the floor before Pidge peeked into his line of vision. She blinked drowsily, giving a slight smile when their eyes met.

“Morning,” she yawned, straightening up and walking out of sight. “Did you sleep okay?”

“I think so.” Lance mumbled, careful not to speak too loudly and wake Hunk up. “Did I have another nightmare?”

There was clattering as Pidge picked her way across the room, seemingly rummaging for something. “No, thankfully. How are you feeling?”

“... I dunno,” Lance admitted with a sigh. He couldn't find it in himself to lie and say he felt better. He just felt...empty. It was like any sort of feeling had just drifted out of him and left him in an uncomfortable limbo of nothing.

And suddenly, the shrill sound of the alarm was echoing down the halls. Both Lance and Hunk startled upright, the latter sputtering incomprehensibly over the loud noise. Pidge was already reaching for her laptop when Allura's voice resounded across the ship.

“Paladins, one of our allies are under invasion by the Galra and require assistance. Get ready and head to your Lions immediately.”

Lance had already gotten to his feet halfway through Allura's announcement, grabbing for his pillow and blanket as Hunk followed suit. They said their thanks to Pidge before heading back out into the hall towards their rooms, the alarm now a steady droning in the background.

They reached Hunk's room first, and he fought to give Lance a small wave under his armful of blankets before stumbling inside. Lance moved towards his room, washing up and changing as fast as possible. He felt like he was on autopilot, which was probably better for these situations. As he pulled on the last of his armor, part of him felt a bit of relief that this meant he didn't have to talk to everyone else about himself yet. He'd promised to talk yesterday, but the thought of it still had his stomach churning.

He let himself jog down the hall towards Blue's hangar, feeling her gentle purring fill his head. Filling him with concern and support. It helped him run just a bit faster, feeling more impatient to actually see his Lion again. Blue was too good to him. He didn't deserve so much.

The alarm stopped ringing right before Lance reached the zip line, and he didn't waste any time hopping on and getting into Blue as the controls glowed to life. He got on the comm lines as Blue started out, hearing the others already deep in conversation.

“—ere are we headed?” Shiro was asking.

“It's the planet of Amytria,” Allura said. “Luckily, they're just a few ticks away from our position. Their ships are reported to be taking the citizens as prisoners, so we must move quickly.”

The Amytrians had been a recently forged alliance, a peaceful species that specialized in herbal medicine using exotic plants that only grew on their planet. They all had large eyes the color of emeralds and hair a soft brown, both accentuated by the warm golden tones of their skin. Violence was never in their nature, and now they were under attack.

The others sounded in affirmation, already moving towards the coordinates that Allura sent out. A brief silence fell over the comms, one Lance didn't try breaking with a joke this time. It almost felt like the others were waiting for him to fill the gap like he usually did, which didn't make the situation any better.

“Lance”, Shiro's voice chimed in carefully. “How are you feeling?”

For some reason, that question felt a lot worse coming from Shiro than from Pidge. His hands tightened on the controls, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. The last thing he wanted was for Shiro—or anyone on the team—to think he was some time bomb that could break down at any moment.

“Lance?” Shiro spoke again, voice slightly more concerned now.

“I'm fine,” Lance said, keeping his voice light. “Nothing a good night's sleep can't fix.” He needed to focus. Shiro was doing what a leader needed to do, making sure his teammates would be capable of doing this rescue mission without being a hindrance. And he needed to prove that.

If Shiro was going to reply, it was cut off when Allura interrupted. “Paladins, we're almost there. The city is under heavy fire—we must deal with the attacking fleet before going on ground to infiltrate the main ship and release the prisoners.”

Taking the airborne ships down were easy enough. What they had in offensive capability they lacked in defense, although the Lions had to take care and send the ships crashing down on the outskirts of the village they surrounded to prevent injury to any Amytrians. Dealing with the ground forces was more problematic, Galra soldiers swarming the streets with guns as they forcefully herded citizens into small groups.

“Let's take care of these Galra outside before we go into the ships and get the Amytrians out,” Shiro called out. “We don't want to risk getting more of them caught in any crossfire.”

The others descended quickly into the center of the chaos, Keith and Shiro immediately engaging the soldiers in combat while Pidge and Hunk moved to usher the Amytrians to safety. Lance had Blue drop him off a bit further back, on top of a small hidden cliff near the Galra ship so that he could snipe the soldiers down easily. He settled into a crouch, summoning his bayard and getting in position. After taking a deep breath, he started to shoot.

It felt like second nature, letting himself focus on one target after another as he felled them all down each with a single shot. Stay focused, that's all he needed to do. He concentrated on the Galra around Pidge and Hunk, since they were working to both fend off the soldiers while protecting the Amytrians.

“Thanks, Lance!” Hunk piped up over the comms after Lance took down another solider. Things were going fine so far, and Lance took a moment to take out a Galra that had been rushing Keith. He just needed to keep this up until everyone was safe.

But he'd been too focused on the area around his teammates, aiming his sights on yet another solider when his vision went white, so bright it muffled out his other senses too.

_Suddenly, he was back in that white room, stuck behind that invisible wall that was separating him from where Pidge was on the floor, unmoving. He knew he was yelling, but for some reason he couldn't hear his voice. Or anything for that matter. All he could do was watch that Galra reach for Pidge again and—_

“—hat was that?! A bomb?!” Hunk was yelling, voice shrill. Lance startled, bayard going limp in his arms as he tried to blink the white spots from his vision.

The comms were chaos, everyone clamoring to speak over each other. Lance tried his best to piece out their words, but his ears were still ringing from whatever had just happened. Did Hunk mention a bomb?

“I think it only meant to blind us.” Shiro managed, grunting as he fought off another soldier. “Keith, can you move?”

Lance felt a rush of alarm at Shiro's words, his vision clearing enough for him to see the situation down below. Keith was on the ground, Shiro standing over him as he took on the fight for two.

“I'm fine, it's not serious,” Keith groaned, clutching at his side. He dragged himself back to his feet, his sword reappearing in his hand. “The flash caught me off guard.”

Lance moved to lift his bayard again and help, only to realize how badly his hands were trembling. He glanced up again, eyes instantly landing on Pidge, who was busy helping a Amytrian who'd fallen to the ground. She was fine. He had to calm down. He clenched his hands in an attempt to get the tremors to stop faster, taking a few more quick breaths to speed up the process.

Pathetic. He couldn't be like this during a mission, not at such a crucial time.

And then he heard another voice, this time coming from near him and not from the comms. A voice that was grating metal against his ears. “Forget the rest, we have enough prisoners on board. We're leaving!”

Xaglar.

The Galra commander was ruthlessly dragging a crying Amytrian by the collar as he stomped towards the ship entrance. One lone soldier followed right behind, gun at the ready. Lance felt every nerve in his body go on high alert, his hands reflexively gripping his bayard like a lifeline. Was this some crazed hallucination his mind was conjuring up? Hadn't Hunk told him that Yellow blew up the ship after they escaped? But as Xaglar got closer towards the ship, it became obvious that this was more than a trick of his mind.

He needed to shoot. Although his arms instinctively raised his bayard, his stupid hands were still unsteady, sending his first shot completely off target and the second no better. They were so bad that Xaglar didn't even seem to notice the shots before he crossed into the ship, the doors closing behind them with a hiss.

Shit. _Shit._

Lance scrambled to his feet, giving a rushed glance towards where the others were as he started towards the ship. The others were still fighting (how were there so many soldiers?), but the fight was in their favor now. Hunk and Pidge had finished gathering most of the civilians and had joined in the offensive, rapidly dwindling down the enemy population.

“Guys, I'm heading inside.” Lance announced, readjusting his grip on his bayard as he reached the doors. The trembling was nearly gone, he noticed in relief.

“Wait, what?” Pidge started. “Hold on--”

“They're about to take off with the prisoners.” Lance aimed his bayard up, blasting the doors off their hinges before running inside. “I have to stop it from leaving.” He needed to. This was his mistake. They couldn't risk shooting down the ship once it got off the ground when it had prisoners inside. He had to act now.

The comms were getting noisy again as everyone rushed to speak at once, all scrambling to voice their opinion. And then Coran paged in, his words easily carrying over the others. “We'll begin relocating the Amytrians outside to a safer area. Paladins, assist Lance once you finish up the soldiers.”

The resulting silence was tense, but brief. “Understood. We should be done soon.” Shiro sounded strained, the prolonged fight starting to take its toll. “Lance, be careful.”

Lance was running desperately, trying to track down where Xaglar had gone. “Yeah.”

“And g--” The comms cut off abruptly, leaving only an eerie static buzzing in Lance's ears. He wanted to be sick. It was happening all over again, except he was alone this time.

_There's no way he'd get out on his own_

_Why didn't he just shoot_

_Stupid_

_Other lives were on the line_

_He was going to burden everyone aga—_

He turned a corner, spotting that Galra solider he'd seen walking behind Xaglar stationed outside of a door. It hadn't even begun to process the enemy coming at it before Lance shot it down, not even breaking his sprint as he did so. He reached the door as the ship began to rumble, its engines warming up. Two more clean shots to the door and the control panel was enough for him to forcefully shoulder his way inside.

Lance already had his bayard trained at the center of the room where, sure enough, Xaglar was standing at the controls. He still had a hold of the Amytrian kneeling on the floor, his grip tight on the collar of her worn out shirt. She was young, her eyes wide and desperate.

“Move the ship and I shoot.” Lance prayed his voice wasn't shaking.

_Focus. Fix this._

Xaglar had met Lance's eyes the moment he'd burst in, the surprise flickering across his face for just a second before a smirk replaced it. “Well isn't this a familiar sight? Although we seem to be missing one this time.” He hauled the Amytrian to her feet with a tug, his own gun out and pressed against her temple. “Lower your weapon.”

The silence was suffocating, but no one moved a muscle. And then Xaglar laughed, the jerking movement eliciting a whimper from the Amytrian, her trembling visible even from where Lance stood.

“I like your dauntlessness, runt.” Xaglar sneered, pressing his gun even closer against the girl's temple.

The words were tumbling out before Lance could stop himself. “You, how... The ship--”

“Was destroyed.” Xaglar's voice was calm, but his eyes held a malice that sent chills down Lance's spine. “But not before I took an escape pod out. That wretched Black Paladin made the mistake of not finishing me off after our encounter. He will regret that the next time I meet him.”

Lance swallowed, his throat feeling exponentially dry. “Let the prisoners go,” He said. “Take down the barrier and set them free.”

“And will you surrender yourself in exchange?”

Lance held his breath before letting it out slowly. If worst came to worst, he actually might have to do an exchange. He'd be Xaglar's prisoner again, and deal with the glowing cell and that white room... His eyes glanced down towards Xaglar's waist, catching sight of the whip nestled in his belt. Just seeing it sent a burning sensation crawling up his back, and he caught himself before his hands started to shake.

Xaglar seemed to have notice though, an amused grin growing on his face. “Afraid? Of course, if you come to us willingly, I can assure that you have a more...pleasant trip to the Empire.”

“I'll pass.” Lance snapped, eyes flitting briefly to the control panel. There was only one camera operating that was trained on the center of the village where the fighting had been taking place. It looked deserted, a stark contrast from the flurry of activity that had filled it earlier. Had the others gotten back to their Lions?

“Why don't you consider it, Paladin?” Xaglar was speaking again, drawing Lance's attention away from the screens and back to him. “I'm sure Lord Zarkon would be very open to accepting you should you submit yourself to him. You'd be a great asset to our forces.” Once in a while, he would casually tap the gun against the Amytrian's temple, as if he were merely tapping his fingers against a tabletop. It was frustratingly terrifying, both for Lance and her.

 _Focus._ _**Focus.**_

He needed to keep Xaglar talking. Keep him distracted so he could find an opening and shoot to disarm. He wouldn't have a second chance. Something flickered across the camera before another shadow darted past. Lance could only spare it one glance before he focused back on the conversation.

“I won't betray Voltron.”

Xaglar scowled, his calm facade rapidly fading away. “What futile loyalty. It is a wasted effort against Lord Zarkon. The Galra Empire can give you so much more.”

The ship rocked violently, shaking from what felt like two consecutive blasts from a heavy object. Lance stumbled, immediately catching his footing before he readjusted his aim.

“It won't be long until Voltron meets its demise at our hands.” Xaglar kept talking, undeterred by the commotion. “You Paladins are quite easy to break. What was that little one's name again? You yelled it quite often during our interrogation. Pidge, was it?”

“Don't say her name,” Lance hissed.

The Galra commander smirked triumphantly, glad to have gotten a reaction. “Had _Pidge_ spent a little bit longer as my prisoner, I'm sure she would have spilt all of Voltron's secrets. She came quite close, I'd have to say. And that was after one session! I hadn't even gotten to my favorite tactics.”

It was a provocation. Lance knew it, yet it took everything for him not to prematurely shoot at the Galra just for the chance to make him suffer even a bit. He blew out an agitated breath. No, he couldn't afford mistakes. Not any more. He wouldn't be baited.

“You are all weak beings. I realized it when you submitted yourself for punishment in place of the Green Paladin back in the cell. Why do you self-sacrifice for the sake of others? Is it to force them into your debt? Or a desperate desire to prove yourself?”

Lance flinched this time, grip on his bayard faltering just slightly. Was he proving himself? He just wanted to protect those important to him. Those more important to the team. He just wanted to be good enough.

It was getting harder and harder to breathe the more he thought about it, which was bad. It would affect his shooting, and he needed to be precise. “ _This was your mistake. Tune him out and concentrate. There are lives at stake_ ,” he thought repeatedly, taking one slow breath after another.

Don't listen. Wait for it. Lance stiffened when he eyed the camera again. It easily caught the Yellow Lion on the screen, whose mouth was charging up what looked like another energy blast. That was his chance, and he'd need to time it right.

“Fine. Enough frivolous talk, human.” Xaglar growled, pulling up the Amytrian so high her feet barely reached the ground. “Put down your--”

When the Yellow Lion fired, Lance had already steeled himself for the impact. Xaglar hadn't, and the rocking of the ship gave Lance the opening he needed. He allowed himself one second to aim before he fired.

The shot was dead-on, striking the back of the Galra's hand and sending the gun clattering to the ground. Lance couldn't even take time to pride himself in the moment, darting forward to grab the Amytrian by the arm as Xaglar screeched in pain. He tugged hard, yanking her out of his hold before he took a few steps back to settle her on the ground, away from any danger.

Xaglar had fallen to the ground, clutching his bloodied hand and trembling with what was either pain or rage. Maybe both. It didn't matter. Lance made sure to take another shot at the gun on the floor, sending it far out of reach before he placed himself a few feet in front of the fallen Galra.

He let out one shaky breath. Then another. He stared down, the adrenaline still running full throttle through his body. He needed to finish it. Finish this and get the prisoners out.

“I'll kill you,” Xaglar was yelling again, voice distorted with hatred. “I'll kill you all! You, Pidge, the Black Paladin, all of Voltron. Death would be but a sweet reprieve once I'm through with you Paladins.”

Lance's blood ran cold, his bayard up and trained on Xaglar's chest in a heartbeat.

“You won't touch them.” He said steely. His mind had started to go blank, as if finally burnt out from the stress of recent events. Even if he fired the shot, he wouldn't be surprised if he didn't feel anything about it.

Xaglar was laughing, sounding almost insane. “You still choose them? How pathetic. Do you think that being a Paladin of Voltron makes you special? You are not. Lose one Paladin, and they will find another. Do not delude yourself in thinking you are needed.”

Lance grinned bitterly. “I'm just a boy from Cuba. I'm no one special.”

When Lance pulled the trigger, he realized he was right. He didn't feel anything.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao @ my erratic posting schedules why am i like this :'( sorry for the short chapter writer's block will be the death of me

Hunk's stomach dropped the second he heard the sound of Lance's footsteps dissipate from his comm line, a dread that solidified into a suffocating pressure in his chest when he glanced up to catch a familiar barrier envelop the ship. He'd been so distracted that he just barely noticed one of the Galra soldiers charging him, sword at the ready. White hot anger flashed through him, and he brought up his bayard cannon into a wide swing, slamming the solider aside with such force there was no way it would be getting up anytime soon. He caught his breath, the sounds on his comm finally trickling in past the blood rushing in his ears.

“—idge. Pidge! Wait!” Shiro was yelling, so loud that Hunk could hear it both in his helmet and from somewhere behind him with solid clarity. He jerked his head to the side, spotting Pidge as she sprinted towards her Lion, barely paying attention to the two soldiers that were dangerously within striking distance of her.

Hunk started to move, but Keith was already there, a dark expression on his face as he cut down both soldiers with barely contained fury. One strike each, and they were down. Pidge didn't even seem to notice, having already reached her Lion and dashing inside without a wasted breath.

“I'm taking down that stupid barrier if it's the last thing I do,” Pidge growled as Hunk watched the Green Lion shift, eyes glowing at its pilot's entrance. “Give me a few ticks.” Her voice was trembling, maybe from fear or worry. Hunk reckoned it was both.

He wanted to get to Yellow, too. They'd already found out last time that blasts from the Lion did little to nothing in terms of breaking the barrier, but he wasn't about and just wait for Pidge to figure something out in the meantime.

But then the ground started to rumble as the ship's engine flared to life, and Hunk almost threw up at the surge of panic. Keith cursed, slashing at another soldier as he covered Shiro's back. This was looking bad. So bad.

“Hunk!” Shiro's voice was sharp, and Hunk startled, tearing his gaze from the barrier to look back. “Keith and I will handle the rest, get back to Yellow!”

Hunk blinked, finally taking count of the incredibly low number of soldiers that were left. There were probably no more than ten of them, and even that wasn't accurate as Keith and Shiro both continued to take down one after another. They'd probably be finished by the time Hunk made it to Yellow. So he deactivated his bayard and booked it. Sure enough, Keith and Shiro were already dashing to their Lions by the time he'd settled into his pilot seat.

“We cannot let that ship take off!” Allura shouted, voice tight. The Castle was busy sending down flight pods to shuttle the freed Amytrians to a safer area, but even she or Coran couldn't do anything up there until the barrier was taken care of.

“Our Lions don't do any damage!” Keith said, frustrated.

By that point, Hunk was ready to suggest that the Lions pile on top of the barrier and weigh the ship down so much it wouldn't be able to move when Shiro cut in.

“Let's try again, it might make a difference. We can't give up just because it didn't work last time.”

No one argued against that, and Yellow easily powered up a blast before firing at the barrier. Like before, the majority of it seemed to just dissipate the instant it touched the surface, the area rippling violently before evening out just as fast. He caught Red fire another blast just after him in nearly the same spot, to no avail.

“I got it!” Pidge yelped, and Hunk watched her clamber back out of Green, running towards the barrier once more. “I know how to take it down!”

“What?” Hunk leaned forward in his seat, watching Pidge through his HUD. “How?!”

“The data I extracted onto my laptop back during that mission had some files about the barrier composition,” Pidge managed between breaths, slowing to a stop in front of the barrier. “I'm gonna transmit a counter-frequency that should disrupt it after a direct hit. Just give me a moment.”

Hunk tapped at his controls in nervous energy. The paranoia that the ship could take off at any second was overwhelming. But the fact that the ship still hadn't moved even after its engines started up could only mean Lance was interfering from the inside. He clutched onto that thought like a lifeline, hoping that it meant things were fine. Lance was fine.

When Pidge spoke again, Hunk was already prepared to move.

“One of you guys, hit it with everything you got!”

“I'm on it!” Hunk called, dipping Yellow closer towards the ground so that they were directly facing the front of the ship. He wanted it to be a dead-center shot. Yellow brushed against his mind with the same fierce determination, charging up as much as it could before letting the shot loose. He saw the ship visibly shudder under the force of the blast, and he turned his gaze towards where Pidge was. She'd used her jetpack to avoid the ground tremors, touching down as her gauntlet transmitted something onto the barrier.

The comms had gone tense with silence, everyone holding their breath as they waited. Seconds dragged by, and Hunk's already thin thread of patience was worn out. He blew out an irritated breath, pushing off his pilot seat and heading back out. When Pidge got the barrier down, he was gonna be ready to run in and get Lance—and the prisoners—out as soon as possible.

As he was jogging over to where Pidge was, he swore he saw the barrier flicker, like some kind of glitch. His footsteps reflexively sped up, ignoring the sudden burst of chatter on the comms. Everyone else had noticed it as well.

Pidge hadn't moved from her spot, although she'd lowered her gauntlet. She barely reacted when Hunk arrived, her eyes trained on the barrier for the slightest anomalies. He joined her, straining to catch any other kind of reaction, but none came.

“It should work,” Pidge finally hissed, irritation starting to tinge her voice. “I'm sure I extracted the right data, there's no way—“

She was right, because the barrier chose that moment to give a great shudder before dissipating. Hunk's mind went blank with surprise for a second, only to shake out of it when Pidge burst into a sprint towards the ship. Hunk scrambled to follow, already hearing Shiro and Keith moving to exit their Lions and join.

“Lance?” Hunk yelled, praying the comms were automatically reconnected on both ends. “Lance, buddy, are you there?”

“Hunk?” It was Lance's voice, and Hunk nearly cried out of relief. “But the barrier, how did you—“

“You forget Pidge is a freaking genius,” Hunk huffed out, dashing to keep up with said genius. From the looks of it, she was definitely running with a clear destination in mind, so he followed without a second thought. “We're coming to get you, and then we'll get the prisoners out to safety. Everything's fine.”

But when Lance responded, he sounded more panicked than relieved. “Wait, Pidge shouldn't—“

Just up ahead, Hunk saw Pidge sidestep a fallen Galra soldier before skidding to a stop in front of a door. Hunk finally caught up, stopping right behind Pidge to see what she was looking at. His chest loosened exponentially when he spotted Lance standing in what was most definitely the control room, a small Amytrian in his arms. Then his eyes fell on the fallen form of what looked like a Galra official nearby, a nasty and fatal wound in its chest. It was obvious who'd been the one to deal the final blow.

And Hunk was so angry, that Lance had been forced into such a situation, that he had to do it while protecting a hostage, that this all happened while he was cut off from the rest of the team under the fleeting hope that help would arrive. But Hunk swallowed it down for now—this wasn't the time or place. He gently pulled Pidge back a bit so that he could make his way inside. She offered no resistance, a mixture of shock and slight horror etched on her face. Hunk couldn't fathom why, but he could ask later.

Lance hadn't moved either, eyes darting between him and Pidge almost worriedly. The Amytrian had her arms locked around his neck, face buried against his chest as she trembled. Neither of them looked injured, something Hunk noted with relief. He inched closer, moving with slow and careful steps. He didn't want to frighten the Amytrian even more with sudden movements. He heard louder footsteps echoing down the hallway, turning to catch Shiro and Keith pop into the doorway. How they managed to catch up was beyond Hunk's comprehension.

Shiro's expression had relaxed into one of relief the second he'd spotted Lance. But then his gaze tracked over to where Hunk knew the Galra officer was, and the shock flickered on his face for a moment before a dark look clouded it over.

“Lance,” Pidge finally said, voice hoarse. “You...”

Her voice seemed to register something back in Lance, and he blinked before taking a step back, almost looking guilty. “Sorry, I didn't want you to see.”

Pidge shook her head, hard. “I don't care about that. Don't you dare apologize.” She stepped inside, pointedly looking only at Lance as she reached forward and grabbed his wrist gently. “Let's go. I know where the prisoners are.”

Lance let her pull him along, holding the Amytrian steady in his arms. Hunk followed behind, hand on Lance's back as they stepped into the hall. No one spoke. Shiro looked like he'd wanted to say something, but thought better of it and opted to follow close behind with Keith. Pidge led the way, having let go of Lance's wrist at some point as she navigated them down hallway after hallway. Hunk figured she also got some sort of layout of the ship when she'd gone back to Green earlier. Still, that didn't stop him from having a mini heart-attack at the possibility of running straight into a bunch of Galra soldiers every time they rounded a corner.

“Is it just me, or is this ship _really_ empty?” Hunk asked, careful to keep his voice low.

“We probably handled most of the soldiers outside,” Shiro said. “If there are any left, they'll probably be near the cells holding the prisoners.”

And of course, Shiro was right. Pidge—having been in front—spotted them first, only to immediately spin back around and block Lance from turning the corner. “You wait here and keep the Amytrian safe.”

Whoever Pidge spotted must have noticed her as well, because Hunk heard charging footsteps getting closer by the second. He summoned his bayard as he watched Shiro step forward, hand on Lance's shoulder.

“Pidge is right. You've done so well, Lance. We'll handle this part.” Shiro's voice was kind, even during the urgency of the situation. Lance looked like he wanted to argue, but glanced at the Amytrian tangled in his grasp and gave a stiff nod instead. Shiro offered a quick smile before jogging past and turning the corner, his hand already taking on that familiar glow. Keith wasn't far behind, and it didn't take long for the sounds of battle to ring down the halls.

Hunk opted to stay further behind, taking care of any stray soldiers that he could easily pick off. Mostly because he wanted to stay near Lance. The Amytrian must have panicked at the sudden onset of noise, because he could hear Lance whispering what was most definitely words of comfort. It hurt Hunk's heart for more than one reason.

The fight itself didn't take long, and Pidge had gotten to the main cells and deactivated them by the time the last soldier fell. Amytrians poured out (Hunk counted almost twenty of them) and Shiro took the lead, assuring them they were safe and they would be transported to the nearest village once they were back outside. The rest was a quick process, and almost all of the Amytrians were boarded on the flight pods before Hunk knew it. The little one that Lance had been holding perked up when another Amytrian called our for her, pushing against the group trying to board the pods. A family member, Hunk guessed. It was a hasty reunion, but the Amytrian—now the one holding the child in their arms—thanked Lance repeatedly before stepping into the flight pod.

Hunk only let the tension in his shoulders ease up a bit once the final pod took off, away from the ruins of what had been their village. He turned towards Lance, but Pidge was already making her way over, giving him a once-over once she stopped in front of him.

“You're not injured, are you?” She asked, squinting.

Lance gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he waved a dismissive hand. “I'm okay. As good as when we left.”

Allura's voice crackled in over the comms. “Great work, team. Coran and I will handle the rest regarding the Amytrians. Let's regroup back at the Castle and debrief.”

Lance moved first, without so much a witty remark or victorious speech. Hunk and the others headed towards their Lions as well, no one willing to break the silence first this time. It had been a successful mission, but the atmosphere felt like it had been anything but. Hunk could only hope that things went better during the debriefing, since they'd get to talk it all out. Lance especially.

Hunk and Pidge were mostly the only ones talking on the comms during the ride back, idle chatter about the data she extracted and how she managed to counter the barrier. Shiro popped in here and there, and Keith even chimed in when they touched on the flash bomb-like weapon that had detonated during the battle. Lance, however, wasn't speaking at all. It was good that the trip back to the Castle was short one, because Hunk was ready to bolt out of Yellow and go check up on Lance as soon as possible.

“I'm heading to Blue's hangar.” Hunk said, hopping out of Yellow the moment they touched down. He didn't need to say any more than that, since he knew the others would be heading there as well. He ran as fast as he could, and he wondered if he could be overreacting. Lance was most likely tired. He'd been in a stressful situation. Of course he wouldn't be in the mood to talk. But still, he tended to stick with his gut feeling. So he kept running.

Shiro and Keith were already there by the time Hunk arrived, Pidge joining them a few seconds later. Blue was settled on the ground, head nestled on top of her giant paws, but the ramp was down and the particle barrier wasn't up. Lance still not having left Blue was probably not a good sign, though.

“Should we... go in?” Keith asked.

Somewhere to the side, Hunk heard Allura and Coran entering the hangar, but he kept his eyes on Blue. She didn't look like she was on the defensive like the last time he'd tried to talk to Lance. So maybe... He took a few steps closer. Then a few more, until he was close enough to touch Blue's paw if he reached out. Still no barrier.

“Wait here,” Hunk called out. “I'll bring him out.” He dashed up the ramp and headed straight for the cockpit. He shoved down any bursts of anxiety that were fighting to crawl up his stomach, forcing himself to keep calm. Lance was fine. He was fine.

When Hunk reached the cockpit, he almost couldn't spot Lance at first. He was still in the pilot seat, hunched over with his head buried in his hands. His helmet was left abandoned near his feet. Was he trembling? Hunk cleared his throat in an attempt to announce his presence before kneeling down carefully next to the seat.

“Hey, what's wrong?” He asked, voice as soft as he could manage.

Lance didn't move, his hands completely obscuring his face and muffling his words when he spoke. “It was my fault.”

Hunk opened his mouth, then closed it. A million questions raced through his mind, but he spoke anyways. “Not sure I really understand, but I'm pretty sure I'm right in thinking that whatever it is you're blaming yourself for isn't actually your fault.”

“It is.”

“I'm gonna need you to explain this a bit more first, but is it alright if we went outside and talked?” Hunk reached down and grabbed Lance's helmet. “Everyone's waiting, and they're really worried.”

Lance stiffened for just a moment before he relaxed again. After a long moment, he let his hands fall loosely against his knees, looking mentally exhausted. He glanced at Hunk and nodded, and Hunk couldn't help but to lean forward and give him a quick hug before they got up. Maybe he could hug some energy into Lance before they went outside. He wished that were possible.

The others had been huddled in a small circle and speaking quietly when Hunk and Lance made their way down. They all immediately gathered at the end of the ramp, eyeing Lance with varying degrees of concern. Lance avoided all of it, his gaze trained on his feet.

“Lance...” Pidge started, giving Hunk a worried look before she stepped closer. “What's wrong?”

Lance scuffed his foot against the ground, not meeting her eyes. “I don't know. I just felt... bad.”

Pidge's face scrunched up in confusion. “Bad? For what?”

“For almost ruining the mission.”

Hunk didn't need to look around to see the disbelief on everyone's faces. He watched Lance—who still wouldn't look up—even though he was gaping himself. Did he say he almost ruined the mission?

“Dude...” Hunk said carefully. “You realize you practically stopped a Galra ship from taking off with a bunch of innocent civilians on your own, right?”

“Hunk's right,” Shiro added. “If anything, you—“

Lance finally looked up, eyes flashing. He wasn't crying, but he looked damn near close to it. “That's not it! The mission could've ended so much earlier if I'd just done my job right! I messed up, I messed up ever since that flash bomb thing went off. My shots were so far off they were embarrassing. If I'd been able to take out Xaglar before he even got on the ship...” He trembled, eyes back on the floor. “Then the barrier never would've gone up. And that Amytrian kid wouldn't have gone through such a scary—“

“Wait, hold on.” Pidge cut in. Her gaze was firm, determined to get her point across. “That flash bomb threw _all_ of us off. That was the _point_. You can't blame yourself for missing a few shots because of that.”

“No, I—I kept having... flashbacks.” Lance said, and Hunk felt his heart drop. “I couldn't focus because of that, even though that's the most important thing for me as a sharpshooter. It's stupid.”

Keith was the one who broke the heavy silence that followed. He'd been pretty silent throughout the whole ordeal, clearly not used to tackling such a situation, but there was heated tone to his voice now. “It's not stupid. And it's still not your fault.”

“Keith's right,” Shiro added, watching Lance with an incredibly sad expression. “PTSD is never your fault, Lance. And even still, you pulled through it and saved those prisoners from getting taken away.“

Lance shifted backwards, stepping onto the ramp again. He looked like he was ready to bolt. “I don't get how you're all acting like this is no big deal!” He yelled, fists clenched at his sides. “A Paladin of Voltron can't afford to risk a mission going wrong just because he's having _flashbacks_ at the worst times. Especially if I can't control it and let it cause problems like today!”

Hunk reached up for Lance's wrist, grabbing it almost desperately. “Lance, we just want to help—“

Lance tried to tug free, but Hunk's grip was iron tight. His expression had clouded over with anger and exhaustion, the unnatural shine in his eyes threatening to spill down his face any second. “I'm saying this isn't something you can help with! Any of you!” Hunk felt his chest ache at the last sentence. It must have shown on his face, too, because Lance's gazed flinched into one of guilt in the split second their eyes met before Lance was looking back at the others again. His shoulders sagged, almost in defeat. “This is my own problem. I'm the one who still needs to catch up to you guys. I'm trying, I swear I am.”

There was movement out of the corner of Hunk's eye, and he turned to see Allura making her way to the front, fire in her eyes. She stopped until she at the foot of the ramp, looking up towards where Lance stood a few feet away.

“Lance, you seem to be severely underestimating your worth on this team, and I find that completely unacceptable.” She straightened up, hands folded in front of her. Hunk didn't doubt that she would stay there until Lance got her message. “Only those worthy to pilot a Lion of Voltron are chosen to be one. Your selection was not a simple fluke. Do you truly find the bond to be that simple?”

Lance's eyes widened slightly, his chest heaving. “No, that's... Blue is—“

“The Blue Lion chose _you_ as its Paladin, Lance. And no one here doubts that decision. You contribute important insight to the team when the situation calls for it, you cover our weak spots from a distance during combat, and you truly fight to protect. This team cannot be without one of its crucial supporting members.”

Lance swallowed, breath shaky. A few tears had finally spilt over, but he made no effort to wipe them. Hunk gave Lance's wrist a gentle squeeze, a silent show of support at Allura's words. Hunk was ready to recite the exact speech every day if Lance still wouldn't acknowledge it right now.

“I'm not good enough.” Lance said. The words came out quiet, different from the anger he'd just been channeling. He just sounded tired now, but it was obvious Lance still believed every word he said.

Hunk caught Pidge move behind Shiro, giving him a firm shove forward until he was standing right behind Allura. He didn't seem fazed by the movement, his expression pained as he put a gentle hand on Allura's shoulder to let her know he was there. Underneath his grip, Hunk felt Lance go rigid.

“Lance, I just wanted to start off and say that I'm not mad at you. I'm not. I never was.”

For a moment, Lance looked taken aback. He blinked, the tears nearly dried out on his cheeks, his brows scrunched in confusion. “You... what?”

“I'm not mad at you, and I'm sorry if I ever made you think that way. I was just worried. You and Pidge went through something terrible, and you had to deal with another terrible situation almost right afterwards on your own. I could barely do anything to help back then, and that's why I want to help now. Even if it's just talking to me or you needing a sparring partner, I'll do it. Believe me when I say you're such an important part of the team. Both as a Paladin and as a friend.”

Lance had been motionless the entire time Shiro spoke, a conflicted look on his face. He looked at Shiro, then at the floor, then back at Shiro again. And when he opened his mouth to speak, it was to ask, “You're really not mad?”

Shiro flashed a warm smile as he nodded. “I promise.”

Lance ducked his head this time, and Hunk was close enough to see the slight flush of embarrassment that flitted across his face. But Lance had relaxed again, so Hunk counted this as a small victory. Maybe they could try for one more. He tugged lightly at Lance's wrist to get his attention.

“See, we all need you, buddy. Do you finally believe us now?”

Lance looked at Hunk with a slight uncertainty, silent for a long moment. Maybe Hunk was just desperate for a sign, but he thought that he might have a seen a wisp of hope in Lance's eyes at the question. But Lance didn't reply. He looked back at the floor again, his wrist limp in Hunk's hand.

Hunk didn't let it deter him. If anything, he'd expected it. He knew this would take time. “It's okay. You don't gotta answer now. But don't let this be just your problem. We wanna help because we're a big Voltron family and we care about you. Slow and steady, yeah?”

And, after short consideration, Lance gave a small nod. “Yeah.”

Hunk grinned broadly this time, and he pulled Lance with enough force to bring him back down the ramp. He maneuvered himself behind Lance's shoulders, gently pushing him towards the group.

“Group hug!” He called out, hugging Lance from behind as he slung both arms around Shiro and Allura's shoulders to tug them closer. Lance let out a surprised noise when he found himself sandwiched between the three of them, but by then it was too late to escape even if he tried. Pidge and Keith moved right after, although Keith hesitated for a good few seconds while Pidge burrowed her way to Lance's side. At Hunk's stare, Keith shuffled close enough for Hunk to stretch an arm out and tug Keith in against Shiro. Coran had stepped up next to Hunk, one arm outstretched across Hunk's shoulders and while his other hand wiped away at the tears in his eyes.

Lance shifted—or at least tried to—his face fully flushed with embarrassment now. “Uh, guys? You don't have to—“

“Denied.” Pidge piped up, voice muffled from where she was buried. “Be selfish for once and enjoy this very rare group hug.”

Allura laughed as Shiro reached up to ruffle Lance's hair, and even Keith cracked a smile. Hunk felt his own chest loosen up. This was good. It was a good start.

The debriefing would probably have a wait a bit longer, though.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gonna be more active on [my tumblr](https://yuki-setsu.tumblr.com/) this week since i'll be doing the 12 Days of Voltron Whumpmas (sorry lance you in for a wild time ily) so feel free to come talk to me on there!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know it's been almost 6 months but don't let that distract you from the fact that lance didn't get the arc or development he deserved in season 6 of VLD. in this essay i will--
> 
> (jk season 6 was great so many great moments I LOVE KEITH but i hope lance gets DEVELOPMENT in season 7 i'm quaking)

The debriefing, more or less, felt awkward. At least in Keith's opinion. Lance had definitely relaxed a bit more after Blue's hangar, but it still looked like something was bothering him. They'd changed out of their armor and relocated to the lounge, Lance sitting at the center of the couch with Hunk and Pidge practically glued on either side of him. Keith settled closer towards the edge next to Shiro, Allura and Coran doing the same on the opposite end.

It started off fine. Allura did most of the talking in regards to the relocation of the Amytrians and the possible added aid they'd offer in terms of supplies. No one had much to contribute, although everyone's expressions got a bit grimmer once Allura finished up. There was a short lull before Hunk cleared his throat.

“Lance, if you don't want to talk about it...”

Lance stiffened, eyes trained on his knees and hands in his pockets. But he shook his head. “No, it's fine. There's just not much to say.” He finally looked up, tired resignation on his face. “You all heard most of what happened outside back at the hangar, so I'll skip over that. Once I got inside, the barrier went up, and uhh... I panicked a bit.”

“Anyone would've panicked at that.” Pidge mumbled, head against Lance's shoulder.

Lance pursed his lips, but didn't respond to the comment. “I ran to the control room, found Xaglar with the hostage, and—”

Keith felt his breath catch the same moment Hunk let out a noise of alarm. “Wait, Xaglar? Please tell me that's not the same guy as...”

After a long moment, Lance ducked his head again, voice small. “Yeah, same guy.”

The shock hit Keith in a wave. Then the disbelief. Then the outrage. Suddenly, Pidge and Shiro's reaction back in that control room made sense. They'd already known. Lance's situation had already been bad enough, but this... This left an anger burning in his chest, hot and stinging with nowhere to go. Xaglar didn't deserve the quick death he got. Not at all.

Hunk wasn't any better off, his face a thundering storm of rage. His hand had reached behind Lance's shoulders and towards Pidge, pulling both of them closer towards him. Pidge pressed against Lance, draping an arm across his front in a limp hug. Lance was quiet, the guilt and discomfort obvious on his face. Keith hated how Lance always looked guilty lately.

“Xaglar's lucky I never got a chance to get my hands on him.” Hunk growled.

The silence was telling, long and tense until Allura finally broke it, worry still tracing her features as she glanced in Lance's direction. “What matters is that Lance is safe now. And that we make sure something like this doesn't happen to any one of us again.” The room murmured in assent before they went quiet again, waiting for Lance to continue. When he didn't, Allura straightened up, the concern a bit more palpable. “Lance, if you don't wish to go further...”

Lance blinked, looking as if he'd been lost in his thoughts again until Allura called his name. He shrugged weakly. “It's fine. Uh... He had a hostage, so I couldn't shoot right away. I was lucky enough to see the cameras, so I was able to find an opening thanks to you guys hitting the barrier outside.” Hunk squeezed his shoulder, and Lance's shoulder's relaxed by a degree. “I got the hostage away from him and... yeah.”

“You did well, Lance. Don't forget that.” Shiro suddenly said, voice firm. And although Lance usually brightened up whenever he got praised by Shiro, all he managed today was a smile that wasn't quite there.

Allura opted to wrap up the debriefing after that, which finished things quickly. Lance was notably silent the rest of the conversation, a blank expression on his face as chatter from the others filled the room. Keith was glad when he heard her mention the team take a few days to relax—save for emergency distress signals—because it's what they all needed right now. Especially Lance.

When the debriefing finally ended, Lance was the first to stand, saying he was going to his room for a little bit. Pidge and Hunk didn't pause in following, and seeing as how Lance didn't tell them to not come along, Keith figured they'd stay with him and make sure he was fine. That's one less thing to worry about for now.

Keith stayed where he sat, watching Allura and Coran head back out the doors before he glanced at Shiro, who still hadn't moved either. He looked exhausted, maybe even more so than Lance. After a few moments, Keith got up and moved to sit next to Shiro, patting him on the shoulder.

“You okay?”

Shiro blew out a breath, his head falling against the back of the couch. “Yeah, I'm fine.”

“You don't look fine, Shiro.” Keith frowned. “Is it Lance?”

Shiro slumped, his face weary. “I'm just...worried. Even after that talk in Blue's hangar, he still seems...off.”

At least he hadn't been the only one to think it. Lance looked on edge the entire debriefing, troubled by something he clearly wasn't going to share with the team. “He probably needs time. Like Allura said, what matters is that we got them both back, so now we just need to help them recover.”

Shiro nodded, although he didn't look convinced.

Keith blew out a sigh. “Don't put this all on yourself, either. Because I know you are. What happened wasn't your fault.” He gently poked at Shiro's arm with his elbow. “And go get some sleep. You look like you need it.”

Shiro cracked a grin at that. “What are you, my caretaker now?” Nonetheless, he pushed himself to his feet, squeezing Keith's shoulder as he got up. “But thanks. You get some rest, too.”

Keith watched Shiro leave, mind still buzzing with thoughts. He wasn't tired enough to sleep yet. He'd probably go train in a bit, get some energy out. There wasn't much else he had to do, and he needed a distraction. A small part of him wondered if _he_ needed to talk to Lance, too, but he shot that down. He couldn't remember the last time he and Lance had a serious one-to-one conversation. How would he even broach the topic?

Forget about that for now. He could think it over later. Keith stood up, huffing out a sigh before he headed out into the hallway. He'd go train.

But a few moments later, Keith stood at the door of the training deck, eyes wide at the scene inside. Lance was already there, busy shooting away at practice robots that flitted through the air. He was in his regular clothes, although his hoodie was noticeably missing. His back was to Keith, which meant he hadn't been spotted yet, and Keith blinked out of his surprise and stepped backwards, letting the doors quickly slide shut. Hadn't Lance gone to his room?

Keith thought for a second, listening to the muffled noises of Lance's bayard firing before he turned back down the hall, heading for his room. He'd go back once Lance was finished training. Maybe in an hour or so.

It had been surprising to see Lance train on his own. Keith figured Lance never really cared for personal training, but maybe he'd been wrong. Still, when he'd seen Lance dodging and shooting at the drones, back stiff with tension, Keith had wanted nothing more than to tell Lance to go and rest instead. After all, that had been the whole point of Allura giving the team a few days off. It sounded hypocritical coming from him, but he knew Lance needed rest more than anyone right now. Along with Pidge. Hopefully the training tired Lance out enough to go back to his room and get some sleep.

* * *

 

Keith got antsy after exactly an hour, to the point where pacing the room wasn't cutting it anymore. He figured it had been long enough, grabbing for his bayard and a spare towel before trekking back towards the training deck. Although, he did take one quick detour to the kitchen to grab a water pack. It was probably a little too late to be training too much, though, so he'd cut his session short today.

But when he reached the training deck doors once more, the all-too-familiar sounds of Lance's bayard were still ringing in his ears. Keith blinked, stunned. Lance was _still_ training? He pressed the control to open the door, his surprise quickly melting into alarm at the sight.

He'd never seen so many bots move that quickly, flitting in random sequences that left his eyes spinning. Some were shooting lasers, but it was almost impossible to tell where they would come from. Lance was at the center of it all, practically covered in sweat at this point. He was still shooting, still moving, but everything in his movements had gotten heavy and sluggish. It almost looked like he was walking in quicksand. Keith could hear the buzz whenever Lance's shots landed on yet another target, and that in itself was both impressive and slightly terrifying. But even the most seasoned shooter wouldn't have been able to hit the amount of targets at such a close radius, and Keith caught too many laser shots grazing Lance's clothes and hitting what would be vital spots. And even though the training simulations make the lasers harmless, the sight was still chilling.

There was one more buzz before the drones suddenly froze in their movements and disappeared. The level was over. Keith started to take another step forward when Lance slumped over, panting as he caught his breath. His legs were visibly shaking to hold his weight, and Keith frowned. This was way past regular training.

But all of a sudden, Lance straightened back up, staggering a bit as he did so. The grim expression on his face never changed. “Start... Start training level 6.”

Keith's eyes widened the instant the room started to rev back to life. He ran forward this time, letting the door shut behind him as he yelled, “End training sequence!”

The drones disappeared as quickly as they showed up, and Lance whirled around, surprise etched on his face when he spotted Keith. The closer he got, the more it was obvious how physically drained Lance was. His hands were trembling to even hold up the bayard by his side—Keith couldn't fathom how he expected to shoot in that state.

“Keith?” Lance gaped. “What...”

Keith grimaced, using his hands to press down against Lance's shoulders. He wanted him to sit down first. Lance buckled almost too easily under the light pressure, and Keith had to scramble to grab Lance's arms so that he didn't go crashing to the ground. It almost made him feel guilty for being too aggressive, but watching Lance struggle to catch his breath once he sat down reignited the irritation again.

“What the hell are you doing?” Keith hissed, snatching Lance's bayard and placing it off to the side. He kept an hand on Lance's shoulder to make sure he didn't fall over before he held out the water pouch he'd brought. Lance took it, but made no move to open it.

“I'm _training_.” Lance snapped back, his tone sharp even over the exhaustion coating it. “What does it _look_ like I'm doing?”

“Training in that state isn't training.” Keith said, pointing at the water pouch. “Drink.”

Lance sighed, taking the pouch and downing the entire thing almost too quickly before he set it down. His body was still trembling, as if it was a challenge to even stay sitting upright, and Keith tightened his grip.

“There,” Lance grumbled. “Happy? Can I get back to my training now?”

Keith was the one gaping this time. “What? No, you're done for today.”

Lance scowled, trying to shrug off Keith's hand off his shoulder to no avail. “Uh, I don't recall ever needing your permission to—”

It took all of Keith's willpower not to just lug Lance over his shoulder and carry him back to his room to wash up and sleep. “Do you not see yourself right now? You're in no condition to train. Have you even taken a break since you started?”

Lance pointedly glared at the floor, only confirming Keith's suspicions. And they said _he_ was the reckless one. He sighed. “Training is good and all, but you need to know your limits, Lance.”

“You're seriously the last person in the universe I want to hear that from.” Lance grumbled. The exhaustion must've really started to settle in though, because he'd gotten limp to the point where Keith's hand was the only thing keeping Lance upright.

Keith grumbled, using his free hand to grab Lance's other shoulder to straighten him up. “Yeah, yeah. We should move towards the walls. Can you walk or do I have to carry you?”

Lance looked up in alarm. “I can walk.”

It was an obvious lie, but Keith didn't comment on it. Lance couldn't even get to his feet without Keith having to heave him up by the arms, so he opted to just sling one of Lance's arms over his shoulders and practically carried him over anyways. Lance collapsed against the wall with a sigh, looking way too sweaty and way too tired.

Keith went back to pick up his towel before trekking back handing it to Lance. “For your sweat. I'm gonna go get some more water.”

Lance glanced at the towel and then the floor. “You don't need to get water, I'll do it later. I'm fine—I just need a little break, so you can—”

Keith stomped the last few steps in front of Lance and knelt down so he could press the towel in Lance's hands himself. Lance flinched at the sudden movement, and the slight pang of guilt had Keith pulling back a little. He was still angry, though. Enough was enough.

“Did you listen to _anything_ we talked about earlier?” Keith growled. “We're all worried about you and want to help, so let us. I'm not gonna leave you here and let you train yourself to death.” He stood back up, somewhat satisfied with the stunned look on Lance's face. “I'm getting water. Wipe yourself off.”

When Keith came back, water pouches in hand, he was relieved to see Lance actually used the towel. The bits of defiance from earlier seemed to be gone, leaving Lance with just an air of weariness. Keith frowned, sitting down next to Lance on the wall and handing him another pouch. Lance took it, drinking as Keith wondered on what to do next. He never expected to even be in this situation, after all.

“Weren't you going to your room with Hunk and Pidge?” Keith started carefully, poking at the extra water pouch in his lap.

Lance sighed. “We hung out in Pidge's room for a bit. They were working on the communication bracelet, and I didn't want to bother them.”

Keith glanced over, questioning. “Did they say you were a bother?”

“No, but there wasn't much I could contribute anyways. I told them I was gonna go train for a bit. I needed a distraction.”

Keith finally straightened up at that, turning to glance at Lance as he did. “Distraction from what? What's bothering you?”

For a long moment, Lance didn't answer. Keith worried he might have pushed the question too quickly, but he never did well with beating around the bush, anyways. Especially with Lance. Might as well tackle the problem head-on and see if he can do anything about it.

“I just want to get better.” Lance finally said, so quiet Keith had to strain to hear it. “I know you all say I'm doing fine, but I just... I don't feel like it's enough. Especially after what happened on that last mission. Shooting's all I can do when I'm providing backup in combat, and if I even mess that up, then...” He trailed off, turning the towel over in his hands.

It made no sense. Keith understood the feeling of wanting to improve, but this seemed way worse. In all the time he'd known Lance, he'd never seen him look so defeated. Had he always put himself down this much? If Lance and Pidge had never been captured by the Galra, would any of them have even known?

“Lance, you're a good shooter.” Keith bristled when Lance cast him a doubtful look. “I'm not just saying that. You got to level six of that training simulation just now! I didn't even know that level existed.”

“Yeah, 'cause you don't use the shooting simulation.”

Keith shook his head, insistent. “I don't even get that high on the combat simulations. Listen.” He shifted away from the wall so he could face Lance more clearly. “I know we don't talk much, and even though we argue sometimes, I really do respect you as a teammate. If you'd been doing poorly on missions, I would've said something already. You know that.”

Lance watched him carefully, and Keith caught the faint surprise hiding behind his blank expression. Keith almost felt embarrassed, hoping his ears didn't look as warm as they felt. It needed to be said, anyways.

After a heavy pause, Lance ducked his head, almost flustered. “I guess.”

Keith tossed the last water pouch in Lance's lap before he pushed himself to his feet. “So stop thinking so negatively. And it's fine to train, but do it properly. Take breaks and drink water in between levels.” He thought for a second before adding, “And if you want, I can help you train.”

Lance looked up at that, the disbelief clear on his face. “What? _You?_ Help me shoot?”

Keith rolled his eyes. “No, definitely not. I meant I could spar with you once in a while. Help you learn some self-defense. It might come in handy during a mission if the enemy gets too close.”

If Lance didn't look surprised before, he definitely did now. He stared wide-eyed for a long moment before he blinked, as if the words finally sunk in. “Really? You'll spar with me?”

“Yeah.” Keith walked towards Lance's bayard, picking it up and handing it to him. “Not today, though. You need to go sleep.”

Lance's face quickly melted into one of disapproval. “I'm not tired.”

“Please, even _I_ can see you're tired.” Keith sighed, holding out a hand to help Lance up. It was better this time, although Lance was still a little wobbly. “We can spar tomorrow, if you want.”

Another sound filled the room. A door hissing open. “Lance!” Keith turned around, catching Hunk standing at the entrance. “Oh, Keith, you too? Training together?”

Keith shook his head, taking the empty water pouches from Lance's hands. “Not today. Did you need something?”

“Lance said he was gonna go train, so I came to check in on him.” Hunk stepped inside, squinting at Lance as he got closer. “Dude, you look _beat_. Are you feeling okay?”

Lance sighed, pointedly ignoring the look Keith gave him. “I'm fine. Let's go.”

Hunk lugged an arm around Lance's shoulders, happily chattering about the progress he and Pidge had made on the bracelet. Before they could leave the room, though, Hunk took a peek back towards Keith. “It's getting late, man. Don't train too much, 'kay?”

Keith almost wanted to say he was saying that to the wrong person, but he swallowed and nodded as the doors slid shut. After a moment, he bent down to pick up his bayard. Hunk was right, though—he'd train only for a little bit tonight.

* * *

 

The next morning started off quiet. Keith was glad there were no distress calls overnight, since he'd managed to get a few hours of sleep thanks to it. When he got down to the kitchen for breakfast, he wasn't surprised to see it empty. It wasn't often they got to sleep in, but Allura was probably being lenient this time around.

He'd just grabbed a bowl of space goo and settled down at the table when he heard the doors open again. He glanced over, catching Hunk walk in, Lance and Pidge following right behind. Keith looked up once to catch their approaching figures, back at his bowl, and then back up again.

Something was off.

Hunk looked worn-down, as if he'd barely had a decent night's sleep. His steps were particularly heavy, almost dragging across the floor as he moved. He managed a weak smile, waving at Keith when their eyes met, but the exhaustion was clear on his face. It was a completely different image from the Hunk he'd seen at the training deck last night. Pidge didn't look any better, but he was used to seeing her like that from her numerous all-nighters and lack of a sleep schedule. But even they looked better off than Lance. His eyes were swollen as if he'd cried for a good hour or two, arms crossed and tight against his chest. That part alarmed Keith the most, and he straightened up in his seat. Lance kept his eyes trained on the ground, however, mostly letting Pidge—who was basically glued against his side—lead him towards the table instead.

Keith was glad when Hunk took a seat next to him while Lance and Pidge headed to get some food. He didn't waste any time, pushing his own bowl aside and looking to Hunk for answers. “What happened?”

Hunk sighed, almost deflating as he sagged against his seat. “He had another nightmare. Two, actually. It was pretty bad this time. He barely slept after them.”

“Neither did you or Pidge, apparently.” Keith frowned.

Hunk waved a hand, dismissive. “I'm fine. Just tired. I can deal with this, but those two...”

Keith glanced over, watching Pidge and Lance fill up their bowls, Pidge whispering something as she did so. Lance responded with an occasional nod or shrug, but he didn't seem to be talking. “How's Pidge?”

“She's doing okay,” Hunk said softly. “I only caught her having one nightmare before, but she woke up right away. I think most of it is just her worrying about Lance.” His voice got a little lower, almost sad. “She still blames herself for the mission going wrong. I've been trying to talk to her about it, but... I don't think it'll go really away until Lance feels a bit better.”

It was frustrating, really, to know his teammates were suffering and there wasn't much he could do to help. For now, at least. He was getting somewhere with Lance, maybe. It wasn't a big start, but it would have to do.

“Hey.” Hunk prodded at Keith's arm, snapping him out of his thoughts. “You look like you're thinking too hard. It'll be fine. We'll get through this.”

The sound of chairs scraped across the table, and Keith saw Lance and Pidge take a seat. Lance finally met his eyes for a second as he sat down, giving a tight grin as he did so. Up close, he looked more haggard than Keith expected. Even his skin looked dried out, which was a rarity for Lance. Hunk was saying something next to him, and Lance looked up to respond, but Keith was too busy staring a hole in Lance's head to even hear the conversation.

“Hey,” Keith said, waiting until he caught Lance's attention. “Did you still wanna spar tonight?”

Lance blinked, thrown off by the question. But then he nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

“Alright, just let me know whenever.” Keith sat back, relaxing to a degree. Pidge threw him a surprised stare, looking a bit impressed at the same time. Maybe even a little grateful. Somewhere off to the side, Hunk laughed and said something, elbowing Keith's arm gently.

It was a start.

* * *

 

Keith and Lance met up later than evening to spar, although Lance came to get him pretty late. He had an inkling of an idea why, but he didn't mention it. They only took a bit of time to warm-up before they got into some light sparring. With Keith giving a mini lesson on self-defense in between their little matches, it was enough to get them tired enough to take a break after a while.

And that was when Keith decided to bring it up. He figured it was now or never.

“You should talk to Shiro.”

Lance froze, the water pouch halfway to his mouth before it slowly went back to his lap. He looked almost dumbfounded by the sudden comment. “What?”

Keith shrugged, wiping off some sweat from his forehead. “I don't mean it in a bad way or anything. Just... talk to him. He'd understand. Better than any of us, he'd understand.”

Lance shook his head. “I don't know what you're talking about, dude.”

In all honesty, Keith couldn't tell if Lance was just trying to deny it or if Keith been too vague in the first place. Maybe a mixture of both. “You're having trouble sleeping, right? Because of nightmares?” Lance stiffened, and Keith knew he hit the mark. “Is that why you want to train so late? To stay awake?”

There was a heavy silence, almost growing physically uncomfortable as time passed. Keith opted to wait it out, fiddling with the towel in his hands. Lance had looked away almost guiltily at the last question, his hands tight around the water pouch.

“I'm not gonna go talk to Shiro just because I'm having nightmares.” Lance finally said, voice grim.

“It's not just that,” Keith added firmly. “He's worried about you. And he wants to talk to you—I know he does. So just... go see him. He was captured by the Galra, too, so—”

“For basically a _year_ , Keith.” Irritation flickered behind Lance's eyes. Or it could be frustration. “I was with them for... what? Two days? How does that even compare to what he—”

“No, we're not comparing.” Keith cut in, voice rigid. “Pain is pain, Lance. And sometimes it helps to talk to someone who's been through something similar.” He crossed his arms, sending Lance a pressing look. “Look, Shiro already told you he wasn't mad at you, I don't know why you won't talk to him.”

Something flashed on Lance's expression before he tossed the water pouch to the side. He jumped to his feet, hands clenched at his sides. “And I don't know why that's any of your business! Are you my therapist or something?” He snapped, practically yelling the words. “I'm _fine_ , I'll get over this on my own, so stay out of it!”

Anger burned like a hot knife in Keith's chest, and he leapt up, too. “What part of 'Let us help you' did you not understand yesterday?” He took one, two steps forward until they were only a few feet apart. “Do you think needing support is a crime? Think you're too good for it or something?”

For a moment, Lance's expression faltered, his anger flickering into one of hesitation. “That's not...”

Keith pressed forward, too revved up to back down yet. “Really? Because you're sure acting that way. If you think asking for help is beneath you, then—”

“That's _not it_!” Lance exploded, effectively cutting off Keith's tirade. For a second, they both stood there, chests heaving, the tension nearly palpable in the room. Lance took another breath, and Keith heard it shudder. “I'm a burden, Keith.”

Keith blinked, wondering if he heard right. But when he saw the way Lance's eyes had started to glisten, he felt his own chest tighten. He didn't expect the conversation to go this way. Not at all.

“You...” Keith started, the anger melting out of him like sieve. “Are you serious? We _talked_ about this. Allura even told you...!”

Lance's face crumpled, ducking his head when the tears started to spill over. “You saw Hunk and Pidge today. They're exhausted. And it's my fault. I know they want to help, but it obviously takes a toll on them.” He angrily wiped at his eyes. “I don't want to drag down the team by dumping my problems on them. And if Shiro also finds out about this, then... Then...”

It was frustrating and heartbreaking at the same time. Keith stood there, mouth opening and closing in silence. He didn't know. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. His mind had gone blank, overwhelmed by the millions of thoughts crowding it. But that didn't matter. Even though he didn't know what, he had to say _something_.

“Lance.” Keith finally said, reaching up and squeezing at Lance's arm when there was no response. Lance jumped at the contact, eyes meeting for a millisecond before he dropped his head again, as if embarrassed. “We're Paladins.”

Lance sniffled wetly. “Thanks, genius.”

Keith ignored the jab. “What I mean is that we have the burden of defending the entire _universe_ on our shoulders. If we can't even take care of each other, how are we supposed to save anyone else?” Lance glanced up at that, which was encouragement enough. “Helping each other isn't always going to be easy, but we do it because the end result is worth it. Hunk and Pidge aren't helping you out of obligation, they're doing it because they want to see you feel better. We all want you to feel better.”

“Why?” Lance asked, tense under Keith's grip. “It's easier to just replace me.” His voice cracked at that, and Keith felt his stomach clench. “Find someone better. It's not hard.”

Keith swallowed, feeling like his throat was coated in sandpaper. He didn't even think before he tugged Lance's arm, pulling him into a hug. It was easier for him to talk this way, anyways. Seeing Lance's expressions hurt too much right now. Lance went stiff at the hold, trying to push away for a moment until Keith tightened his arms.

“We won't replace you. Allura said it before, but you were chosen as the Blue Paladin for a reason, so don't think you can go running away from it like that. Being a defender of the universe isn't that simple, you know.” Keith sighed, patting Lance's back gently. “You're as important as any of us on the team.”

Lance sniffled, the noise loud against Keith's ears. “You're not just saying that?”

“I'm not.” Keith said, a bit too heatedly. “I don't say things for the heck of it.”

“... Thanks."

“So stop putting yourself down before I go tell Hunk and have him lecture you for the next century.”

Lance choked out a laugh at that, and Keith felt hands grip at the back of his jacket. “Was that a threat?”

“Maybe,” Keith mumbled. He gave it a few more seconds before he loosened his grip enough for Lance to pull back. His face was still a mess, but at least he'd stopped crying. “Sorry about what I said earlier.”

Lance flushed, clearing his throat. “No, it's fine. Sorry for overreacting.” He took a glance at Keith, as if gauging his reaction for something. “Are you sure Shiro doesn't mind talking to me?”

Keith nodded. “He won't. I promise.”

There was a burst of relief when Keith noticed the way Lance's shoulders relaxed even a little bit, the tension slipping off his face with each passing second.

Lance took in a breath. “Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways i'm sorry school and work have left me dead in a ditch but eventually the guilt piled up to the point where i sat down for a bit and forced myself to churn out this chapter,,,, i honestly think i rushed the story a bit because i wanted to POST AN UPDATE so pls forgive :'( 
> 
> in all honesty i think i'm getting burnout from this story because i wrote the whump and it's getting hard to tie up everything LOL.... i was planning on having one chapter after this to finish the story but we'll see i guess T__T this is why you don't start other WIP that you get more invested in, y'all


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